Child Bearing Hips

Friday night leftovers

2012-01-27T14:03:00.002-05:00

This week has been crazy stressful. I scooped up my dear friend and have brought her home and have been taking care of her. She is slowly regaining use of her hands, but needs a lot of help. Seeing someone I love like this makes me sad. But so glad I'm here to help.

Tuesday night, Cam woke up with a nosebleed. Poor guy! We turned on the humidifiers in the kid's rooms, so hopefully that helps.

Wednesday, daycare called in a bit of a panic that Cam had slammed his finger in a door and 'We aren't sure if it's broken or not'. I jump into the car in a panic, and even called to doc to see what I should do. They were pretty laid back about the whole broken finger thing - as there isn't that much you can do for a broken finger. But when I got to school? No blood, no swelling and Cameron wasn't even crying. I was a little annoyed that they called me - but I guess better safe than sorry. He was very happy to get a hug from Mommy and when I explained if he came home with me, he couldn't watch any TV - also very happy to stay at school.

I wanted to cancel my fun that I had scheduled this week (freezer paper tee-shirt making last night and a massage tonight) but Aaron told me to just do it. And I had a blast last night, so that was good

And! My new cooking excitement! I know I told you all how much I love Dream Dinners - it is less expensive than take-out (and healthier) but still expensive (about $4 per serving). I've been slowly changing over to doing my own freezer cooking and I've just found the tool to make it super easy to do on my own! And inexpensive! Seriously, less than $2 a serving! I've been doing Once a Month Mom's mini-menus and they ROCK. So far, I like every recipe I've tried, and they are very simple to prepare.

This list has taken me all day to write. I'll sign off for now, wish everyone a happy weekend and get ready for my well-deserved massage tonight!

Valentine's Day

2012-01-26T10:10:00.003-05:00

When I was younger and still single, I used to get some cute Valentine's day cards and put them in the mail to all my female friends. Some were in relationships, some were single - but I figured it is always nice to get mail on a day when the hype is all about being loved and remembered. So I would send little packages to the special people in my life and hope it made them smile.

As time went on, I've fallen out of doing that. No reason why, either. And this year, one of my Facebook friends posted the coolest thing:

(Source here)

Totally simple to make and really cool! My plan is to make a bunch of these, turn them into pins and send them to my friends.

Then I was thinking how cute it would be to include a little Valentine from the kids with the pin, and I'd been searching for ideas - but honestly, they are still too young to really do more then scribble on a piece of paper. I'm not saying that isn't cute - but often I can't engage them for more than one piece of paper. And then I turn into the Craft Nazi - "Get back in here and draw! Draw another! And Another!" Which isn't fun for me or the kids. And makes Aaron wonder what is WRONG with me.

But then I got an email from Tiny Prints asking me to tell you all about their cute Valentine cards (I'll get 50 free cards for telling you about it). Looking through the Valentines Day Greeting Cards - there are some really cute ideas! I truly only think to order cards for Christmas, but I love this idea. Especially that there is a photo card option... great for relatives.

I would totally get this card because I think it's the best card for 2 kids of a different gender - a bunch of them are VERY gender specific (which makes sense as they are booked as classroom cards, so obviously meant for one kid to bring into school). But such a neat idea, and so much better than those cheesy one you buy at the store and a lot less work than me hand making them (which is what I've done the past two years because the cheap ass ones from the store bother me).

They are rather 'fabulous' so I'm sure when I give them out I'll get a little teasing from the other mom's at daycare - they already jokingly refer to me as Martha, since my kids are always coming to school with homemade capes, and knitted hats and homemade baby food. But whatever. It's fun to be fabulous. Especially when you barely have to do any work!

Follow Tiny Prints on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest to keep up with all the latest stuff!

What's important to me

2012-01-24T12:10:00.004-05:00

A close friend had a scary incident this weekend, and called me last night. She needed me to drive her to a doctors appointment because she can't drive herself. This isn't my story to tell, but let me just say she is a fiercely independent women, so it takes a lot for her to ask for help.

She was going to call first thing this morning to make the appointment, so I wasn't sure what time or for how long I would be sitting in the doctor's waiting room. Now that I've talked to her more, she sounds OK and we have a plan in place (she is coming home with me tonight so I know she is safe and cared for) I can laugh at how I packed my bag for the unknown.

In my bag was my laptop, my iPhone charger, two muffins, a dozen cookies, a big mug of coffee and a knitting project. With those things, I can pretty much handle anything.

Carpe Diem

2012-01-23T10:16:00.002-05:00

There is an article on Huffington Post that is making the rounds with my facebook friends - Don't Carpe Diem. And I get it. There is a frustration while you are in the trenches of child-rearing to want to punch people in the face when they are constantly reminding us that 'They grow up SO fast! Treasure it now". I get it, I do. I'm finding joy in each age and stage (and the horrors too, trust me) that my kids go through.

But one thing that I do push myself to do is to not rush it.

Mornings are a perfect example. I let the kids wake up on their own in the morning. I have this luxury because they tend to not sleep in past 8, and also, because my work is pretty flexible about when I get in. Cam, the early riser, gets out of bed and wakes me up, and we hang out in my bedroom until Maggie wakes up. And lately, Cam runs downstairs and goes outside in the snow to play while Maggie and I make the breakfast smoothies.

This weekend, we got about 6 inches of snow. And spent a lot of time outside with the kids playing in it. Both kids are finally into sledding - so we spent a lot of time running up and down the tiny hills around our house. This morning, Cam insisted on putting on his snow pants to go outside. Which was annoying, but whatever. I got him into the whole outfit and sent him outside. Maggie and I went back upstairs, and she looks at me and says 'Go outside? Sled?'. At this point, it's 8 AM, and I really just want to get the kids to daycare so I can go to work. But I took a deep breath, and said, sure Maggie, lets sled. As I'm sure most mom's know - the amount of time it takes to get the kids in the snow gear is equal to or more than the actual amount of time they spend in the snow.

I bundled her up, we went sledding for all of about 15 minutes before both kids were asking to go inside for hot cocoa (which I was able to defer to breakfast smoothies in the car). When we were sledding, Cam got sick of waiting for me to haul Maggie back up, and figured out how to lay down on the sled on his belly and push himself with his hands to get going. He was SO proud of himself.

So yes, I was about 30 minutes later to work this morning. But the smile on Cam and Maggie's face as they played out in the cold and the snow was something that I would have missed if I hadn't just slowed down and let them have a few minutes to enjoy it. It's so easy to get caught up in what we think we need to do, or where we need to be next. I catch myself trying to push the kids along - like wanting to pick up Maggie and put her into her car seat when all she wants to do it climb in "myself!' and if I can take the 2 extra minutes that it take to let her do it? I let her do it.

Sure, not everyday am I going to be able to say yes to sledding at 8 AM on a Monday morning. But when I can? I will.

All about me.

2012-01-19T09:21:00.003-05:00

I have a pretty good opinion of myself. I think I'm a nice person, have nice friends, hold down a good job. I try my best to keep the house running smoothly, Aaron and I communicate well and are a great couple, and my kids seem happy and well adjusted. To do all this, I spend a lot of time working hard, fostering relationships and tending to my family's needs.

One thing that has gone 100% to the wayside is my health. I used to be fairly active - I'm sure that if you've read this long enough, you know that I did an Ironman triathlon in 2004. And it does seem like I get into a funk every 6 months or so... sitting on the couch and knitting or playing with my iPhone instead of getting off my butt and being active. But it's so easy to just let the exercise go. Be it that I had a hard day at work, or the kids have worn me down, or I want to meet up with friends or even that I am just being LAZY.

It's also a struggle for me because many of the things I used to love to do either take a long time (like bike rides or going to a pool and swimming) and are also pretty expensive (again swimming but also yoga). And this past year, we have been SUPER tight on money. I tried to join the inexpensive gym in town, but the timings of the classes just was NOT working out for me. I like to spin, and the spin classes are at 5:45 (I'm the only one home with the kids) 9:30 (prime time at work for meetings) and 6:30 (baby bedtime). Aaron is always supportive and tells me he can figure out a way so I can go, but I must admit getting up at the ass crack of dawn is not attractive to me, and baby bedtime is not to be missed. It's my favorite part of the day!

If you want something to succeed, you need to figure out what isn't working and find a way to fix it! I had been walking, but a combination of cold weather and laziness stopped that. But now I have good news. A friend of mine is opening up a yoga studio about 10 minutes from my house, and the pricing is very reasonable. She also put a lot of thought into the timings of classes, so there are many options that I will be able to go to (like a lunch time class for when I'm working at home) that I think this is just what I need to get back to exercising.

Things start up on Feb 1st, and I ordered myself a new yoga top to celebrate! I'll report back. But I really need to get into some sort of workout routine. I hope this is as great as I think it's going to be.

Long Weekend Leftovers

2012-01-17T09:52:00.005-05:00

We had an energy audit done on our house, and it's become very apparent that the 4 inches of insulation we have in our attic is grossly inadequate. In order to put more insulation in, Aaron needed to add baffles for the soffit vent first. Which is a bit of a job. This weekend Aaron was inspired to do it, so I happily took the kids on a bunch of adventures to allow him to get it done!

Why was I so excited? The insulation over the half of the bedroom that I sleep in was 'missing'. No wonder I'm so freaking cold! I'm super excited to be a little warmer in bed, especially now that winter has arrived (it's below 10 degrees at night now)

I should also add that is is freaking awesome that I have a husband that is able to do all this home improvement stuff himself. I can't even imagine how much it would cost to have someone else do it.

Saturday, I already had plans to go take the kids to a Kidtoons Movie (I had a free pass for Cameron that he got being in the birthday club).

One of Maggie's godmother's (she has two, I let Nora's godmother share her with the other godmother) lives close to the movie theater, and has two boys, 12 and 14. It's amazing how much fun BIG kids are to little kids - so we visited with them for a couple hours before the movie.

Then we went to the movies, which is always exciting because of the BIG SCREEN.

In the dark movie theater, Cam noticed that his light up shoes weren't lighting up all the way anymore. This is annoying to me, because I had already taken these shoes back to Stride Rite once because they stopped lighting up. We bought these shoes specifically because the toes light up and that is VERY EXCITING for a 3 year old. And of course, it's the toes that stop working. So Cam turns to me and tells me that we need to go to the store to get them fixed (just like last time). It kills me the memory this kids has.

I explained that we could do that, but we needed to drop Maggie off at home for a nap first.

On our way to the mall, Cam declares that he has his wallet so he will pay for a ride on the Round and Around (the little merry go round at the mall) and that he will then go to the indoor playground, and he will stay there while I get his new shoes. I explained that it was shoes FIRST then play, but inside I was laughing because he obviously had this all planned out.

And kudos to Stride Rite, they were very nice and accommodating on the return of Cam's shoes for the second time and assured me that they hadn't had any reports of the shoes being defective - so fingers crossed that these last more that the 2 weeks the other pairs have.

Sunday was a nice lazy day. Aaron and Cam got up early and went out to breakfast where they SAT AT THE COUNTER ON THE SPINNY CHAIRS (that was the report from Cam when he got home) while Maggie and I slept in until 8 AM.

Monday was the super big excitement day - I got up early, packed the kids in the car and went to Suzanne's house (while Aaron did more insulation). After visiting her kitties, we took the bus and then the subway to the Boston Children's Museum. We had a wonderful time. I think 3 is the perfect age for this place - Cam was totally into everything, Maggie was a bit nervous.

After lunch, we took the subway and the bus back to Suzanne's house with a quick stop at Henry Bear's Park (where I was thankfully able to get out with a fireman toy for Cam and a microphone for Maggie). Suzanne wanted my help to pick out a toy for her nephew who is turning two. My first suggestion was the Car Carrier from Melissa and Doug - but they didn't have that, so of course, I said a Bruder truck. It was a little dicey getting out of there, Cam realized that he wasn't taking home a new Bruder truck, he was trying to tell me that he didn't have THIS ONE... but I talked him down with the fireman. Phew.

Then we were back at Suzanne's, and Cam didn't want to leave. At all. So I left a car seat there, and left. Maggie was a little sad to be leaving Suzanne, but happily sung to me all the way home. I was nervous that Cam would realize that I wasn't there and be upset, but he was fine. Which is nice! I love it that Cam has another grownup that he is perfectly happy with.

Cam stayed at Suzanne's for about three hours and then came home and he was the boy on the edge. He was SO overtired and overstimulated that you could tell anything was going to make him cry. He was in bed and completely passed out by 7. Maggie, on the other hand, had a great nap and was up and playing in her crib until 9. Sigh.

But, this morning it snowed a few inches so both kids dove out of bed and ran downstairs to play in the snow. A few inches is fine with me - I was able to get a lot of the snow off the driveway too, and we still made it to daycare and work just fine.

I'm back at work today, and working full time is going to be relaxing after this weekend!

The excitement of snow

2012-01-12T09:23:00.003-05:00

Living in New England, we prep for winter. By November, if you don't have snow pants, snow boots, hat and gloves you are going to get screwed. It's going to snow. Your kids are going to wake up and want to play and you won't be prepared. Of course, this year, it snowed right before Halloween, and it hasn't snowed since.

This morning, Cam crawled into bed with me and we had our snuggle time waiting for Maggie to wake up. This is our new daily thing... Cam wakes up around 6:30 and comes into our room, climbs into bed, gets under the covers and we watch Micky Mouse Clubhouse. Maggie usually doesn't wake up until at least 7:30, so Cam and I get a little bit of alone time. Which usually ends in tears because Mean Mommy makes him get up and get dressed eventually.

But this morning? I told him to get up and look out the window.

Huge intake of breath, and then a solid 20 minutes of him telling me to was snowing and that he needed his snow boots and a sweater and a jacket because he was going to go outside and shovel and "MOMMY YOU NEED TO WAKE UP MAGGIE but first I have to brush my teeth in YOUR BATHROOM and then I go get dressed with my sweater and socks but not my new boots I need my snow boots....."

I think you get the idea. In the 5 minutes it took me to wake Maggie up and get her dressed, Cam was in the basement with his snow boots on. The minute I opened the garage door, he was out and shoveling.
Maggie was more excited to be in her snowshoes... but we obviously need to get a snow shovel for 'myself' so she can get in on the exciting shoveling. We were a bit late getting out of the house this morning, but it was worth it for how excited the two of them were.

My Super Kids

2012-01-10T09:22:00.002-05:00

The cape obsession continues. I was feeling like Maggie was left out in the whole cape thing - so when I bought the knit fabric for the BatCam shirt, I also bought some 'standalone cape' material (also in hope that the cape wouldn't get dirty like the shirt version, and we wouldn't have to wait for laundry to wear it again). I got 3/4 a yard of a slippery knit fabric, and follow this tutorial loosely. I say loosely because I made mine smaller (as my kids are smaller) and I mostly used the great idea she had of just cutting out a big triangle instead of doing the ties separately. These were nice and quick to make. So easy, in fact, that I'm considering making them for Cam's whole preschool class so that they can play together.

I also tried to make Super Hero Cuffs, but they just were too small and I used Velcro for attaching, and I think that is too hard for the kids to do with one hand - so I'm re-thinking. I'll report back.

Rather Awesome

2012-01-06T11:46:00.003-05:00

After getting over the whole omgmydaughterisinanambulanceandbeinghospitalized this week has left me feeling like a pretty great mom. First, I made that epic shirt for Cam, and then - I made Maggie's day.

We were home together on Tuesday because she still needed a nebulizer treatment during the day. All weekend she had been asking to paint, and we'd been distracting her because its a HUGE mess (clothes, house, etc). But she loves it so much is was feeling guilty that I wasn't just letting her do it. Then I had a light bulb moment.

Paint naked in the TUB! She loved it, and clean up was super easy. I think that all painting will occur in the tub from now on.

BatCam!

2012-01-05T09:48:00.004-05:00

For Christmas, Cam got an awesome shirt from the Gap. It's a Superman shirt, but attached to the back, with Velcro, is a cape. It's a simple cape made from knit material with the Superman logo printed on it.

Cam LOVES this shirt. He wants to wear it every day. When he is wearing it, he runs around the house fighting fires (we can't get 100% away from the fireman/firetruck obsession, you know) as a SUPERHERO! Problem is, it's only one shirt. And I don't do laundry every day. Being as I am not a superhero expert, I turned to Aaron and asked what other super heroes wear capes. He looked at me like I was stupid and said "Batman".

There couldn't be an easier thing to do with freezer paper stencils than a Batman logo! So I went and bought some black jersey (I got a half yard). I cut out the cape and did a little hem around all side with a zigzag stitch, added Velcro - did the painting and....

Voila! BatCam!

That is Cam's Superhero face, of course.

And here is the back: I'm SO proud of this thing it's a little ridiculous. And it took me all of an hour to make it. Nice.

Well, that was a week.

2012-01-01T14:03:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas. I could report on all of the wonderful fun, but I'm sure it's similar to many other Christmas's out there. We saw family, had much excitement about Santa, ate a lot of good food and enjoyed our family.

I had the whole week off of work, sent the kids to daycare for 3 days so I could get various thing done around the house - but Thursday I took the kids on a big adventure. Maggie got to go to the New England Aquarium for the first time, while Cam went to the Museum of Science with Suzanne. Both kids had a huge blast, and we then met Daddy for pizza lunch at work.

Maggie was acting a bit sicker than just a cold Thursday, but I didn't think much of it. She even woke up twice on Thursday night - but Aaron went in, soothed her and all was fine. Aaron took Friday off work and let me sleep in (HUGE LUXURY. He gets up with the kids on the weekends, but there is no sleeping once they wake up, trust me) and took the kids to daycare. We had a day of Aaron and Cece time planned, when I got the call from daycare that Maggie had a fever of 102. I went and picked her up, gave her some Tylenol and put her to nap. I did call the doc, and got her an appointment at 3:20, because I figured she had and ear infection.

She woke up from her nap in hysterics, and by the time I got her to the doc, her breathing was shallow and she was really hot. They took her fever and it was up to 104. At this point, I had everyone in our office. She low low blood oxygen, and they ended up sending her (and me, of course) to the hospital in an ambulance. I was a bit of a wreck at this point (inside more than outside). Aaron met us at the ER and the look of panic in his eyes sent me over the edge. They were figuring it was pneumonia - but a chest x-ray ruled that out. They also rules out RSV (eventually) but giving her a nebulizer treatment helped significantly. So we were admitted overnight. And wow. Talk about PTSD.

We were in the room next to the room that Maggie was in for the 3 days after Nora's death when they had her on IV antibiotics. It's a small hospital, so everyone of course remembered us. I didn't sleep that whole night (the nurses were in and our of the room every freaking hour - checking her temp, giving breathing treatments, blah blah blah), but Maggie woke up totally back to her normal self on Saturday morning - her fever was down to normal and she just looked so much better. In the end, they decided it was Brochiolitis. We watched Elmo and waited until she passed all their tests to send us home.

But seriously. I didn't need that shock to my heart this week!

Obviously, we didn't do anything super exciting for New Years eve. We had planned to go to a New Year's eve playdate with a bunch of our friends, but bagged that. With the stress and the lack of sleep I totally passed out at 9 - and we had to wake up every 4 hours to give Maggie her nebulizer treatment, so Aaron and I mumbled Happy New Year to each other before we collapsed into bed after that at 1 AM.

Good times. Wishing everyone a healthy and happy (and incident free) 2012!

Friday night leftovers

2011-12-23T09:03:00.003-05:00

Risking sounding like a broken record - but seriously. Nothing is more fun than Christmas-time with my kids. I love it.

Last night, we watched the Polar Express. Cam LOVED it. A train AND Santa. It couldn't get any better. I was nervous for a bit, with the whole doubting Santa stuff - but once they got to the North Pole? It answered all of Cam's questions about where the Elf goes every night.

Last night, our dog, Henry, was laying in Maggie's room while I read her bedtime stories. He didn't get up and leave when I left and closed the door. About 10 minutes later I was looking for him, and I realized he was in Maggie's room. I opened the door and he is sitting next to her crib, and Maggie is petting him through the bars. The minute the door opened, he sprinted out - and then Maggie cried for 'Enry! for a good 20 minutes.

I volunteered to help as a 'costumer' for the 'Nativity in the Trunk' service at church. Turns out that means I needed to iron like 50 costumes. God. Damn. It. So I insisted we turn it into a ironing party, and I had two other women at my house last night ironing all the damn costumes. When will I learn?

My mother-in-law arrives today. I told Cam about it, and he said 'I'm GB's best friend.' I doubt my son could be any cuter.

We are going to the Rockettes this afternoon!

In true Maggie style, she insists on putting her jacket on MYSELF each morning. This is the result if I don't set it up for her to flip:

Pictures

2011-12-21T10:20:00.006-05:00

A picture's worth a thousand words, right? So these will help explain what I was trying to talk about yesterday!

Here is Cam helping Aaron put the lights on the tree:
This is a picture of Maggie painting those hand print ornaments I was telling you all about the other day. Cam painted one (both kids made 5). Maggie stayed and painted all 5, and wanted to do more. Makes me think that the present that my mom is getting her (the easel) is going to be a HUGE hit.

One of my friends holds an annual gingerbread house making party. Cam is finally old enough to go, and he had a BLAST!

He wanted to only put the orange candies on his house. At least the kid is consistent.

Final picture? Aaron and I took the kids to the mall, and after walking around for 30 minutes, I notice that Maggie has a candy cane stuck to her sweatshirt.

She is completely obsessed with the candy canes on the Christmas tree, and sneaks them at any opportunity. Aaron and I split up at the mall - he took Cam, I took Maggie. Cam and Aaron managed to get a bunch of presents, Maggie and I got a smoothie. Sigh.

Blessed

2011-12-20T09:42:00.002-05:00

I haven't been posting a lot because I've been spending a lot of time just enjoying our life. I know that many people hate this season, and I get it. I really do. I've had more than a few things go wrong in this December and pretty much every December for the past 5 years. I think people would feel that I was totally justified if I just stayed in bed and protested all the holiday celebrations.

But that isn't how I'm wired. I just can't help but look at what I DO have and just revel in it. I have a pretty amazing husband who is the best father to two wonderful children. This year, Cam is really starting to get the concept of Santa. It is beyond cute to watch them run around the house looking for the Elf every morning (Maggie wants to touch the elf SO BADLY. Her little body quivers when it's somewhat close. And she starts repeating Elf. Magic! MAGIC!). The fun of watching Christmas movies with them for the first time (Cam was terrified of the Abominable Snowman in the Rudolph movie).

And this year, for the first time in a while, I've been able to really plan and get perfect presents for everyone. I don't have a million dollars, but I do have enough to be able to buy things that I have been wanting to get for a while. Which is fun. And, people may not even believe this, but we are excited to have both Aaron's mother and my mother visit for Christmas. I'm going to have company for almost 5 days, and I'm excited about it. I've even ordered special cuts of meat from the butcher for all our family dinners on the 23rd and 24th.

So yes, this is a hard season. Expectations are high. People are stressed. But I somehow am just enjoying the great life and family that I have.

Handprints

2011-12-15T10:35:00.004-05:00

Last night, I was home alone with the gang. Aaron had to work late. So I thought I could engage the kids with making those hand print ornaments. But I had this feeling that it was going to be a huge failure. And it was headed that way -Maggie was VERY crabby when I picked her up from daycare.

But I fed them pancakes with syrup, and all of a sudden I had happy kids! Behold, the power of sugar.

I had made the dough in advance, but I'm sure the kids would have loved being involved in measuring the dough. Instead of rolling the dough out with a rolling pin, I just squished it evenly with my palm. Worked out great. I wish I had done this sooner with Cam, as his prints are the size of small dinner plates!

I followed this recipe, but found that I needed more water to make it feel like dough. I'm planning on letting the kids paint them with their favorite colors and then I'll tidy them up with white paint highlighting the actual hand prints. The kids LOVED pushing their hands into the dough. If they pushed too hard and made a hole, I would just add a little extra dough and blend it in with some water. They turned out pretty well! Cam's were so big they were still a little bit soft when they were done, but I didn't want to risk them getting burned/brown so I figured a little soft is fine. Also - I read another blog who made these, and she recommended two holes vs one for stability since these are heavy.

Fun, quick project!

Christmasy Stuff

2011-12-14T14:20:00.004-05:00

Now that the birthday's are over, and the sad event of putting Abby down is over (augh) I'm trying to do a few fun Christmas things with the kids.

Every night, we take a treat from the Advent Mittens. I just love how cute those damn things are. I made two more sets as Christmas presents for close friends this year.

We went and cut down our own Christmas tree - which is SO much fun. I love it because it's a local town's conservation land. A resident of the town had a Christmas tree farm, and he got sick, and the trees weren't tended for a long time. After he died, he gave the land to the town. So - you go and pick out these 30 foot trees, but only the top 6-8 feet is a groomed tree. But they are not SUPER full trees, which I like better.

Then we decorated the tree, which was pretty funny - because both Maggie and Cameron insisted on putting all their ornaments on the same branch, so the tree isn't decorated evenly. Which kills me a little but I leave it.

We are also doing Elf on the Shelf - and I forget to move the damn thing every single night. Sigh. But they love finding it each morning.

I ordered our Christmas cards from Tiny Prints. I was sorely tempted to just let them address and send each one, but that will be this weekend's activity. Having the tree up and the cards ordered made me feel like a was SUPER MOM. Which is somewhat sad, I know.

Yesterday, on the suggestion of Jen, we did a little Candy Cane hunt... but I thought it would be super smart to do it at our Aunt's house, because they have a lighted, covered porch. The kids were more excited to go inside and see everyone than to play outside.

Tonight I'm going to make ornaments with the kids - hopefully handprints. That will be a HUGE hit with the grandparents.

Friday Cam and I are going to a gingerbread house making party.

On the 23rd, we are going to see the Rockettes! I was able to find 'cheap' seats - and he is going to love it!

I've also got all the presents done for the kids. They both got this scooter, Cam is getting this Hot Wheels Garage and Maggie is getting an easel. I'm sure more than a few things will come in from the Grandparents, but it feels good to be done.

Abby

2011-12-10T13:34:00.001-05:00

Rest in peace, dog of my heart.

Tell Nora you like your tummy rubbed.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-12-09T08:58:00.002-05:00

Been a long time since I've done leftovers - so I've got a bunch!

I just need to state that toddlers/pre-schoolers are awesome. Yes, they have their faults (pooping in their pants, tantrums) but in general, they are awesome. The smallest thing is AMAZING. Like tomorrow morning, we are going to a friends' house for breakfast - and they have set up their train tracks all around the downstairs. I can't even tell you how this is going to blow Cam and Maggie's minds.

I have to report that my pushing for us eating dinner together, in the dining room, has officially paid off. Weds night, we went to our Aunt's house for a 65th birthday party. Both of my children sat at the table, ate in a civilised fashion, and asked to be excused. All the adults (including Aaron and I) were suitably impressed.

We are going to cut down our Christmas tree tomorrow - I'm excited! I think the gang is going to have a blast picking it out and decorating it.

My older dog is declining rapidly. It's sad. I'm kind of hoping that she falls asleep and just doesn't wake up - but that seems unlikely. So we are talking about our options, and they all pretty much end the same way. Which makes me sad.

I had this super awesome idea of taking Cam to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Then I went to buy tickets. Cheapest are $111 a seat. Super awesome idea no longer.

I haven't ordered my Christmas cards yet. I don't even have a good picture. Hoping this weekend I can get that taken care of.

I'm done with all of my planned homemade presents. I rock.

The party!

2011-12-08T09:06:00.002-05:00

I don't even know where to begin, but the kid's birthday was a HUGE success. If I just start with the presents, Maggie won't stop playing with her tea set, and my mom got her this super fun Ice Cream Set that they play with every night. And the car thing Aaron got? Cam wakes up early in the morning to play with it. Huge huge huge success.* The dolls I made, while cute, I think are a bit advanced for the kids - and the hair is getting pulled out. So I think I'm putting them up on a shelf and buying Maggie a Baby Stella for Christmas. But Maggie also received a cradle, and that is a HUGE hit. Both kids spend a lot of time putting the 'babies' to bed (which is every stuffed animal and doll in the area).

But the best part was the party. As you all know, I was SUPER nervous about the whole thing. It was just perfect. First, Cam was just so excited that Fellowship Hall, where we go for coffee hour after church, was decorated and set up just for him (it was lost on him that this was a joint party). There was a bounce house (a small one - perfect size for 4 pre-schoolers), tunnels for the kids to crawl around in, a table where the kids decorated a banner with crayons and markers, and another table where they made drums/noise makers (basically decorated coffee tins with rocks in them - the kids LOVED it). And even someone making balloon animals. The kids ran from place to place - screaming and laughing and having an absolute blast. And, since I didn't have to organize anything, I could just sit back and watch and enjoy.

About an hour in, they shut down the bounce house and had the kids sit still for some music (which was the cutest thing ever) and then had cake. Both of my kids had SO much fun, but the other parents wouldn't stop commenting on what a blast it was either. Just a perfect day all around.

Sunday we went to church. It was a rough day, as the 4th is the anniversary of Nora's death - but we stood up at the joy and concern time and talked about how this is a hard time for our family - with the joys of the birthdays and the sorrows of the anniversary... but that many people in that room helped us get through. It's been really hard for Aaron to go back to church - he always remembers Nora's service when he goes there - but the awesome birthday party I think helped him turn a corner. Which is nice too.

And Monday? Cam's actual birthday? We both took a half day off work and brought both kids to the Museum of Science. Cam was SO excited. It's still a bit old for Maggie, but she had a blast too. Then they got to bring Happy Meals for lunch at school, and ended the day with all our neighbors coming over for birthday cake.

Only funny thing is that when Cam woke up on Tuesday, he was pretty upset that his birthday was over. But he got over it.

* There are some issues with the build a road. The cars are battery operated and don't stop. The gearing is super high on the car - Aaron says that the motor and the wheels are probably directly connected - so you burn a battery within an hour of use. If you just let that go, it's a really really really fun toy.

Freezer Paper Tutorial

2011-12-02T12:37:00.007-05:00

I know there are plenty of tutorials out there for this, but SOMEONE nagged me, and I was making more anyway - so here it is.

I've made a bunch of tee-shirts for the kids with freezer paper stencils. I like doing this mostly because I get sick of the sicky sweet saying and pictures that are on most toddlers clothes (Mommy's Little Angel! 2 CUTE! blah blah blah). Also, I like to be able to get some shirts in more unusual colors - surprisingly, my kids aren't obsessed with pink and blue. Maggie loves purple and Cam is always telling me 'Orange. Dat is my FAVORITE color.'

First, I find cheap, plain tee-shirts. I get mine here. Then, figure out what designs you want to do. You want a VERY basic shapes. I would recommend one color (at least at first). I found this fun firetruck - so that is what I used. I've also done fairies, scull and cross-bones, trucks, airplanes. Just whatever your kid is into.

Remember that you need to cut out the area where the paint will go. In the above picture, I need to block out all the red areas.

The first step is to get the design onto freezer paper and cut it out with an exacto knife on a cutting mat. You can either tape the picture to the freezer paper and cut through two layers (which is what I did for this one) or do the extra step and trace the design onto the freezer paper. This is easier for cutting, but when you don't have a light box for tracing, I find it easier to just cut through the two pieces.

See all those little pieces? Keep track of those. Also notice that on the top of the firetruck, there are a couple places where I ripped the freezer paper. No worries. First, take the freezer paper and center it on your fabric, shiny side facing the fabric. Then, take an iron on the cotton setting, no steam, and first get the big piece stuck on. Try to stick any torn pieces close together. If that doesn't work, you can also use masking tape. And then add the tiny little pieces bit by bit.

If you look closely at the above picture, you can see that I lost the little headlight circles and needed to use a small amount of masking tape to fix the top of the firetruck.

Then, put another piece of freezer paper in the middle of the shirt (to be sure the paint doesn't bleed through to the back). I use this cheap paint from Joanne's and it held up to a whole summer of washes. I also use the cheapest foam brushes I can find.
Put a thin layer of paint on. I dab it on rather than brush - so I don't accidentally lift up the freezer paper.

I let it sit for about 30 minutes and then do another thin layer. DO NOT go crazy and do super thick layers - it cracks and looks bad. Trust me.

Wait at least a hour (if it's a shirt I really care about, I'll wait overnight) and peel off the freezer paper:

Super fun, right?

And - to show you what a freak I am - I made Cam a new firetruck shirt for his birthday:

And decided his doll needed one that matched.

Help. Me.

Let's talk toys.

2011-12-01T10:14:00.004-05:00

I know I have a mix of stay-at-home and working moms that read here, so I have a question. What is your toy 'strategy'? When we first got ready to have kids, I had this vision that I would have all natural toys, with NO awful sounds or batteries required. I certainly wouldn't have a ton of toys - just the good, basic stuff.

Then I gave birth. And friends and family started buying stuff and giving hand-me-downs. THEN I found out I was pregnant with twins, and therefore wouldn't be able to afford daycare, so I started picking up anything that looked fun, so the kids would have things to play with all day with the nanny. And, of course, I found out just how much babies love LOUD toys. So for about 2 years, our living room had loads of toys and many of them played music or whatever. As the kids have been growing out of them (like this was a big fav as was this) I've been giving them away or storing them for my grandkids.

Since both kids spend all day in daycare, we have a very small window of playtime. At night, they get home at 5, they maybe play for 20 minutes or so while we get dinner ready. The weekends is the only time they REALLY play at home - and if the weather is nice, we are outside as much as possible. I feel like we can have a much smaller amount of toys. I also see that both kids are only playing with a few select toys. They play with the play kitchen, the trains, and blocks. Maggie plays with her dolls and Cam plays with his firetrucks. I decided to just focus on those toys, and get good quality stuff, and throw away the crap. Over the past few days, I've gotten rid of any toys that they never play with or are broken. I threw away some plastic crap play food that I'm going to replace with a few sets of Melissa and Doug play food. Cam has a huge amount of firetruck toys - and many he found at tag sales or older kids have given him - which means that they are broken or missing pieces. I threw those firetrucks away. I'm a little nervous that he is going to freak out when he notices (they are on the curb and today is trash pickup).

What do you all have? Am I making a mistake by severely paring down our toys? I just feel like we have piles and piles of toys, and the kids play with maybe 10% of them. So my theory is to replace them many with a few, high quality things.

Bittersweet

2011-11-29T09:13:00.008-05:00

Last night, after the kids went to bed, I ran to the store to get balloons, an ice cream cake and wrapping paper. Aaron brought the dollhouse up, and we got everything ready for the birthday girl. I was SO excited, I wanted to run up and wake her up right then. But I didn't. I made her a sweet birthday bow* instead.

I do want to get the tradition going that you wake up in the morning and have your presents waiting. That is what my mom did and I loved waking up and running to see my wrapped present at my place on the kitchen table. Although trying to get everyone out the door this morning after opening presents and playing with balloons was a bit of a challenge.

Anyway. It's become apparent over the past few months that Maggie needs 'girl' toys. She was very happy playing with trains and trucks, but if we went to a place that had dolls or a dollhouse, Maggie was totally into playing with that. So it was our mission to give Maggie some of toys I enjoyed playing with as a little girl. A dollhouse, a doll and tea set. I'm happy to report that she seems to love all three. This morning, the tea set was the biggest hit. I got this one - because it's wood and pretty much unbreakable.

She didn't pay much attention to the doll, but did give her some tea (and see the cute bow? I made that).

And when we called GB (that is what they call Aaron's mother) Maggie was super excited to show her the dollhouse on face time. And she loved the Elmo balloon!

I think it all was a little overwhelming this morning, but she was a very happy girl.

For me, today is a bittersweet. I don't know about other Mamas but on my kids' birthdays, I think about the day they were born. And for Maggie - that is hard for me. I remember the joy I had with the two girls. I think about holding both her and Nora. And our blissful days in the hospital together. I also have to admit that the further I get from it, the less painful it is. I'm not looking at Maggie and wondering what Nora would be doing now. I think of Nora as a baby, and Maggie is just NOT a baby anymore. Tonight, I think I will let a balloon go up to heaven and let Nora know we are thinking of her.

* I post the link for this bow because last night I couldn't find it. So poor Jen got an email and a twitter freak out to help me find the directions. She is a rock star and helped me find it.

Cute

2011-11-28T13:26:00.003-05:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving break. The kids were real troopers and were perfect the whole trip. There was a bit more vomit in the mix than I would have liked (Cam got seasick on the ferry ride Thanksgiving day and I got food poisoning on Saturday) but those were the only issues. Both kids were great all weekend - going with the flow and getting a few early birthday present was very exciting for both of them. Aaron's grandmother even took the kids to the toy store and let them pick out their own birthday presents - and were really great. She expected a bit of a meltdown - but Cam picked out a firetruck backpack and Maggie found some dollhouse furniture (I pushed her in that direction). I love it when they impress their great-grandmother.

We got home Saturday afternoon, and just relaxed on Sunday (Aaron let me sleep in after throwing up late into the night). We had a play date with some of Cam's friends (ones that won't be able to go to the birthday party next weekend) and I just have to tell the cutest story. The kids all play together wonderfully. We ate dinner, and the grownups stayed in the dining room while the kids were in the living room playing. Things started to get quiet, so I got up to clear plates and see what was going on. Cam had managed to get the play-doh out of the closet, and all four kids were happily sitting around the kitchen table with it. They had divided the play-doh amongst everyone and were having a blast! It was super cute.

The Crazy Time

2011-11-22T10:02:00.005-05:00

This time of year is crazy for us as a family. For the past 4 years, at least. 4 years ago, I was in my first IVF cycle, and in the middle of miscarrying during Thanksgiving. 3 years ago I was heavily pregnant with Cam, and 2 years ago heavily pregnant with Maggie and Nora. Last year I was freaking out about the combo of birthday's and the anniversary of Nora's death.

So this year is the first year in a very long time that we are traveling for Thanksgiving, and the first year that I feel like things are somewhat under control. Of course, couldn't be totally smooth sailing, as my older dog is too fragile to leave at home, so we are bringing 2 toddlers and 2 dogs with us on Thanksgiving, which will add a nice layer of stress..... but in general, this is the calmest Thanksgiving time we've had in a long time.

I went away this past weekend with my girlfriends and spent a LOT of time crafting, and made two Waldorf Dolls - one for Cam and one for Maggie. Maggie's is totally done, I even made it a sweet little outfit. Cam's needs clothes - and one of my buddies mentioned I should give it a firefighter outfit. So I ordered one from build-a-bear (the doll is 16 inches, just like the bears, so I'm hoping it works). I'll post pictures when they are both clothed, lol. I also made a bunch of cute little Christmas tree wall hangings, so I'm almost done with my homemade Christmas gifts! And I got home to find that Aaron had finished up Maggie's dollhouse. Check it out:
Cool, right? If you can believe it, Aaron's mom found this at the Take it or Leave it at Nantucket's dump. It was in rough shape, covered in crayon marks and stickers and the bottom deck had been chewed by a dog. But Aaron really did a great job of restoring it, and I know Maggie will love it. It's got two fun decks/porches and the doors slide back and forth in the front - and the sides and back are totally open. A super fun dollhouse and it was basically free - just sweat equity.

And the birthday party is also under control. I decided that a party from 10-12 didn't need to serve lunch, so it's going to be super easy for me. They have a bunch of activities planned - decorating a birthday banner, making a drum, having someone come with a guitar and sing, an obstacle course, and winding up with a parade! It's going to be a heck of a lot more fun than I would have managed to pull off!

So now, just to survive the next 2 weeks without a major breakdown, and we are good. Deep breath.

Got a cute baby?

2011-11-18T10:13:00.000-05:00

My buddy Jen got me into Tiny Prints. I contacted them after winning free holiday cards on her site, and they told me about a fun contest that everyone can enter.

Tiny Prints is having a Talent Search Contest - and you can enter for a chance to win the grand prize of $1,000 cash, plus a $500 Tiny Prints gift certificate, what a perfect prize just in time for the Holiday season!

· Cutest Baby (From ages of 0-24 months)
· Cutest Kid (From ages of 25 months - 10 years old)
· Cutest Family
· Cutest Couple
· Cutest Pet & Owner

You can enter the Tiny Print Talent Search Contest via Facebook or on our website. For Official Rules, click here.

I admit that for letting you know about this contest, I'm getting MORE free cards (25 personalized thank you cards). They are so cute, I couldn't resist.

Thursday Morning Leftovers

2011-11-17T09:33:00.003-05:00

I'm going away with my girlfriends this weekend - so I'm doing my leftover post a day early. Plus tomorrow I'll be telling you guys all about a Tiny Print contest, so get ready for that.

My older dog has been acting strange for about 2 months. Peeing in the house when we were gone (to the point of RUINING an expensive rug) and losing a lot of weight. Because I can't deal with anything bad happening right now, I was avoiding taking her to the vet (dumb I know). This weekend was the last straw - we have been crating her so she doesn't pee overnight, and she was sitting in her crate barking ALL. NIGHT. LONG. For two nights straight. I took her to the vet, nothing obvious. So I've been nervous all week that it was going to be something awful like cancer. And yesterday the blood work came back that she has hypothyroid. Totally treatable. With inexpensive pills! What a relief!

Because I act like I'll be OK if something happens to her - but Abby is my original baby. She was with me when I was single and lonely. She loved Aaron the second she met him. She is my girl.

Nightime has been a huge cry-fest with Cam lately. And then I realized I'd gotten out of the habit of giving him choices. We used to do this a lot - "Do you want to put your PJs on now and play with blocks? Or put your PJs on now and go to bed? " - he would happily choose PJs and then blocks and run to his room to put on PJs. But lately, we've been saying - go put on your PJs! And then it escalated from there. I was getting annoyed with this (and Aaron, who always resorts to yelling) and then realized what was happening. So I started with the 2 acceptable choices, and last night was a breeze. Duh.

I'm thinking of all of these great handmade gift ideas for the holidays - and then I do the math. Why didn't I start sooner? sigh

Speaking of holidays. I'm planning on starting Elf on A Shelf this year. Should I start when we get home from Thanksgiving? Or wait until after Cam's birthday (which is the 5th). I'm leaning towards after the birthday, but then we'll be starting the advent calender on the 1st, so would think we could start the elf then too?

Work is super stressful right now. One of the woman that I started with (over 11 years ago) got laid off yesterday, and moral is just low in general. I think I'm ok (jobwise), but the stress stays.

Which is why I'm looking forward to this weekend! Staying in a B&B with a bunch of my girlfriends, crafting, sewing and gossiping from Friday-Sunday. Hurrah!

Children's books

2011-11-14T19:54:00.002-05:00

We have a lot of books in our house. At night, we read a couple books before bed. And, if you are the first baby up, sometimes I'll read a couple books waiting for the other one to wake up. Maggie's very favorites are Dear Zoo and Gossie. I could recite them to you without even cracking the cover.

But here is the thing. Gossie wears her bright red boots every day, right? She wears them when she eats, she wears she sleeps - but then, one morning she wakes up and she can't find her boots.

Doesn't she wear them when she sleeps!?!

It's a short book. Seems like an easy detail. Drives me crazy. And Maggie insists on reading it. Every day.

Why I love you guys

2011-11-10T14:18:00.007-05:00

Heather hit it right on the head. Of COURSE paging through invitation after invitation for joint birthday parties for TWINS was an issue. I didn't even think of it.

Every day I'm reminded somehow of our loss. Maybe it's just walking into Maggie's room and seeing the holes in the wall where Nora's name hung over her crib. Or last night, when I was trying to soothe a sad baby girl who couldn't stop coughing - sitting in the chair in her room often reminds me of the one night they were home, and I was sitting in that chair giving them both a bottle at the same time. We got this nice big chair just so we could do that. But now it's to the point wher it's a little pain, a small thing, and I move on with my day. I rarely register when the reminders are more frequent that it may affect my mood. And now that Heather pointed it out - I see that she is totally right.

Sigh. Moving onward and upward! Want to see the final proof of the birthday card?

Perfect, right? I love it. Exactly what I was thinking. Hurrah!

One funny story, as I ordered this, I copied Aaron on the wording, to make sure it was correct. He noticed that I put "Maggie is turning 1". Guess I'm not ready for my little girl to grow up!

Funk

2011-11-08T11:57:00.004-05:00

I'm in a funk.. I blame it mostly on an awful cold that I've had. A cold totally kicks my butt. Add in a random financial stress we weren't expecting and being super busy at work... blech. I'm working on shaking out of it, but that is why the lack of posting.

This month is already flying by! I can't believe we are almost in mid-November! First thing I need to do is to get the kids birthday party invites and send them out. I picked these invites from Etsy. It's surprisingly hard to get good invites for a joint birthday party for non-twins. My invite is going to really similar except with orange and purple as the colors. I am happy to report that the actual party is going to be the way I envisioned it - pretty low key but in the hall as I expected.

For birthday presents, I'm almost ready to start making Maggie's doll. I'm a little nervous I waited to long, as she is kind of getting attached to a different baby doll that was laying around the house - but here is the progress I made on my practice doll:

I would definitely do the hair differently, and do better on the face shaping - but I was really happy with how cute the face looks! I was really nervous about the face embroidery, but wasn't any where near as hard as I thought it would be. The eyes may need to be a little closer together, but all in all - cute!

Aaron is working on refinishing a dollhouse for her, and the other big present, which I'm not sure will be for her birthday or Christmas, is a child sized rocking chair that Aaron refinished and our Aunt did needlepoint covers for the cushions. Just this week I dropped it off with someone to get it all put together - so I may have done that too late for her birthday.

Cam is another story. Aaron did that whole firehouse bed, so I'm kind of at a loss for what else he even NEEDS for his birthday. Aaron is thinking some sort of race track, but we have a little bit of time to figure it out. Worse case, we'll save some of the presents he gets from family and friends at the party (which is on the 3rd) for him to open on on his actual birthday (the 5th).

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-11-04T10:50:00.002-04:00

Last night, I went and used a groupon for an 80 minute massage. Very much needed.

I met a friend at a Super Walmart after the massage. Two things on this. First - how convenient is Super Walmart! You can get groceries, home stuff, clothes, go to the bank, get your hair done, and your nails done all in the same place. BUT. Wow. Now I understand why people protest them. Small business killer.

Related to the above, I also got a pedicure last night. First one in a few months. So nice.

Tonight is the rescheduled Halloween. My kids are crazy excited.

Aaron is away this weekend, so my kids favorite adult friend is coming Saturday. Suzanne is my ace in the hole for anytime Aaron goes away. They could care less that Daddy is away if SUZANNE is here. When I'm away, Aaron never asks for help., It's like he wants to prove that he can do it alone. Me? I'm all about getting reinforcements. Plus, after the kids go to bed, I have a buddy to hang out with. We'll all have a blast.

I'm totally obsessed with hair clip making. I blame it all on Jen. BUt that is a post for another day. I will say that it was picture day at school yesterday, and I stayed up late making Maggie the perfect bows to match her sweater.

And we are taking a break from potty training. Maggie was doing great 80% of the time, but the 20% was ending in tears (for both us us). I'm not dealing with that.

Warm

2011-11-01T16:22:00.002-04:00

Last night, we got home from daycare's Halloween party (and the only Halloween my kids got. The town canceled Halloween because there are so many down power lines and power outages in town. I'm hoping they reschedule). I was crabby. Aaron was crabby. The kids were losing a nut. It's been a rough couple of days. The people we were borrowing the generator from wanted it back, so I was bracing for another night of cold and dark.

And then the lights turned on. And all of a sudden, everyone was happy again. It's sad how miserable I was after only about 48 hours without power. The house was a mess with no water to be able to clean anything. Maggie's potty training isn't going super great, so I had a lot of laundry to deal with too. The minute the power came on, I started cleaning. I've never been so happy to have warm, running water!

Aaron had already setup for a fire in fireplace, so we sat downstairs in the nice, warm living room and watched TV. And were happy. And then went to bed.

It's the little things.

Snoween

2011-10-31T09:14:00.006-04:00

It snowed on Saturday night. Not a HUGE amount - but a lot for this time of year. It was about 6 heavy inches. There are downed trees everywhere, leading to power outages (including our house). Cam and Maggie were VERY excited about the snow. Cam was out with his shovel helping me knock the snow off the trees:

We only lost one tree, a dogwood that was having issues to begin with, but Nora's tree was untouched. Thank god. Maggie had a blast watching Aaron use the snow blower. She was running around saying 'I Shovel!'

Thankfully, our Aunt who lives 3 miles away did have power, so the kids and I camped out there while Aaron cleaned up our house and friends around the street. He even managed to borrow a generator and get our house up to 64 degrees last night so we could sleep at home.

Which was nice.

But. I'm still sick with that damn cold (wondering if it's maybe broncitsis at this point) and by the end of the day yesterday fed up with Aaron helping everyone except ME. Which is bitchy and maybe a bit unreasonable, considering I was at a place where we had heat and TV - but hey. Aren't I allowed? I couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about what the heck I would do if daycare didn't have power. Because work is a bit of a disaster, and I really can't afford to be out. I had this crazy plan to bring the kids into the office with me - it would have been a disaster, I bet.

Maggie woke up in a panic this morning (it was super dark and quiet in her room, she usually sleeps with white noise and a night light), so I pulled her into bed with me and she cuddled with me for about 45 minutes. I called daycare, and they were open - so at least that was a good thing. Trying to get two kids dressed and out the door in the pitch black wasn't the most fun. Plus I had to get them set for Halloween too, which I at least remembered at the last minute.

Then, I stopped to get coffee, and they only could give me a small. They were out of medium and large cups. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

Friday Leftovers

2011-10-28T09:50:00.002-04:00

Maggie is potty training. I just went for it. We are using the cotton training pants. She isn't having any accidents - she's only had one pee and one poop accident. But she goes to the potty every 30 minutes. It's kind of funny.

Work has been awful this week - big production problem kept me online all the time.

The first time they called me with the issue, I was in bed at 7:10 after taking NyQuil. I was a wreck.

The kids have a cold and I have the same one, but like 100 times worse.

Cameron has a kazoo that is killing me. He insists on bringing it to bed, and then stays up for 2 hours playing with it. So I became Mean Mommy last night and took it away. After Aaron calmed him down, he was asleep in 5 minutes. I'll be burning the kazoo today.

Tonight Aaron is taking Cam to the Science Museum and I don't know who is more excited - Cam or Aaron. Maggie and I are going to see my friend - who has 4 'big' girls (10, 12, 14, and 17) PLUS they have a dog. She is going to be in baby heaven.

We turned the heat on this week. We like to try and wait until Nov 1st - but seriously. It snowed last night. It had to be done.

Cranky

2011-10-25T10:03:00.003-04:00

I have a wicked cold. Wicked. I feel like crap. And the kids have it too, which is making them whiny. Which makes me EVEN MORE cranky.

Fun fun fun.

So I will bitch. And I'm going to bitch about something that many people tell me I should be happy about. Maggie is obsessed with potty training. Obsessed. She gets on the potty and does something pretty much every time. She is super proud of herself.

BUT. And here is the big BUT. She wants to be on the potty all the time. And maybe 80% of the time actually does something. A perfect example is this morning. I'm upstairs, trying to get something I need to bring to work, and Maggie followed me upstairs. She runs into the room I'm in and says POOP! POTTY! So I stop what I'm doing, put her on the potty and leave to finish what I was doing. And she starts crying. So Cam goes in, and then runs back to report to me that "Maggie no want me Mama. She want YOU." So I go in, ask if she is all done and take her off. I try to finish what I was doing. She is runs around yelling POOP POTTY again, so I try to whip off her diaper and throw her on the potty. But. The diaper is full of poop which is now all over my hand.

GOD. DAMN. IT.

So I try to stay calm and get her cleaned up (and myself) but of course there aren't any wipes upstairs because we don't usually have to deal with diapers upstairs anymore and the ones we have are dried out because they were left open and DID I MENTION I HAVE POOP ON MY HANDS!!?!?

Sigh. I know most of this is because I am cranky and tired from my cold, and I should have gotten up BEFORE the kids and gotten myself ready for work. But seriously. Poop on my hands before 8 AM?

I'm considering getting Maggie pull-ups, just to make this stage easier, but I just think they are dumb (basically fancy diapers).

Deep. Breath.

Now is when you all tell me to relax and be happy that Maggie WANTS to use the potty. Or tell me funny diaper training stories so I can laugh a little whist MISERABLE and snotty. Begin.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-10-20T15:03:00.002-04:00

On a Thursday.

But hey, Aaron and I are taking tomorrow off together, so I doubt I'll be on the computer.

The firetruck bed is a huge success

Cam is currently obsessed with a kazoo that my mom gave him last weekend. Funniest story on that front was the other morning, he got out of bed and declared that he had to pee. So he ran to the bathroom. While be peed, he was playing the kazoo. I may have laughed.

Tuesday night, on a whim, I took the kids to a local pasta supper. I reluctantly bought raffle tickets. I won a free loaf of bread every week for 6 months from Nashoba Brook Bakery! I'm crazy excited about it.

When Cam was learning to talk, I avoided a lot of tantrums with him by asking him to SHOW me something when I couldn't understand what he was trying to say. Until now, all attempts at that tactic with Maggie have ended in a HUGE tantrum. This morning, she kept telling me something and I really couldn't figure out what she wanted. I told her to show me. She gave me a look, turned around, ran and got what she wanted. She was SO proud of herself!

Aaron was supposed to go away this weekend to CA, leaving Friday and coming home on Monday. The trip got canceled, and he is still taking Friday off of work - so we are going to do take it together. Bonus!

Another cute Maggie story. This morning, we stopped and got donuts on the way to school. As we left the store, I told everyone to hold hands. Cam wanted to hold Maggie's hand - so Maggie was going to end up holding my hand and Cam's - with no hand left over for the donut. She moved the donut from hand to hand - trying to figure out what to do - and then just shoved the whole thing in her mouth and grabbed our hands. Cutest thing EVER.

My mom is visiting this weekend, and for the first time in 2 years, I'm letting her bring the dog. Pray that it isn't a disaster with 3 huge dogs, 2 toddlers and 3 adults all weekend.

I have won the Birthday Party Debate. We will have the party in the room that I thought it would be, with the rules being 20 kids. Parents won't be included in the count. I'm very, very, happy about this.

Currently obsessed with the idea of making Maggie hair clips. I blame Jen. I'm planning on trying to make some on Sunday. We'll see if they are the success I'm thinking they will be.

The Firetruck Bed

2011-10-18T09:26:00.005-04:00

This weekend, Aaron installed the firetruck bed. It is so much more amazing than I thought it would be (and I already thought it was going to be pretty amazing). A while back, I found a blog showing off the firetruck bed that someone made for his son. I emailed it to Aaron right away - and he totally was into making it. We measured Cam's room, and figured out that we couldn't do one with the stairs, and after much convincing on my part, decided that Cam could handle a ladder. So, we used the plans from Ana-White.com for her Easy Playhouse Loft - but Aaron made many changes from there.

I was really nervous that it would total overwhelm Cam's room, as it's not a super big room and our house only has 7.5 feet high ceilings- but it just fits perfectly.

The big additions that Aaron made the first firetruck bed was a driver's seat for the steering wheel:

And a toy box/back seat at the back of the truck:

This was pretty much all Aaron. I helped with a little bit of painting (as did Cam) and some of the precision cutting on the diamond plate vinyl but every night after dinner Aaron would head down into the shop and work on it. He came up with all the cute additions, figured out the best way to make the lights work (Christmas lights), and angled the ladder in the best way so toddlers can go up and down with ease.

The first night, Cam asked to read his books inside the firetruck. With Daddy. The man couldn't have been happier.

And because I know people are going to ask:

Yes, he does sleep in it. Amazing, but true. Aaron was nervous that he would be to excited, or play all night, or even maybe be too young to sleep up high - but it's been three nights now and he LOVES it.

It cost about $500 total. That includes wood, paint, bolts for the wheels, lighting, and even the mattress that I got at Ikea. I got a little firetruck rug (secondhand) to put inside the playhouse part and a little firehouse print to put on the wall. Only thing not finished is the window treatments.

No. Aaron will not make these for sale. Besides the fact that he has a backlog of personal projects for our family (next up is refurbishing an awesome dollhouse for Maggie), the man works full time in technology. He isn't quiting his day job! And imagine the liability for bedding beds for kids? I think not.

Anyway. Pretty awesome, huh? Cam is one lucky kid. And so many thanks to Jeff and Kristin McClure for posting their son's bed - we would have never come up with this on our own!

Birthday party season

2011-10-17T11:44:00.003-04:00

I had been very excited. Over 6 months ago, we had a service auction at church. People auction off goods and services and the proceeds go to the church. One of the things auctioned off was a birthday party for up to 18 kids in the Fellowship Hall. Which is a nice, big space. I envisioned a party with both Maggie and Cameron's friends - with the parents standing to the side, the kids having fun. A nice, relaxed space for the kids to have fun and the parents to relax.

I gave them the date I wanted to do the party, and gave them pretty much full rein on the planning - theme and whatever. As the date approaches, the head of the group doing the party has started talking to me about the details. We were thinking a music theme - with one of their friends to come in and play to the kids. I mentioned that I was hoping I could use the big, industrial ovens to cook pizzas for everyone, and she gave me a little strange look, and said 'Right, food wasn't included'. Then mentioned that they were planning on having the party in the basement of Fellowship hall.

Which is a basement. A small room that they use for classes, and I don't see all the parents fitting with the kids and being comfortable in any way shape or form. There aren't even grownup sized chairs down there. It's a preschool classroom. So I kind of looked at her funny and said, what about the parents? And she was like, I'm sure a total of 18 people will fit there.

And I was like 18 people total? Which, at a birthday party for 2 and 3 year olds equates to maybe to 4 friends, with their parents. Which is not at all what I want. Forgetting about Cam and Maggie's adult friends. And I certainly don't want to have two separate parties (like a small friend party and then one at home for family or whatever) - we do this birthday thing ONCE.

So I wrote a (hopefully) innocent sounding email:

I’m a little confused after our quick conversation on Sunday. What I thought the deal was for the party was for 18 kids, and use of fellowship hall. Since my kids are so young, I envisioned being in the big space, with the kids having a blast with the activities (maybe some kids that are way too shy to even be WITH the other kids) and the parents (who have the more adventurous kids) chit-chatting on the other side of the hall. I had expected that I would provide most, if not all food, decorations, etc. plus help you all out with child herding.

Is your understanding different? Because kids as young as Maggie and Cameron are going to probably have one, if not two parents attend. So we would only be able to have maybe 4 kids besides mine. I’m thinking that it will be more like 14 kids + parents (invited, with less attending, of course)

Let me know

So. If she comes back telling me that yes, she meant 18 people total and they were are to do it in the basement, I'm going to say thanks, but just take my money as a donation to the church and Aaron and I will do the party in my house.

Annoying, but it will all work out.
ETA: I just looked it up. The certificate I got says 'up to 20 guests' and 'at your house or in fellowship hall'. So we'll see. Because it's all up to interpretation, right?

What a difference a year makes

2011-10-11T09:47:00.005-04:00

This was a long weekend for the kids and I (Aaron had to work on Monday). I don't know about you all, but for me, it's easier to handle the kids alone at some sort of 'event'. They are both so excited (and a little nervous about the crowds) that they hold hands and just have a blast. When I saw that a Day out With Thomas was this weekend - I decided to take the gang.

We went last year on Labor Day weekend, and the kids had a blast. It's at Edaville - an old train-themed amusement park for little kids. Each year they threaten to shut down (I'm sure it's expensive to run) but they decided to keep it going this year.

When I was saving the pictures from this trip, I noticed the ones from last year. Look at this craziness. Here is Maggie last year on the train ride:

And then this year:

Would you even recognize her? She is such a big girl now.

On the way home we stopped at Ikea and got the mattress for the firetruck bed. You guys are NEVER going to believe how awesome that thing is. It's amazing. I have no idea how Cam is ever going to actually SLEEP in it.

Dolls

2011-10-04T13:28:00.002-04:00

Maggie doesn't have any dolls. I didn't think it was a big deal, because she happily plays with whatever Cam is playing with. But. For the past few weeks, I keep getting reports from daycare about Maggie and her friend J sending the whole afternoon covering the dolls with quilts and rubbing their backs, sitting them in the kitchen and feeding them and basically just carrying the dolls around. So I started looking into a doll for Maggie.

I hate the plastic ones. The combo plastic/cloth ones seem a little creepy. And then, last night I went to a friends house who has four girls and she showed me the Waldorf dolls that her kids used to play with. Oh. My. God. They are SO tactile and sweet and PERFECT. So I started looking around to buy one - minimum $100. Not happening. (But of course, shopping around made me want them more - look here and here and here).

I called a crafty friend of mine, and it turns out she LOVES making dolls and used to teach a class! So I'm buying a pattern and we'll embark on this journey together.

I then started looking a sweater patterns for the doll. I have a feeling I may need to make myself a doll too.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-09-30T09:21:00.002-04:00

Happy Friday! This week at work has been.... interesting. I'm very happy that the work week is over.

I got tickets to a Day Out with Thomas. I was going back and forth on it, but I have the day off work, and Aaron doesn't. Sometimes it's actually easier with two kids to go do a super big EVENT than to just stay home.

This weekend is the church fair. There is a bounce house, games, a bagpiper, and other fun music stuff. Cam and Maggie's best grown up friend, Suzanne, is coming to go with them. Just Suzanne alone is enough to make my kids crazy with excitement.... add in a bounce house - and they are going to lose it.

Aaron's grandmother is coming to visit. She wants to take us out for dinner. Let's hope the gang is on the best behavior.

The dinner would be Saturday night. So we pray that the bounce house excitement leads to good naps. Or we are going to have a disaster.

Night time potty training. I'm not even thinking about it, because Cam never wakes up dry. What have the rest of you done for this? Should I wait until he starts waking up dry? Because sometimes I wonder if he wakes up, realizes that he has a diaper on, and pees.

I'm currently dollhouse obsessed. I like this one, this one, and this one.

Aaron is willing to build the dollhouse. So I'm trying to decide if the Melissa and Doug (with the 'real' windows and tiny little details) is necessary - and in which case I don't think Aaron could swing it. But one like Anna's dollhouse Aaron could totally make - but will Maggie like it as much as one with all the pretty bits? Or will it be cooler that Daddy made it?

Our House Policies

2011-09-29T10:19:00.002-04:00

In line with the post I did a while back about freezer dinners and our need to just RELAX about some things, I thought I would share a little bit about my parenting policies. I'm on a few email lists on parenting topics and it's very interesting to me the things that some mothers try to control.

Things I 'enforce':

Manners: Aaron is better than I am at this, but we insist on the following

Please when asking for something

Thank you when someone gives you something

Excuse me when interrupting a conversation

Asked to be excused from the table

Kindness: Mostly this is kindness in our house, to each other. They are usually pretty good with others (isn't that like life in general - many people are nicer to strangers than their own family). I don't tolerate a child yelling at me (For example, 'No thank you' instead of 'NO MOMMY! NO WANT TO'), teasing someone else (including the dogs) or being mean to a sibling. This is happening less and less - and I just keep repeating 'Treat your brother/sister how you want to be treated'. And it works! You would think they were too young, but no.

Helping: Everyone helps around here. Maggie and Cam help set and clear the table. If they make a big mess (like spilling cheerios) they help clean it up. I don't get upset - man do I remember my mother FREAKING out if I spilled something. I just acknowledge the mess, and have them help fix it. Same with if Cam pees in his pants, no big deal, but go get yourself a change of clothes. They help feed the dogs. They help put away laundry. I'm not making 'chores' because that isn't what it is. They are contributing to the family. Because they are part of a family.

Family Dinner: I try to get us to sit in the dining room every night for dinner. It's helping them learn to sit and have little conversations, but it's also good for Aaron and I to reconnect at the end of the day. It would be nice if Maggie would stop pooping in her diaper the minute dinner is served, but we are getting there.

Things I care about, but don't try to control.
Sleep. I'm a mom who thinks one of the most important skills you can teach your child is how to sleep. Both of my kids went through my sleep boot camp at about 5 months old - and have slept through the night ever since. We have a routine that is pretty set in stone. We have dinner, we play, then we have a bath, read some books or watch a little TV, and then get into beds and turn off the light. Some nights, they pass out right away. But other nights? They play with their blankets or stuffed animals - or like last night, the glow sticks that I gave them before bedtime (not my best decision). And then they fall asleep when they do. I don't run up into their rooms and sit in there until they fall asleep. I just make sure they are safe, and in their rooms - and I let it be.

I feel like micro-managing when my child falls asleep is something I don't need to stress about. I certainly can't FORCE them to fall asleep and they will fall asleep when they are tired.

Potty training: Best advice I ever got - it's their project, not yours.

Toys: The kids play with whatever toys they think are fun. We have a battery powered guitar, a big drum, trains, a play kitchen, blocks, dolls, whatever. I don't ban anything. Maggie hasn't showed interest yet, but I'm fine with barbies and princesses. Cam will probably own nerf guns or whatever. We let them watch *some* TV, Aaron let's them play toddler games on the iPad. I'm not going to be the mom that BANS a certain type of toy.

As that get older - I see myself limiting screen time, if necessary, but when I was a kid, I never ended up watching much TV because I was involved in sports and had homework. I'm hoping that my kids are the same.

Jackets/Clothes (and at some point, hair). I let them wear what they want, when they want. Often this will mean Cam going to school without a jacket (Maggie on the other hand LOVES jackets). I watch people loading there kids up to go somewhere and seriously having a battle over a jacket. If the kid gets cold, he is going to realize that he should have put a jacket on. I always bring it with me, and if it really is cold enough? Cam will run over and ask for it soon enough (and then he will tend to listen to me on the jacket suggestion for a few weeks, and then he'll forget again). When Maggie is 15 and wants to dye her her pink - who cares?! It grows out. It's not permanent.

Now those weird ear stretcher things or piercings or tattoos? That's a whole other story.

Fairy Houses

2011-09-28T11:08:00.003-04:00

I've talked about our cabin in the woods here a bit. One of the neat things about being able to go there when I was a kid, was exploring in the woods. My mom basically let me run free when we were there. While exploring, I found this house that had a little mini-city built in the woods. I don't know why the guy who owned that cabin did it - or even if he had kids - but in my mind? It was a little city for fairies. I would check it out any time I was there. Since it was a vacation home, I never got to meet the people who lived there - but it was so magical to me.

Now that my kids are getting to the age that pretend play is in full force, I decided to start a little 'fairy town' in our backyard. We have a little bit of woods, so I found a good, out of the way place - and I put a stone that Cam made in daycare. And then a simple little 'house' to get them started.

I figure we can be 'surprised' and find it when we are out exploring in the back yard. I can't wait to see their reactions.

Wow.

2011-09-27T10:18:00.002-04:00

Lots of things to say - and the longer I wait to say it, the harder it is to do it. So here we go.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately - I can't stop thinking about Nora. But only at night time. I hate it when this happens. I can't figure out what triggers it, but I find myself wondering 'what if' and also reliving that night over and over. Thankfully, I finally got so tired that last night I just passed out. Rational me knows that grief has no end date and also that in general, my life is pretty awesome right now. But we all know that the rational part doesn't always win, right?

I am CRAZY busy this month. I volunteered for a few things at church, and separately they aren't big time sucks, but together - geez. One is teaching at the religious education class on Sunday - I'm with the 1st and 2nd graders. All I can say is kids that age are hilarious. I also signed the kids and I up for apple picking, as our church makes apple pies for a fundraiser during the month of September. A local apple farm lets us pick the dropped apples off the ground, and I realized that it's a perfect toddler activity. They love it. And finally, this weekend is the annual Church fair, and I'm heading the craft table.

This past weekend was WAY too much fun for the kids. Saturday we went to a Colonial Faire, and saw DRUMMERS (Cam's fav). I found myself tearing up watching the two of them just LOVE watching the different Fife and Drum Crops walk by. It kills me the joy they find in the little things. Sunday was Aaron's company picnic, and Cam is finally old enough for everything - he tried the bumper boat (with one of us of course), loved mini-golf and spent FOREVER in the bounce house. And Maggie, since she sees Cam doing it too - tries it all! She wasn't a HUGE fan of the bumper boats (too loud) but everything else - she totally went for it. Neither child had a nap on Sunday, and they both did great (and were sound asleep by 6:45 that night, lol).

Aaron is close to finishing the firetruck bed - and it is awesome. Awesome awesome awesome. I just need to decide if we should use a futon or a 'real' mattress. Anyone have opinions?

Leftovers.

2011-09-22T15:02:00.002-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Thursday. But this is all I can muster right now.

Thursday night, Maggie threw up in the middle of the night. Fun times.

She was still throwing up in the morning, so I was home with her all day.

Saturday, we had a fun day, running around, doing errands, even having some family over for dinner. Perhaps even had a few too many adult beverages.

Sunday was my 36th birthday. I slept in. When I woke up I feel a little 'off'. Cam had some nasty poop, so I figured he was getting what Maggie had, and I was just hungover. My mom was arriving at 9 AM to hang out with us for my birthday

I was just SO tired and my stomach hurt so much, I basically sent her home at 1, because I needed to lay down. I felt awful. She made some snide comments that she was being 'kicked out'. Grow up. Seriously.

Monday, the kids made it through school until about 3, when Maggie woke up covered in poo.

Tuesday they were both out. And I officially now had the illness.

Same yesterday. But add on that I got my period too. Woot! Liquid butt with a dose of hormones!

And today, Maggie is better, but Cam still has it.

I'm crabby, miserable, and want to kill someone.

Aaron is a lucky man.

In Praise of the Freezer Dinner

2011-09-15T12:48:00.002-04:00

This is half a post about telling you to GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK and half to tell you all about freezer dinners (which helps me a lot). In my circle of friends, I have about a 50/50 spilt of moms that work outside of the home and moms that stay-at-home. Many of the moms that work grew up with stay-at-home moms, and I swear, they are holding themselves to an insane standard. They work all day, come home, make dinner, take care of the kids, and then spend the whole weekend cleaning the house just to do it all again the next week. I was doing the same thing for a while, but all I have to say is thank god for therapy.

A smart person once told me that your life and the time you have available can be viewed as a pie. You can change where you spend each slice of your time, but the pie itself doesn't get any bigger. As a working mom, I already spend at least 8 hours of my 24 hour day working. And another 8 sleeping (To be civil. I know, thanks to Maggie, that I can survive on much less. But it's ugly). That leaves me a total of 8 hours to do everything else. I'm sure that other moms agree, I'd like some time to myself to relax and recoup and also get in some quality time with my family. So we do the following:

Aaron is a huge part of this household. He contributes equally in every way. This was hard in the beginning with the kids - I had this NEED to tell him what to do and how to do it. I finally let it go. Sometimes, he may do things differently than I would - but so long as it's getting done and I'm not involved, I let him go for it.

We have cleaning people. They come into my house every two weeks, change all the sheets and clean things top to bottom in less than 2 hours. For the cost of a nice dinner out. I'm willing to sacrifice going out to eat to not deal with DEEP cleaning. We still do spot cleaning, but I'm never pulling up my sleeves, donning cleaning gloves and getting down on my hands and knees.

We eat dinner together, almost every night. Sure. It's a bit of a circus to get things done (and this is the second part of my post) but for at least 30 minutes every day the 4 of us are in the same room and connecting. And the more often we do it, the more used to it that the kids are. I usually cook, Aaron gets the kids from daycare, and when the get home, the kids set the table while Aaron makes drinks for everyone (Mommy's usually has vodka, lol)

The only way I'm able to get a dinner on the table for the whole family is by making it in advance. I either use a freezer meal, or a crockpot meal. Now, while I do love the crockpot, it's not great for EVERY meal. I think the crockpot is great for roasts, chilis, and stews. Before I found freezer meals, I would pretty much grill some sort of meal every day. That was all I had time for. Which got old fast, and back in the day when all my money wasn't being sucked into childcare, we would end up going out to eat at least 3 days a week.

Enter freezer meals. The idea is you take a block of time to assemble a bunch of meals, and then you can pull them out of the freezer and cook them when you are ready. It costs a bit more than doing it yourself (about $4 a serving with Dream Dinners), but less than take out. And you end up saving money because you aren't throwing away uncooked food at the end of the week that you ended up not having time to cook. Most meals take between 30 minutes to an hour to cook - which gets us at the dinner table by 6. Plenty of time to eat and get the kids to bed without meltdowns.

I started, 5 years ago, going to a non-chain store locally (called the Gathering Kitchen), but they shut down. I moved to Dream Dinners and have been very happy with them so far. Thing is, the Dream Dinners close to me have all shut down (thank you, recession) so I'm driving 60 minutes round trip to spend 45 minutes assembling dinner. Which honestly, is still worth it, but the other issue is that the serving sizes they offer is 3 or 6. 6 is way to much, but now that Maggie and Cam are eating what we eat, 3 is often to little.

My current project is seeing if it makes sense to do try and do this with another friend on the street. Because a lot of the allure of Dream Dinners is that you aren't buying (for example) a whole container of craisens when you only need 1 Tsp for a recipe. I've gotten a few books that have recipes, and am researching prices and container options this weekend. If it works out like I think it will, I'll be saving (more) time and (more) money.

Picture Wednesday

2011-09-14T10:06:00.006-04:00

I feel like you all need some cute baby pictures.

Here is the gang 'helping' me with the laundry. Cam dumps the laundry out of the basket and then they both climb in.

Here they are helping me make tomato sauce. This was truly helping! Maggie would put the tomatoes in, and Cam would crank the machines - they did this with me until it was done, almost 45 minutes. Who knew it was that exciting?

When I got home from India, there is a small chance I took the kids out and let them have ice cream for lunch. Maggie was a fan.

Aaron has been working every night creating Cam's firetruck bed. On Sept 11th, we put the first bit of paint on it. Seemed like the right day to be working on it.

And finally, on Saturday, Aaron watched a bunch of my friend's kids while we went to another friend's art opening. There were 6 'big' kids (from 10 - 14 years old) and then Cam and Maggie. One of the moms brought this big cardboard box, and it entertained EVERYONE for 2 hours. Aaron didn't even stay in the same room with them.

Maggie decorated it with markers, the big kids made an elaborate drawbridge and some windows and Cam declared it his firehouse, and spent the evening filling it up with all his firetrucks.

Back to it

2011-09-13T09:17:00.002-04:00

It's funny. I was away for 10 days. I had no children, no husband, no work. No one to worry about but myself. No toddlers to feed, no laundry to sort, no dogs to clean up after. Being on a break like that was great for me, I think. But what shocks me somewhat is how easily I've just shifted right back into my 'normal' life.

Like there was never a break. Things here are crazy. Work is so insane right now it's actually laughable. I've got my two wonderful kids just being kids.

Maggie won't stop hitting people. We tell her no and move her away. She either turns around and runs back and hits again, or throws herself to the ground and freaks out. She is 22 months old - help? We've never needed to do time-outs with Cam, and I think she's too young anyway. What the heck do I do? She is a bit of a whirling dervish. She doesn't get what she wants? Complete and total freak out. Monday night, she wanted to stay in the tub. It was well past her bedtime, so we took her out and tried to get her ready for bed. She cried for 2 hours. TWO FULL HOURS. At first, I thought she was sick, so I went up and held her, rocked her - it was like trying to hold an angry cat. She was so loud she woke up Cam (so then I had TWO crying babies), and needed DADDY. Aaron came up and finally got her calmed down by letting her play with his iPhone, and she finally passed out. I think she was just overtired....I have to admit I was thinking at one point during this two hour scream fest - are we showing her that if she flips out, Daddy will come and play with her? But it didn't happen last night - I think she just worked herself up so much and was so tired that she couldn't self-soothe. But my friends. The force is strong with this one.

And Cam is just this crazy ball of Big Boy. Big boys sleep in BIG beds. Big Boys use the potty. Big Boys ride REAL bikes. It's hard to keep up with him! And it's also hard to believe that he will only be 3 in December.

Both kids have just shot up in size. I had to do my seasonal purge a bit early. Baby clothes require SO much more work then you would think!Sorting through what fits, what we should save. What to donate, what to try to sell.... it's just a bit overwhelming at times. I had everything dumped out in our guest room, and was slowly working through it (in that I'd pop my head in every once in a while and then walk away because I didn't want to deal with it), when our good friend Darrin called and asked if he could stay at our house for a few days. I overhear Aaron say 'We've always got room for you!' and I was like.... um. Not right now! And spent 4 hours sorting, chucking, organizing and putting things into bins. My system, though a pain in the ass, works great. I put each size in a big bin, and on the outside, I label what's in there. If someone offers me handmedowns, I can check quickly if it's something we need.

That's my life. I love it.

Traveling to India - my trials and tips

2011-09-09T10:40:00.006-04:00

I'm guessing that most of my daily readers aren't planning on trips to India, but maybe people will google and find this. I would have loved a little write up on what to do as a woman traveling alone in India.

I think when you read this, you must know that my travel style is to try everything. I'm not afraid of failure. I try different foods (assuming that they seem well cooked - I'm not risking food illness) because what is the worst? I may not like it. I go to local places, and I try to experience the culture as much as a can (which in this case wasn't always easy because I don't speak the language). I also go in with the idea that if it's a success, it's fun - if it fails, at least I have a good story! And I also usually have the option to 'fix' it. If I hated traveling on the train, I would have sprung for a taxi home. If the hotel sucked, I would have switched. I'm a pretty flexible traveler. Which I think allows me to do and try more things than the average person.

First off, the people are friendly. Maybe too friendly, as many people wanted to practice their English with me. But don't be afraid to travel alone. I think the worst thing to be afraid of is pickpockets. I walked around with confidence and kept my bag close.

Pre-paid taxi stands are your friend. At all airports and railway stations, you will find these. Most places they are right out front. At the Old Delhi train station I needed to walk a bit, but they exist. Only the guy INSIDE the booth gives you the price. You will walk through a sea of people offering you taxi rides for probably at least double if not triple what you would pay at the pre-pay booth. At one point, I was at the window talking to the guy (he told me that it was 140 rupees to go where I wanted) and another taxi guy was telling me 200 rupees. They'll pressure you until you pay the guy - it's amazing.

If there isn't a pre-paid taxi stand, insist on a meter. I actually had to tell someone to stop to let me out because he wouldn't turn on the damn meter

Be ready to barter. Everything is up for negotiation. At first, it's fun. They give you a price, you offer half of that, and then you go back and forth. Sometimes you walk away. If they chase after you, you know you can still negotiate. They won't sell it for less than it cost. By the end of the trip, I was so done with this. Usually what I would do is set a price in my mind that I thought it was worth to me. Like cool pashmina scarf - $20 seemed fair to me. As long as I hit that price I was happy, but sometimes I got significantly lower.

What to wear. Sure, it's hot. But nobody wears shorts or tank tops. I got by with t-shirts and capris. Bring your own sunscreen.

Go to Agra. Seeing the Taj Mahal was one of the top 5 experiences of my life. It's amazing and majestic. No matter why you are in India - make it to Agra. Trains are cheap, and domestic flights are reasonable. Some people gave me advice to take a personal car tour of the Taj starting in New Dehli. This would have cost me about $400. I took a train back and forth for $30, and got a pre-paid taxi cab for 8 hours around Agra for 1500 rupees ($30). You can see everything worthwhile there in less than 5 hours. If possible, get to the Taj first thing in the morning before it's crazy crowded (the buses start arriving from New Delhi at 10). If you stay until sunset, ask a taxi driver to take you to Mehtab Bagh. This is a garden - but don't actually go into the garden. If you walk down the edge of this park, towards the water, you can see the 'backside' of the Taj. It's a great, not too crowded place to watch the sunset. When I was there, I was with maybe 20 other tourists.

Take a train. The train system is a HUGE part of Indian life. And they are safe and a very reasonable way to travel. I took a 6.5 hour express train to Jaipur, first class AC, and it cost me $21. You can book in advance on Cleartrip. But if you happen to need to book it the day of - there are tourist offices IN the railway stations (the ones outside are scams) that save a few seats for tourists usually. I mostly rode in first class AC, but second class is also fine - just make sure you are in an AC carriage. DO NOT EAT THE TRAIN FOOD.

NOTE: Be aware of scams. If you have a ticket in hand, it is good. An e-ticket print out IS a valid ticket. I had a moment of freak out when someone tried to tell me that my eticket wouldn't work, and that I needed to be at the station 2 hours before the train to confirm my seat. That is bullshit. I would recommend getting there a bit early to get on the right platform and settle in - but you don't have to check in like you do for a flight.

Drink the coffee. They make is with boiled milk, not water. It's delicious.

Try a heritage hotel. I only booked one hotel for myself - in Jaipur. They did have the tried and true US chains there, but for $120 a night and no charm. I risked it and stayed at the Umiad Bhuvan guest house for $40 a night. Great place!

Get a Aruvedic Massage.

I think that's it. The most amazing trip ever. I only wished I got to share it with Aaron.

Not even close to Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T09:45:00.006-04:00

I finally have a few minutes to sit and share pictures of India with you!

I arrived Sunday night, and I stayed with Nick (Suzanne's brother). He took Monday and showed me around New Dehli. That place is crazy. So many people in such a small place - and when you get into Old Delhi, it's even more so. Here is a picture of Old Dehli I took from the steps of Jami Masjid:

Tuesday morning at 4 AM (after staying up all night waiting for my lost luggage, sigh) - I flew out of New Delhi to Coimbatore, where the wedding was. I tried to take pictures to show what it was like to be at a wedding with over 2000 people, but it was impossible. This is the night before the wedding - me with the bride and groom (the groom worked for me about 5 years ago)

This is the next morning. The wedding was at a Hindu temple at 5 AM. The major theme for this trip was me getting up at 4 AM. Somehow I wasn't tired, but this is a picture of me with people who were hanging out near the coffee - so I did get some caffeine, at least.

They make coffee with milk, not water. It. Is. Wonderful. The other funny thing is that every time I took a picture, everyone wanted to get in it - but then they didn't smile. Strange.

And this is me with the bride and groom and his parents. I was trying to just get a picture of us together, and they insisted on making it formal like this. The whole time I was in Coimbatore for the wedding, the father was making sure I was taken care of. He had some member of the family with me at all times - it was awesome, but I felt bad - like he had other things to do during his son's wedding!

When I would protest, and tell them I was fine, I was informed that it's how things are done there (Indian hospitality) and I should just give in. So I did.

I stayed in Coimbatore for 3 full days, and although much of it was taken up with the wedding, I did get to explore the countryside for a bit - which was SUCH a contrast from the cities. Here I am with one of Dhana's friends exploring a tea plantation.

The countryside was so GREEN and the hills were amazing.

Next stop was Agra. I took a train there, and this is for another post - but I was almost scammed out of my ticket. I have loads of pictures, but I'll sum it up with this funny one:
The Taj Mahal is the single most amazing thing I've ever seen. No picture can do it justice. You have to be there. My day in Agra was so much fun - I met a Swedish woman on the train and we shared a tour for the first part of the day, and then I spent the afternoon seeing all the rest of the sights. Amazing place. I got to see the Taj at sunset - that beautiful white building glows pink. None of the pictures I took show what it really looked like. But it was amazing.

Did I mention it was amazing?

When I got back to New Delhi on Saturday night, it became apparent that the hurricane in the US was going to screw up all my flights. Again, a story for another post, but Aaron finally managed to get through, and got me on a flight home on Weds. Which gave me 3 more full days to explore. I decided to go to Jaipur. I had met a Japanese man in Agra who told me I couldn't miss Jaipur - that the Amber Fort was amazing and I could ride an elephant.

So. Of course I had to do that.

Another thing I hadn't had time for was to get henna on my hands - so I did that in Jaipur:

Basically Jaipur was the cherry on the top of my Indian Sundae. I was so tired, I went back to my hotel around 4, where I noticed a flyer for Aruvedic massage. So I went and got one. The description sounded like torture (warm oil slowly dripped onto your forehead) but Oh. My. Lord. It was wonderful!

And then I finally got to come home and see my babies. It was so nice to go and have a complete change in pace, but I sure did miss my gang.

Disappointed

2011-09-06T13:21:00.002-04:00

Every day, on the way home from daycare, we pass by an apple orchard. Both Cam and Maggie love it - and actually, APPLE TREE was one of the first phases Maggie said.

So this year, I came up with what I thought was a great idea. I thought I could buy a bag to pick apples, but instead of doing it all at once, just let the kids stop each day on the way home and pick one apple. Wouldn't that be fun? I finally got around to calling the place and asking if we could do it - I really thought they would think it was a fun idea. It's a tiny, family owned place... and the woman was SO not receptive to it. She said it would be too complicated.

I was really annoyed and disappointed - I really thought that a little family place would be open to making some toddler's day. But no. Oh well. They lost a customer who would have been made happy SO easily.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-09-02T10:42:00.002-04:00

Ah. Back to normal. And I've got lots of leftovers!

After being away from home for 10 days, there is seriously no place like my home. I love my little family, our house, our friends, and even our climate.

Today, we took the kids out of daycare so a few of the teachers could have a nice, long weekend. And I'm hoping to get out of work early so I can play with everyone

Well, maybe not play. I'm thinking of taking the kids shoe shopping. How is it that their feet grow SO FAST!

We had Chinese food the night I got back, and as usual, last night I was up every hour going pee. I hate it that salty stuff make me retain water like that! Every time I have soy sauce and/or Chinese food, that happens to me. Such a freak.

We have no plans at all for the weekend. Nice, right?

But I am going to attempt to make some tomato sauce for canning. last time I did that it was a huge failure. This time, I'm learning from the experts. Our Aunt Mary makes the only red sauce that Cam has ever liked. I'm hoping to have her teach me.

OK - kids are back from the park with Aaron, I'm going to try and 'work' while I play with them. So happy to be home!

I'm back!

2011-09-01T11:07:00.002-04:00

Wow. That's all I can say. India is a amazing country, and I had an amazing trip. I think you can all figure out that I got stuck there for a few more days thanks to the hurricane, but it was all fine.

I'll post again with loads of pictures, but for now I'll tell you that this was the best idea ever. I haven't had a real break like this since before we started fertility treatments (over 5 years). We just didn't have the time or money. I was offline, away from work, family - EVERYTHING for the whole 10 days. I needed it more than I knew. I was a super star in India - especially at the wedding. They were blown away that I came that far for the wedding, that I made an effort to wear Indian clothing (more than once I was told that I looked like a 'doll') and I had my own driver to take me around to see the sights.

After the wedding, I took a train to Agra and saw the Taj Mahal - words (and honestly even pictures) don't describe that place. Amazing. When I found out that I was staying in India for another day due to the hurricane on the East Coast, I then made plans to see Jaipur (parts of Indiana Jones was filmed there). My trip up to that point was somewhat frantic - trying to see as much as I could with the little time that I had. But Jaipur was relaxed. I had a great hotel room ($40 a night!), I rode an elephant, got henna on my hands, and even got a massage.

I had lots of adventures though - my luggage didn't arrive with me, so I had the fun of making sure I got that before my flight to the wedding, I had a second outfit mailed to my hotel - that didn't arrive until 9 PM the night before I was to wear it, I almost got scammed out of my train ticket on my way to Agra, I took a sleeper train (I felt like I was in the movie Darjeeling Express!), I rode in taxis, rickshaws, and autos - I bartered for shawls, I even ripped the butt of my pants in Agra and mooned the whole country for a while until someone FINALLY pointed it out to me, lol.

By the time I was finally leaving, I was ready. I was a bit homesick - everything in India is SO foreign, the language, the food, the climate, and I also missed the kids and Aaron horribly. I'm so glad to be home, and so happy that my trip went so smoothly. There were so many chances for things to go wrong, and it all just worked out in the end.

Ok - back to catching up on my life. When I have time to sort through my pictures, I'll do another post.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-08-19T14:17:00.002-04:00

Deep breath. I'm leaving in 24 hours for my India trip. I'm excited, scared, and so, so ready for some time off

I haven't been away from Aaron for this long sense we met.

I spent today getting the little things done. I got a stack of one dollar bills for tips, a bunch of snack foods/granola bars, random toiletries.

Now I'm trying to figure out what knitting to bring on the plane with me.

I'm currently making a few easy meals for Aaron to cook while I'm gone. Not because I NEED to, but to be nice. Because he may need a little long-distance nice when he's home alone with two toddlers.

In other news - the summer is almost over! WTF. Summer is super fast.

OK. Back my my obsessive packing. Talk to you all in a week!

Travel. Freakout.

2011-08-17T09:27:00.002-04:00

I'm a pretty laid-back traveler. I traveled somewhat as a kid - my dad would take me on plenty of your stock winter trips (Cancun, Florida, even Jamaica). He was obsessed with history, so I also did trips to all the civil war battlefields, Gettysburg, and lots of national parks (like the Grand Canyon). My mom, who is a bit leery of travel, even took me to Washington, DC and New York city more than a few times.

On my own, I spent a term abroad in college where I attended school in Wales, but also saved up a lot of money the year previous and went to Dublin, Paris, London, Bath and other locations in England in the 3 months I was there. Aaron and I have gone to China (Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing, Xian), France, Greece, Italy. Plus I've gone on more than a few in country trips alone since the kids have been born (twice with Maggie and once without any kids for my Dad's funeral). I used to travel once a month for work. I know that you pack your bags, get your stuff together, and enjoy. I never 'push it' on time lines - I get to my flights with time to spare, and I just go with the flow.

But yesterday, I started freaking out. I was getting all my information together for Aaron. I want him to know where I am when - and this is awful - because of the chance of something happening. There have been bombings in India, and I'm also going on 2 different flights along with a train ride, so I don't want him to freak out if he hears of something bad happening. But as I listed it all out, I realized that India is 9.5 hours ahead of Boston, so the conversion to what 'my time' versus 'his time' would be hard. So I started to make a spreadsheet (seriously, with colors). That wasn't right either, so I came up with a less complex spreadsheet that tells him where I am for the morning/afternoon of each day (his time) and how to contact me - and I made sure to put the WHOLE number (so 011 91 xxx xxxxxxx) so all he needs to do is pick up the phone and dial.

What the heck!? This took me like 2 hours! And I pretty much guarantee you that Aaron will not look at it once.

Sigh. Don't even get me started on the current debate as to what bags I should bring. Aaron doesn't think I should bring my 'big bag' as it'll be hard to handle (which I don't agree with - it's got wheels and a handle) and what if I want to bring something home? Since I don't have to pay for a checked bag... I'm thinking it doesn't matter, but then, what if they lose it? Maybe I should just bring everything with me in a carry on? But then, what about the in country flight I'll be taking? Augh.

Right as rain

2011-08-16T12:05:00.004-04:00

It rained all day yesterday, and as weird at it sounds - that helped my mood. I love rain. Although it was cool and rainy, so it was a bit strange to be cool in the middle of August, but there it is. Your comments all helped immensely too. And as usual, just giving voice to my stress and frustration helped too.

My trip to India is soon! In less than a week, I'm hopping on a plane and going to be away from my family for the longest stretch of time EVER. The longest Aaron and I have been apart since we met over ten years ago was 4 nights. This is going to be 8 nights.... so that's a bit crazy. I also haven't had a long vacation since Christmas, so I know I need this time off. And it's going to really be time off, as I'll be alone, only responsible for myself and completely offline. The cost of being able to have my iPhone working in India seems not really worth the luxury.

I'm lucky in that I have Suzanne's brother to hang out with in New Delhi - he lives and teaches law there. So he will meet me at the airport and has already given me great advice for the trip. I arrive on Sunday night, and then I will do some sightseeing in New Delhi Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday is the wedding that I'm actually making the trip for. I went a little hog wild and bought 2 outfits so that I'll 'fit in' for the two day affair. The reception is Tuesday night, so I'm planning on wearing this:

I'm kind of nervous that I'm going to sweat like a pig, I've been told that the wedding hall doesn't have A/C but it does have fans. (Great. Fans. That'll help. Not.). Both of these outfits are silk. Lightweight... but still. So I'm thinking the darker one for the nighttime event where I think I'll be talking to more people. Maybe the pools of sweat won't show as much.

This is the original outfit I bought, before I realized that it was a two day affair. The wedding itself is the next morning at 7 AM - so I think it may be cooler then?

Who knows. At least I'll look pretty. It's kind of exciting to get to dress up like this - obviously I'd never wear a Salwar Kameez and anything with all this beading.... so that is exciting in itself. Plus, all the travel plans (I'm going to see the Taj Mahal!). I'm guessing this is going to be a big adventure, but probably exhausting too.

The Pain Olympics

2011-08-15T10:43:00.002-04:00

I don't often go down this road. But spending a week with my mother brings it out. My mom is the type of woman who (at least it seems like) loves tragedy. On Weds, she found out that a friend of hers had died. So, while hanging out with us, she spent a lot of time on the phone with his wife asking how she was doing, finding out arrangements, and helping her notify other friends. All necessary things when someone dies. (I hate it that I know all this). Anyway - one of the people she called had a lot going on - his daughter has MS, his wife was in the hospital, and he cat needed to go into surgery. She got off the phone with him and said - this man is an angel! Going through all his has in his life, and taking the time to worry about Bob and making sure he goes to the funeral.

Yeah. What an angel. She NEVER said ANYTHING like that to me. I was dealing with my son's first birthday, the death of my daughter in my own house, a baby girl with awful acid reflux and a milk allergy, the death of my father, finding out I needed to dig a well (12K we didn't happen to have in our back pocket).... WHAT ABOUT ME! Seriously. And that is all after going through the 3 years previous in which I dealt with infertility, an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage and my FIL having a major stroke and now being totally incapacitated.

This has been a lifelong thing. I have done amazing things in my life. I've finished an ironman triathlon. I've swum 10 miles in the Boston harbor. I've swum Alcatraz. I was all American in college in swimming. My boat almost won nationals in crew in college (it was actually a photo finish - took 30 minutes to decide who won). I graduated with honors from college. I'm a VP at work. And she sends me a cut-out from the newspaper about this guy that swam Alcatraz... and the whole thing about how it was a life long goal of his. Her note? "Look at what a big deal this guy made about this!". How do I explain that it IS a big deal to swim Alcatraz. Jesus. She just assumes I can do it. Which in some strange way is good, I guess.

Never, ever, has my mother told me I am amazing. Never. And sometimes I just want to shake her and scream WHAT THE FUCK. But I also don't want to sit here and list out all the shit I've gone through and make her worry either. Because I am OK. My life is wonderful. But maybe, just once, she could realize that I'm a survivor. Just a little pat on the back. But I know I won't. And sometimes it pisses me off.

It's Friday!

2011-08-12T11:50:00.002-04:00

I'm going to do a combo of Friday night leftovers and a 'real' post. This week, my brother has been visiting with his identical twin daughters. It's been great. This week is a BIG week for me at work, so at first, I couldn't figure out how I was going to be able to swing going up to meet them at the cabin. But then my mom asked around, and found a friend who has a cabin with high speed Internet. I drove up on Monday morning, and was able to leave the kids with my family while I worked. Turned out, things with my project went really smoothly, so I could have taken more time off - but I loved that I was able to walk away and really let my brother have quality time with my kids. He lives so far away that he never gets to see them.

I would work for the day in my version of paradise (a soft breeze, looking out on the woods), log off in the afternoon, and get to go to the lake with the kids, joke around, play... just a wonderful time. They had planned to stay at the cabin until Thursday, and then come down and see Boston - but I was able to convince them to leave with me on Weds. I'm charming that way. The girls, who are 13, are having a blast at our house - we have a big TV and an x-box with Connect - so they've been playing that constantly.

Cameron is so in love with his cousins. He runs around asking - where is my cousin? Where is my OTHER cousin?! They leave Saturday morning, and I think it's going to be rough.

Now for the leftovers:

Man, do I wish my brother lived closer. I just love spending time with him. And my nieces are wonderful. Hate it that thousands of miles are between us.

My 'mini-vacation' this week made me realize how excited I am for my real vacation to India! I leave in a week!

I'm not going to bring a computer or make it so my phone works in India. I'm going to try for a little tech-free time. Scary, huh?

Aaron is going to start building Cam's fire truck bed soon...which is super exciting!

This week, Maggie learned a new word - STOP. And her first sentence 'I no want that'. Does it surprise me that was her first sentence? Nope.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-08-05T13:03:00.002-04:00

First - if Erin is reading this - thanks for the comment! I'm so glad you found me! Erin is my buddy from my very first job out of college. We shared an office (back in the days before cubicles). She rocked. I assume she still does.

Everyone (except Aaron) seems healthy again. Hurrah!

Work was looking like a huge disaster was going to happen - and then we found the fix and this week has just been getting things done. Love it when that happens.

The fact that work is somewhat 'smooth sailing' means that I'm going to be able to have a mini-vacation next week

My brother is visiting with my identical twin nieces. They are 13. I haven't seen them in over 3 years.

Aaron is staying home, and I'm taking the kids to meet them all (including my mom) at the cabin. My plan is to work during the day(at a friends cottage where they have Internet. Our cabin is still in the '70s. We only have a phone. Which is nice sometimes, awful at others) while everyone plays with my kids.

This plans has a few flaws... biggest being that Cam and Maggie have never met my brother and my nieces. Second biggest is that after lunch, I'm thinking my brother is going to be drinking a case of beer. Fingers crossed it works out.

We'll stay at the cabin until Weds, and then back here on Thursday - when we'll go to the Bolton Fair! My brother lives in Florida, so the girls have never been to a real country fair.

And then they leave on Saturday, where I'm thinking we'll send them off at a local balloon festival.

This week, I've gotten my immunizations for my India trip, and the outfit that I'm wearing to the wedding! Exciting!

Being Home and questions for the internets

2011-08-04T09:27:00.002-04:00

In the past week, I've been home for 2 days with each child. Both Maggie and Cam were hit with the current bug that is going around - sore throat and fever. I'm saying this is a bit of a caveat, but it is good, sometimes to have some one on one time with a sick kid. Remember, that I work full time, so my kids are in daycare full time. And our weekends are usually filled with fun things for both grown-ups and babies - especially in the summer. So, having a few days where they had to lay low, and I was with them for 48 hours straight - was fun to see the little people they are growing into.

Maggie was home with me last week, and without her brother around, is a super chatterbox! I never get to see that, because Cam is always talking over her. And a huge cuddler. I think a lot of it was being sick, and she wanted to be close, but once the fever broke and she was obviously feeling better - she was running around the living room, playing with all the toys - bringing them over and showing them to me... just a bundle of fun. But, interesting to watch, no one, NO ONE can make that girl smile like her brother. She was SO excited for him to get home from school and play with her - warms my heart.

The last two days, I've been home with Cam, who was hit a lot harder with this. Tuesday, he woke up with a fever of 102.5, and just laid on the couch and watched movies and slept. He was so out of sorts being sick. But yesterday? Yesterday he was a little slow in the morning, but then was full out, talking a mile a minute, and making up all these hilarious pretend games! So much fun to watch.

But - now I have some questions for you all. First. When Aaron and I are trying to talk about something - Cam always, always interrupts us. If we try to ignore him, he just gets louder and louder and louder until we are forced to stop what we are talking about and listen. In the car, if we are talking, he starts singing to himself and also gets louder and louder until it just isn't possible to talk. Many times I'll stop our conversation to ask him what he'd like, but other times, I'd just like to talk to Aaron and finish a freaking thought! But I love it that Cam is so happy to be with us and share - and sometimes I think maybe he's to young to explain about not interrupting. Thoughts? What do you guys do?

And pooping. My theory of just waiting until Cam was ready for potty training has worked so well. He pees in the potty all the time. No accidents, no issues. But he does it standing up like a 'big boy', which I think may be some of the issue. He never wants to try to poop in the potty, usually doing it in the morning in his diaper. Is this another thing I should just wait until he is ready? I'm fine with him wearing a diaper at night - but wondering what others did.

The last thing is bedtime/naps. Cam is a real pain now about sleeping. He pretty much never naps on Saturdays, and when he was home with me, once he was feeling better, he didn't want to nap. Last night, we didn't get him down to bed until 8, and he stayed awake until 9:20, using his pillow as a guitar, jumping up and down - until finally Aaron went in and read him another book and he went to sleep. Are naps over? If he doesn't nap, he is a bit of a basket case in the evening.... but he'll fall asleep faster (except last night). Sometimes we send him up for 'quiet time' which isn't really all the quiet, he sings and jumps around his bed like a monkey - but I don't get involved. A few times I've laid down with him and he will eventually nap - but that seems like a bad practice and sometimes I don't want to nap either!

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-07-29T11:51:00.001-04:00

Ah. Friday. How I love thee. Here are the leftovers from this week!

Cam is pretty much potty trained during the day. He is basically a Rock Star. My Aunt wants to take him out to give him a 'potty training present'. What does he want? A squirt gun. The irony is not lost on me.

Maggie has been somewhat cranky all week, and on Weds she ended up with a fever. I guess sore throat and fevers are going around - what the heck! It's summer! No time for sickness! But I was home with her Weds afternoon and Thursday... and I have to admit, cuddly babies are great. But then, she woke up from her nap on Thursday READY TO GO, so I was happy to bring her back to daycare today.

Because, I think we all know, working from home with an active, opinionated toddler isn't any fun. At one point, I was on the phone with my boss and I notice she has a tiny marble in her mouth (which, in other news - tiny marble? I didn't even know we owned any). I take it away and she starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. I had to hang up the phone.

No plans this weekend, just a free summer weekend. Love it.

I'm back into knitting, and I'm very happy. I don't know what turned me off it, but it's nice to be productive again. I'm actually starting up on Christmas presents!

I think that due to our low funds, I'm going to try and make all of the Christmas presents this year. And make them out of stash yarn (stuff I already have). This seems smart and doable. We shall see come November when I have nothing done, though.

I'm planning on doing some canning this weekend - nothing major, but definitely some blueberry jam and maybe peach. Those are favorites in this household.

Go visit Danifred for more Friday Night Leftovers!

Rookie Mistake

2011-07-26T10:27:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I was working from home and was feeling pretty good about things. I had a good day at work, I got dinner all ready to go for when Aaron got home with the kids, and I even made a special dessert (Pudding! In little Red Sox hat cups!). So I figured, when Cam got home, I would let him pick whatever he wanted for dinner. We do this every once in a while - Cam usually picks scrambled eggs.

So he runs upstairs from the car, I open the door and ask what he wants for dinner. He looks at me and I say - pick whatever you want, buddy! He runs to the freezer and yells ICE CREAM! And by this time, Maggie has made her way up the stairs and starts running in circles yelling ICE CEM ICE CEM ICE CEM.

Heavy sigh.

So I let them have hoodsies while we cooked the rest of dinner. Which was noodles, hot dogs and rice.

Weekend Leftovers

2011-07-25T08:59:00.002-04:00

Yeah. I missed the boat on Friday night leftovers, so I'm cheating.

The potty training continues. I'm not going to talk about it too much on the blog, because I'm thinking a teenage Cam would be pissed (hahaha) to find me sharing details here, but let's say it's going slowly.

My brother is officially visiting in a few weeks, and I'm really excited. He has identical twin girls who are 12, and I haven't seen them in over 3 years. I think we are going to have a blast.

It was SUPER hot here this weekend, but we pretty much spent the whole weekend outdoors - and loved it. I'm glad we did too. Because there was a time before AC and people managed to make it through the summers OUTSIDE. It saddens me how many people hide inside in the summer because it's 'too hot'

Saturday we started the day at the local lake. We got there early, about 2 hours before the lifeguards started and met friends there. The kids were having a BLAST playing and I was thinking how perfect the lake was. Maggie and spent a lot of time sticking our faces in the water and blowing bubbles.

When the lifeguards did start, they tested the water and shut down the lake for high levels of bacteria. Ew.

We had our picnic lunch, and then Maggie went home for a nap, while Cam and I went to a pool party! He had a blast and even tried to jump in off the side (you no touch me Mama.) He had on a life vest, and popped up on his own.... but wasn't a fan.

I finally got out of my bathing suit around 4 in the afternoon, and realized that staying in a bathing suit and getting in and out of the water makes a HUGE difference in the staying cool factor.

Sunday, we slowly started our day, waiting for a very close friend's daughter's first birthday party in the afternoon.

It was a two hour drive to Look Park, but we went on a train ride, sang Happy Birthday and even did the splash park, so the kids had a BLAST.

The two hour ride home was torture. Maggie had a blow out poop so we had to stop the car, and both children talked the ENTIRE. RIDE. HOME. I had such a headache when we finally pulled into the driveway. What the hell happened to kids that SLEPT in the car?

As I went to bed last night, I realized that we had the perfect summer weekend. So that was cool.

Day One

2011-07-20T13:08:00.002-04:00

Today I sent Cam to school in underpants. We've been doing the very very VERY laid back school of potty training. We talk about the potty. He sits on it and pees everyone once in a while - and just in the last week or so, he's been showing signs of being ready. A big help is that a few of his buddies are toilet trained and we were with a playdate with one of them. We were in their kiddie pool when Cam announced that he had to pee (he refuses to wear a swim diaper). His buddy takes him over the the spot in the yard where they pee. (the fact that they have a 'pee spot' in their yard is one of the many reasons I love these friends, by the way). And he peed there. More than once while we were there!

Everyone once in a while, I've showed Cam the Thomas the Train underpants we have. At first, he would FREAK OUT and run away yelling I NO LIKE UNDERPANTS. Which was counter to every thing my friends told me about the allure of Thomas the Train underpants. So I was nervous that I'd scarred him for life with the underpants. I stopped showing him the underpants and even talking about it.

But Monday morning, he found them and asked if he could wear them. I said sure, once you can pee and poop in the potty, they are yours. He looked at me, and said - "Otay". And last night, he went to the potty, and then asked for underpants. So we did it. Then we spent the rest of the evening in the pool with his bathing suit on. This morning, he asked for underpants again.

So I sent him to school in underpants.

He made it 4 hours with no accident! But then he had two accidents and told the director that 'I no like the bathroom'. He was pretty pissed (haha potty humor) and mad that they wouldn't let him wear the pair of underpants that he peed in. He didn't like any of the other 7 pairs of spare underpants I sent with him. Somehow, they convinced him to wear a pullup, and he is napping.

I'm interested to see what is opinion on underpants is after naptime.

The best piece of advice I got when I started talking about this whole potty training thing was to remember that it was HIS project, not mine. So I'm letting him run with it. Although I must admit, I'm excited to be done with diapers. Well. done with 50% of the diapers.

Summertime, and the living is easy.

2011-07-19T10:41:00.005-04:00

I'm the mom of an almost 20 month old, and a 2.5 year old. And I have to say, I'm loving it. They are great. Maggie definitely has opinions (STRONG OPINIONS) and is sort of an asshole at times, but I love it. I love watching her assert herself and make her opinions known even though she isn't really talking all that much. Every once in a while I worry I little about the lack of talking, and then she looks at me straight in the face and says - "Ice Kem, mama!' and walks over and opens the freezer.

There is that.

And Cameron is totally getting into imaginative play - which couldn't be more fun to watch. Like at the beach on Sunday, they have a big dock on the beach. It's a new floating dock that they just haven't put in the water yet. He is playing around on the beach, and notices it. He walks over, crawls under it... I walk over to make sure there isn't TOO much trouble he can get into, and he tells me it's his workshop and he is fixing things. Then Maggie comes over and he puts her to work - FIX DIS MAGS.

I also started having a 'real' dinner in the dining room each night. Which I love. Aaron likes to eat in front of the TV, and I kind of hate it. I haven't been pushing doing family dinner - but then I started noticing that Maggie eats so much better when we sit and eat with her. So, just last week I started making one dinner for all of us. Cam helps set the table, Maggie helps put ice cubes in every one's glass... and we eat together. It's fun. I like it, even if Cam maybe sits for about 10 minutes totally before he asks to be 'cuzed? Pez?'. Adult conversation is interrupted every two words with random toddler observations like 'Mama! I drinking MILK!'.

So yeah. Is having two toddlers a lot of work? Yes. But watching the little people they are turning into is pretty awesome too.

Friday night leftovers

2011-07-15T09:20:00.002-04:00

I'm crazy excited for this weekend. The weather is going to be AWESOME and we have no pressing plans. I'm probably going to take the kids to the lake.

Aaron worked almost 24 hours in a row yesterday. So I thought I would surprise him with a steak (we rarely eat red meat). I got him this insane bone-in cowboy steak. He was very, very happy.

Today is 'beach day' at the kid's daycare. I was supposed to pack them bathing suits, a swim diaper and towels. I totally forgot, but in the truck of my car, I had everything they needed. Aaron calls me a slob. I say I'm prepared for anything, lol.

How is it that I never tried flavored half and half. Hurrah!

I used to sit and knit all the time. The last 6-8 months I haven't been. All of a sudden, I'm back to it. Makes me happy. I'm working on a couple of Christmas presents and a fun sweater for Cam. If I remember correctly, I stopped knitting because the kids wouldn't wear sweaters at all last winter. Interesting how I have totally blocked it out and have started knitting for them again.

In reference to the point above, it's probably good that I got my tubes tied when the twins were born - because I've also blocked out the horror that Maggie was as a newborn and could possibly be tricked into another newborn. Except I'll never forget that babies can also die and I KNOW I can't handle even thinking about that again.

Washing dogs. You guys really don't? Do your dogs stink? Mine kind of do - so I get nervous that my house smells like stinky dog (not enough to wash them, though)

And I loved every one's comments on my SAHM mom lust. I'm glad no one got offended and totally understood what I was trying to say.

Things that make me laugh

2011-07-14T13:06:00.002-04:00

I always have funny stories about the gang, but I never think to share them here. So today, I'll tell you things that Cam and Maggie do that totally crack me up.

Often, Maggie doesn't want to hold my hand. But she'll hold Cameron's. So I'll ask him to hold Maggie's hand while we walk through the parking lot. He sticks out his hand and says 'Come on, Mags!'

Both kids have a nasty summer cold. This morning, Maggie had a HUGE booger hanging out of her nose. I had my back to the kids making lunches. Cam noticed the booger, and said - 'Maggie! Don't booger me!' I turn around, and see Maggie stick her finger up her nose and then start chasing Cam around the kitchen with her booger. Nice, huh? The girl rarely talks, but she already knows how to torture her brother.

Speaking of boogers, Cam was picking his nose in the backseat. He 'hit gold' and was asking me for a wipe to wipe it off. It was raining, and I was actually trying to pay attention while driving, and I told him to just 'flick it'. He then showed his buddies at school how to flick their boogers. I know this because numerous parents came up to me and told me their sons are now flicking boogers because Cam showed them how. Sigh.

When Cam farts, he laughs and tells me that his butt is talking.

Did I already tell you guys that Cam often says OK - but like Buckwheat - O'Tay!

I can't think of any other's - but I love this age. Both kids are super funny, testing limits but still finding joy in little things that we take for granted.

My Life

2011-07-13T11:32:00.002-04:00

I often wonder about my life. I choose to be a work-away from the house mom. Full time. In the immediate short term, sometimes this seems silly. The amount we pay in day-care, cleaning lady fees and for dream dinners (things that make the house run) makes it seem as though we are barely coming out ahead sometimes. Aaron and I never discussed me staying at home, at least not truly seriously. Because, mostly, I can't picture it. When I was home on maternity leave, I was honestly MORE stressed out than I was at work. Performance testing? Statistics? Office politics? This, I can handle. Sure, sometimes it's BS, but I can totally handle it.

Child care? Full time? Totally stresses me out. I know that I would obviously get better at it, not be so worried about 'engaging' them 24X7. I know that many people think that being at home with your kids is what is best for them, but my children are flourishing at their daycare. They have wonderful friends, a great sense of self-confidence, and learn so much there. And the teachers are so loving - it's like they have a second family.

And, let's be honest - I wouldn't flourish as a stay at home mom. That is just not my thing. I don't have the patience, the stamina... did I mention patience? So, while maybe we would save some money in these first few years of their life if I stayed at home, I think that the start in life I'm giving them is pretty awesome. I'm keeping my job of 10+ years and staying current and employable. And happy (most of the time) to be in an industry that I like with good colleagues. Maybe I would feel different if I didn't have such a perfect childcare situation, but seems to me that we are all doing great in the life we have.

But I'll tell you what. This morning the kids and I got up a little earlier, and I was working from home, so was able to devote a good 2 hours to housecleaning and organizing before my work day started. I went into my guest room/craft room to get it ready for my stepmother's visit next weekend, and it's a mess. I needed to organize the kids winter clothes. I needed to iron linen (WTF was I thinking when I bought these?!?!)napkins and place mats from a dinner we had over a month ago. I had craft supplies overflowing the table in there. In those 2 free hours, I got the whole room in tip-top shape (sure, many things were jammed in the closet), laundry done and stuff organized.

I wonder if I was a stay at home mom, if it would be different. If, even though I had the kids with me all of the time (which is where I just don't understand how SAHM's do it! How do you clean with a 2.5 year old 'helping'? How long does a grocery store run take when you have to change diapers twice?) I have this vision that things at home would be more under control. Like I could iron while the kids play. Or pop in laundry and actually fold it and put it away when it finished. Maybe wash the dogs more often than once every 3 months. Or spend a nice leisurely day at the beach. In the few hours the kids ARE with me, it mostly either getting them ready for daycare, or winding down after daycare (which is a tight routine. We play for about 45 minutes, then have dinner, do baths, books and bed). Not much flexibility - which again, I think the children thrive with the routine we have. When I'm working, I don't feel like I have a few minutes to organize something. If I do, the kids are asleep in the room that I need to put things away in. Or Aaron and I are trying to sit down and reconnect after our workdays over dinner and I put things off.

What the heck am I trying to say? Who knows. I guess I'm daydreaming about the ideal. Where I stay at home, keeping a perfect house with perfect kids and no regrets about leaving the workforce.... oh yeah. And money is no object.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

An amazing weekend, in pictures.

2011-07-07T09:22:00.004-04:00

The family drama was kept at a minimum... and the kids had a wonderful time in Nantucket. First hit of the trip was Aaron's old rocking horse. Both kids LOVED it. Betsy wanted us to take it home, but we didn't have space in the car.

Another HUGE hit for the kids was riding on BIG bikes. Driving around Nantucket is a pain in the ass. Everyone has HUGE SUVs and the roads aren't wide. It takes forever to get anywhere. Betsy had one of these co-pilot seats, and both kids loved riding so much, we rented another. Aaron and I had a blast going for what I think was our first bike ride since 2003. We forgot how much fun it was to ride, and I had to say - it was also a blast having a mini-cheering section right behind you. "GO MAMA! FASTER!"

On the 4th of July, we hit Main St and all the activities that were there. Both Maggie and Cam got flags painted on their faces, and we explored and waited for the annual water fight. Maggie managed to dig in the dirt between the cobblestones... because she manages to sit in dirt wherever we go.

I don't have pictures of the waterfight, but you can go here. They actually pull out the town firetrucks!

After a good long nap, the kids woke up and we had some time to burn before going to see the fireworks, so we explored Betsy's backyard. Her house abuts conservation land, with plenty of trees to climb. (And ticks. I got one, Cam had two).

Finally, we hit the launch to Aaron's Uncle's boat for dinner and fireworks. Maggie LOVED riding on the launch:

And Cam just loved running around the boat and waving to everyone that passed by.

I was surprised at how well both kids did staying up that late. We didn't get home until 10, and both were up and excited to watch the fireworks. Cam still calls them 'bubbles in the sky!' which is too cute. The best part about watching them from a boat is that they aren't loud at all.

The 5th was our final day, and we couldn't leave without a final visit to the family bake shop. Both kids had Boston cream donuts (Mom too) and after we got all the chocolate off their faces, we took a picture under the sign.

On the ferry ride home, Maggie passed out on the deck the second the boat pulled away. Cam managed to stay awake until the car, but was passed out before we pulled out of the parking lot.

Couldn't have asked for a more fun family vacation... although I'm still recovering from all the 'fun'.

Show up

2011-06-30T09:22:00.002-04:00

I wish I could get past the hurt that Aaron's brother did by not coming to Nora's funeral. I can't. And the pain is just as raw today as it was 18 months ago. A Little Pregnant tweeted a post from The Spectrum this morning, and I want everyone I know to read it, and understand how important it is to show up.

Please read this.

The quote that hit me was this "You show up," my mother told me, a little lost in the memory. "It's awkward and uncomfortable but you just. show. up."

And of course, she is mentioning just how hard it to know what to do when someone dies. Do you show up? Bring food? Flowers? Hug? Not hug? Laugh? Cry? Because it's is awkward. But this is the time in life where you suck it up and go to the wake and be there and flounder and find what you can do to help in what is usually an awful time. And know that you are doing your best. Even if it's just walking over, mumbling 'I'm sorry' and giving a hug. It shows you care.

For me, it goes a step further. No matter what other bullshit is going on in your relationship with that person, if someone you love has a death in the family - you show up. You support them. You let them know, no matter what else may be going on in the background, that your love for them in that moment is more important than anything else right then.

We didn't get that from Aaron's brother. And it hurts deeply. It still saddens me. That something as tragic as our daughters death was made that much worse by something as easy to do as just showing up. He didn't have to be center stage and hold Aaron's hand during the memorial service, but if he was just THERE it would have made a huge difference. It would have shown he loved Aaron unconditionally. But he didn't.

Please please please, if you question what to do when someone dies, think of this post and just show up. It means more that you can even imagine.

Mom's weekend leftovers

2011-06-28T10:34:00.002-04:00

Ah yes. Back to work after 4 days off. I started the mini-vacation by taking the kids to the cabin by myself Thursday night, met Aaron at the wedding Saturday, and then headed off Sunday, without kids. for 2 nights.

I will start out by saying that portable DVD players are AWESOME. We never had these types of things when I was a kid, so I thought they were stupid. ‘My kids can just READ in the car’ I would say. But, then I got one for cheap from a friend and I used it for the first time on the drive to the cabin. The kids loved it. And it was an added bonus to have with us when we had 2 full days of rain at the cabin. Only used it once, but it was a lifesaver when I was tryingt o get ready for the wedding and couldn’t send them outside to play.

Both kids were GREAT at the cabin. They slept well, had fun exploring... and we really had a great time.

They share a room there - Maggie in a crib and Cam in a 'big boy bed' and it works out perfect.

Although, my mom makes me nervous in that all she does is talk about all these people that are ‘awful’. I asked if she liked ANYONE at one point, and she said 'I only really have trouble with 6 people'. She sure takes up a lot of her energy venting about those 6 people, though.

Saturday, I stressed about getting the kids to nap early so they'd be ready for the wedding. What a disaster. First, they wouldn't sleep, and then when they finally did, I had to wake them up to get ready for the wedding. Maggie cried from the point I woke her up until we got to the wedding 1.5 hours later. Which. Was. Awful.

Surprisingly, once we got to the wedding, she was happy and sweet and we were able to stay until 8:30.

The wedding was beautiful and it was great to see Aaron's best friend get married and hang out with people we rarely get to see.

I had this whole long speech I wanted to give but I started talking and panicked. Which I totally regret. I should have written it down. I still plan on just writing everything I wanted to say and sending it to him.

Sunday was a day of rest for us. But Aaron was crabby and I was crabby and let's just say THANK GOD I had a little retreat planned for myself.

After bedtime, my friend Tara and I drove up to Loon Mountain where her MIL has a timeshare, and we had the most wonderful time. We got a little drunk, slept in, went for a mini-hike at the top of the mountain, relaxed, got massages, got a little drunk again, and played cards.

Got up earlish this morning, drove to work with minimal traffic and I feel like a new woman.

Note to self: don't wait 2.5 years to have my next night away from the kids.

Here I am! New Cece!

2011-06-23T10:19:00.004-04:00

Well, not really new. This picture is taken at the office, after a rather harrowing morning (details after the picture). I ended up going with a shoulder length long layer cut. And a FULL foil - which thankfully Aaron didn't even notice and I think looks pretty natural and brightens me up a lot.

Yesterday I also went to the mall and got new bras (I needed a strapless one for my red dress, and once you try on a new bra, they are like potato chips, you can't have just one) and also got new foundation and some white eye shadow. That was a tip I got from Cecily, and figured I could give it a try. AND I got my eyebrows waxed. So this morning, I was ready to face the day - new hair, shaped brows, make-up and uplifted boobs!

This morning was a good test of my new routine. If by good, you mean MORNING FROM HELL. But I digress. Tonight, after work, I want to go straight to the cabin. So last night I got the car mostly packed, and took a shower (but didn't wash my hair). I woke up this morning, brushed out my hair, quickly washed my face and did makeup and got the kids. And this is of course where things started going south.

Cam is SUPER excited for the cabin. He apparently thinks we are going fishing. So he was up and out of bed and ready to go. Packing up his bag with his binkie and his blankets and books.... while I was getting Maggie dressed. Maggie then wanted to be held. While I was trying to dress Cam and get everyone downstairs PLUS the big bag with every single blankie, stuffed animal, book and pillow Cam could fit in. So she was at my heels crying UP UP UP UP - which was a nice touch.

Then I got downstairs, and realized that I didn't have a decent 'car' supper to fed them - so we would have to swing my the grocery store. Have I mentioned I can't get Maggie to stop crying? THEN I remember that someone is coming to pick up the music table I'm selling, but of course it's raining and I'm leaving it outside, so I need to figure that out too.

Get downstairs (in about three trips with all the baggage), with Maggie crying the entire time - to see that one of my tires is low. It's hot and muggy, so I'm sweating. And running around in the rain trying to pump up my tires... and I finally get everything set, in the car (Maggie has stopped crying, thank the gods) and we are off.

So, that picture is after sleeping on the hair and just brushing it out, sweating on the makeup, walking around in the rain.... and I think it's a success!

Help - hair advice needed! Poll on blog!

2011-06-21T13:31:00.005-04:00

Hi all! I need hair help in a huge way. I basically have long hair that I wear pulled back every single day. And I know it looks awful and I need to do something better. So tomorrow, I'm off for a foil and a cut. I haven't gotten a color in over 10 years, and my last hair cut was July 4th weekend last year. If I'm going to do it, I want it to be a change. A good change. But would like some feedback from my dear blog buddies.

This picture shows the disaster that is my current hair situation. See below? On the left, the 'right' haircut for a round face. On the right, what I do every day.

So, we see that change is sorely needed, if even this lady who obviously spends more than 5 minutes getting ready looks awful with a ponytail. So here are my options. Please remember that I currently get out of bed and ready to go for the day in 5-10 minutes. So I don't want something that will take me FOREVER to accomplish.

ETA: I do have a small bit of natural wave to my hair, especially if I let it dry naturally.

Picture one, long layers

Picture two, long bob

Picture three, long layer again, but different

Please help me decide! I'm freaking out about maybe cutting it short - but I need to stop pulling it back all the time!

Success, Success, Success

2011-06-20T16:04:00.004-04:00

I'm a winner today. A bunch of things have worked out well that I have been planning and it makes me happy.

The Block Party is the first big success. The weather was perfect, everyone showed up and had fun! The bounce house was a hit with everyone (even Maggie was in it a few times), the band rocked, and party went on until 1 AM. I called it quits at 11 - knowing that the kids would be up nice and early Sunday morning. The only thing that we will change in the future is not stressing on the organized stuff. The scavenger hunt was a HUGE hit, but after that - the kids just wanted to run around and have fun on their own. No adults played bocce, no wiffle ball was played, no volleyball. There was a water balloon fight though.

My bright red dress has arrived, and it fits wonderfully. I definitely need a new bra, but this woman knows how to make a plus sized dress. I need to just 'work it' because I haven't worn a sleeveless dress in ages - but it's almost like wearing nothing - so comfy and light and fun.

And finally, the wedding that the dress is for? I decided to make the couple a quilt at the last minute and it is awesome. Wanna see?
OK. That crappy iPhone pictures isn't doing it justice, but it's a cool quilt. The fabric is hand-marbled with sparkles in it. But the coolest? I had my quilter put in their name and wedding date, plus a 'much love from Aaron and Cece' in it:

Cool? No?

I was happy to see Monday today. It was a great weekend, but I'm glad to have the kids under someone else care for a bit, sit down and relax (physically). Of course, work is still freaking out, but at least they need me, right?

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-06-17T09:37:00.004-04:00

Cameron is doing this REALLY annoying thing of thinking it's HILARIOUS to run away from me. Yesterday, he did it at daycare and I grabbed him. He somehow managed to hit my toenail with his shoe and rip it off. I. Can. Not. Explain. The. Pain.

This morning, he used that SAME toe to stand on to help him get into the car. AUUUGH.

The block party prep is in full force, and there is a small chance things have gotten away from me. The other two women who are helping me plan aren't going to be around the hours before it starts... and I'm getting nervous.

There is going to be a bounce house, games for the little kids, face painting, temporary tattoos, grills, a wiffle ball game, a bocce tournament, a band, water balloons, scavenger hunt, limbo contest, a fire pit.....

Shit. Now that I've listed it all out I'm freaking out.

Work also sucks this week

I'm planning a mom's getaway next Sunday - Tuesday. There will be sleeping in, earplugs, alcohol, massages and no kids for 36 hours. I need it.

And Father's day is this weekend! Aaron doesn't want to do anything, but we are planning on going to the Collings Foundation to see the airplanes.

Cute Baby Pictures

2011-06-16T13:34:00.004-04:00

Very busy here, working and prepping for the block party this weekend - but I couldn't leave you all high and dry! I will appease the blog with sweet baby pictures.

The gang, having a 'picnic' dinner:

Maggie, with the new Rabbit toy I knit.

Cameron, claiming the Bunny as his own and making it obvious I need to knit 2:

Maggie, with her definition of ONE cookie:

And Cam at the ballgame with Daddy!

'I want DADA!"

2011-06-14T12:30:00.002-04:00

This weekend was a ton of fun stuff for the kids:

Ed the Music Man Saturday morning

Thomas the Train on the big screen for Cam

End of year church picnic on Sunday morning

Birthday party for a friend Sunday night (Cam stayed home with Daddy, while Maggie was the bell of the ball in a cute little party dress)

Triple A baseball for Cam and Aaron on Monday night

Dinner out with Mama for Maggie on Monday night

Last night, when Aaron got home with Cam from the baseball game (at 8:30 PM - very tired little boy), Aaron went out of the room and Cam yells I WANT DADA! So I moved over to where Aaron was standing, and Cam says 'NO Mama. That where Dada goes.'.

Trying hard not to get bitter that Aaron is getting 100% of the credit for all the fun things that I find to send him and Cam too! Although it's pretty awesome how much Cam loves his daddy. And Maggie is still mine, all mine.

Getting support

2011-06-09T09:45:00.002-04:00

I've had this post in my head for a while, but it's kind of hard to write. And then I've read a few great posts (Calliope and Rachael in particular), and it's forcing me to share with you all.

I like to think of myself as a tough broad. That is also how I viewed my mother. Raising me as a single mom, she had her own business and maintained two households on her own. Now that I've been through what I've been through - my mom has revealed herself to me. She is just as big of a mushball as I am. We are the human equivalent of Brach's Strawberry BonBons (hard on the outside and soft on the inside). Even before IF, I'd managed to go through so really crappy times. I had an ex who hit me, and when I moved out (right after he hit me that first time, Mama didn't raise no dummy) he stalked me and threatened to kill me. That was fun. And then my next boyfriend managed to get a hold of my credit card and charge up $18,000. That was an interesting find when I kicked him out (for other reasons). Both times I managed to pick myself off, dust myself off, and move on. Mostly alone. I just dealt with it.

Then I went through IF. And the ectopic, the miscarriage, the birth of my son, finding out we were having twins, a twin pregnancy along with caring for a baby... and the death of Nora. Somewhere along that path, I realized I just wasn't THAT tough. And I didn't NEED to be. I leaned on Aaron. I shared here - not only to help me, but to let others going through the same things know they weren't alone. I cultivated my circle of friends. We moved into a 'real' neighborhood, where people CARE about each other. We joined the local church. All of that? It makes even the most painful of events bearable.

But. And this is a BIG but. You need to reach out first. You need to make connections. Be a friend. Say hi to that neighbor. Which is hard, DAMN hard, when you feel like shit. But it's helped me immensely. I call it 'faking it until I make it' - and it's served me well. I signed up for a quilt class 7 years ago. The woman in that class, we just clicked with each other. So we kept meeting. And meeting. And now, 7 years later, 2 of those woman are the godmothers to my daughter. It's group of woman who would (and have) swoop in and make things better. Sure, on my saddest days, I've have to FORCE myself to go and sit and sew. But it's been a lifeline.

In my neighborhood, I've taken on the task of a block party. Is it a pain in the ass? Oh hell yes. But already I've noticed people coming out of their houses and hanging out more. I think it's great. And I've started up a card night with friends (which reminds me, I need to schedule one soon!). And, yes, friendships on the internet are great - but in person contact is SO important and as a busy working mom - it's definitely the first thing to go. But having someone to come over and just sit and hang out with you when you are sad and lonely? It's wonderful. (Suzanne, Tara and Tarsha - if you are reading this - thank you). Or someone to force you to step away from the babies for a night and enjoy a movie? (Amanda?) And if you don't have people close - it's just as wonderful to have our computer friends (like when my Jen was going through losing Luke - I can't tell you how hard I was pushing good thoughts through the keyboard at her).

I guess what I'm saying is that on the outside, I joke around and act like a tough gal. But on the inside I'm a big ball of mush and having the wonderful friends and connections that I've been able to make over the past ten years - it's priceless. And I task other busy woman out there to take the time and cultivate your own circles. Throw your own block parties or card parties or even start a craft night. It's more than just a night out - it's a support network that god save you, I hope you only need for venting about annoying (but otherwise wonderful) husbands.

Dress Input please

2011-06-07T11:43:00.003-04:00

I love this dress. I want to get it to wear to a friend's (afternoon, outdoor) wedding.

Thoughts? Remembering that I'm MUCH larger than the model (but this is from etsy - so the woman is doing a custom size for me). I think it'll look great on a plus sized person, but double-checking with my peeps. I'm thinking that my boobs will ROCK in this dress and the fun poofy skirt is a good thing - any fashionistas out there to help me?

How to throw an awesome party

2011-06-06T10:59:00.004-04:00

Does anyone have memories of your Mom throwing cocktail parties? The excitement of a PARTY at your house (and it wasn't even any one's birthday!). And getting to see grown-ups at your house, and as you got older, maybe even helping 'serve'. I've mentioned before, but Aaron and I used throw a lot of dinner parties - Aaron is a great cook, and I love having people over. But I've found it's hard when little kids are in the mix. Now that my kids are somewhat older - I've found a great solution.

We have big open living room. Which we built with the idea of kids in mind. The whole area is pretty much childproofed, and there are plenty of toys for all ages. So what we do is I invite people to come over at around 5:30 or 6. The grown ups get a cheese plate, and the kids get a big 'party table' (a folding 6 foot table with a cheap plastic cover and balloons. Always get balloons).I feed the kids hot dogs, brownies and ice cream while the grown up mill around and talk and play with the kids.

In the meantime, I have the dining room set up with candles, real silverware, linens... and the 'grown up' dinner. Once all the kids are fed, I take tired Maggie upstairs, the guests are all chatting happily, and Aaron serves up grown up dinner. Then, the kids all all comfortable enough with each other that they play in the living room, while the grown ups can eat and drink and relax in the dining room! It's awesome!

Cam stayed up with the 'big kids' (I think the oldest was 10) until everyone left at 9:30 - and everyone had a great time.

I'm too excited about Groupon

2011-06-02T09:57:00.003-04:00

They say that finding a good deal is as great as good sex. I'm not so sure about that, but I have been in a rather good mood over the past great deals I've gotten on Groupon. If you don't do Groupon, you totally should.

Just this past week I've gotten two awesome deals. First was $45 for 6 meals at Dream Dinners. Where I go every single month to make my food. That normally would have cost me $70. Sweet! I must have re-read the fine print 100 times to be sure that existing customers could use that deal. Which we could - hurrah!

Perhaps you remember that I took Mom to the Red Sox for Mother's Day. Since then, Cam has been talking about going to a BASEBALL GAME! "Daddy take me?". So I was looking around for a minor league game to go to - since I work in Lowell, I really only knew of the Lowell Spinners. But then, on Groupon, there was a deal for $14 for 2 VIP tickets plus 2 baseball hats with the Worcester Tornadoes. So I got that, figuring Aaron could take him one night. Of course, I screwed up and bought it twice. I tried to call the 1-800 number to get a refund, and was on hold for forever so just gave up. The groupon said to call a phone number to reserve your tickets... and when I called, the guy was like, um - that was a mistake. Just show up with your groupon the day of the game, we usually don't sell out.

Yeah. Can you envision that? Cam, wanna go to a baseball game with Daddy!? Oh, too bad buddy, they sold out. That would go over AWESOME.

So he told me I could also come to the corporate offices, and pick up the tickets there. I did that last night, and I was joking around with the guy - saying that 4 baseball hats was a bit much (hoping he would maybe give us a tee shirt or something instead) and he told me that if we went to the June 13th game - which was when I was planning on going - the baseball hats they had ordered for this deal wouldn't be in yet, so they were going to give out 2 more free tickets! Love it. So I've gotten 6 tickets for $28 (plus 2 baseball hats).

I just love a good deal. Love it.

More Random

2011-06-01T09:02:00.002-04:00

But no pictures today!

First exciting bit of news is that I'm back at the gym. I went on Saturday with some prompting from my cousins who were visiting, and I forgot how great it makes me feel. Every. Single. Time. I get it when they say that people who are depressed should exercise - and how hard it is to convince those people to do it. It IS hard to get off your ass. And in my case, I feel like I don't get anything out of it (because I don't lose weight) but I do! I slept like a rock last night, and I just feel better after working out. So I'm going to try to stick with this. But not put pressure on myself to do it.

I want the Old Navy Gay Pride shirts for my kids. But they aren't being sold online and only in 26 stores. One is in MA, so I'm going to call and see if I can get them. And no. I don't think I'm using my kids as a political platform. My values, that I'm trying to instill in my children, are based around the rule 'Do unto others as you would have them do onto you'. And our church teaches us to Stand on Side of Love. That is what I do everyday (or at least try to) and I hope to teach my children to do the same. So yep, Cam and Maggie will be wearing those shirts (assuming I can get them) - I feel that we should support a 'big box' retailer that is putting themselves out there for a cause that is controversial

I've gone from someone who used to knit or quilt every day to barely knitting once a week! I'm just not inspired. Besides that it's wicked hot (which has never stopped me from knitting in the past) both kids were refusing to wear ANY sweater/fleece/sweatshirt by the end of the winter - and I'm just not into spending the time to knit something that won't be worn. I'm test knitting a cute stuffed bunny pattern, so I hope that kicks my creative side back into gear!

And finally, I'm starting to worry about what to wear to this wedding I'm going to in India! I need to find a store in the area where I can see what I look like in some of the outfits people are recommending for me.

Bullet point post

2011-05-31T09:43:00.008-04:00

A great weekend! Aaron and I have come to an understanding - I try to curb my desire to plan and schedule the crap out of every weekend, and he is working on going out with the kids and playing instead of wanting to stay home and work on the house. We are working on it. This was a long weekend, and Aaron arrived home from his trip on Saturday morning. We did a lot of fun little things:

First, I am happy to report that all was right in the world when Maggie got home to find a pool there. Both kids had a blast in it

One downfall is that Cam would not put on a swim diaper nor a bathing suit. So I let him go in naked. And now he INSISTS on being naked in the pool. Which is fine at home, but what about other places? Anyone else deal with this? I'm talking about full on sobbing when I try to get a bathsuit/swim diaper on

I went to spin class Saturday morning! I haven't been to the gym in ages, and it felt great.

Saturday morning we went over to help plant veggies with our family. Cam and Maggie were totally into helping - it was cute

I wish I had the picture of Maggie basically covered in dirt (you can see her in the picture above, she sat next to me while I planted and dumped dirt all over her legs) but my cousin's finger was on the lens

This was all done with Aaron's cousins (this is the Aunt and Uncle that live in our same town - his Aunt considers our kids her grandkids - and they LOVE it there) is working a a project called Foodstalk - encouraging people to buy local food - check it out.

Saturday night, we got a babysitter and went out for the longest date we ever have gone on - dinner AND a movie! We were out for 5 hours! Of course, it was with a big group of our family, but it was a blast. We saw Hangover 2 - totally worth it.

Sunday morning we hit the local park and just played around the house. Aaron even mowed our neighbors lawn - they were away on vacation, and it was really long.

Sunday morning we tried out a new breakfast place the next town over. It was great, and we realized that the Memorial Day parade would be starting soon. So we stayed. Cam and Maggie helped place flags at the town's veteran's memorial:

And Cam waved his flag high!

The weekend ended with a picnic at our Aunt and Uncle's - and two super tired kids crashed when we put them to bed. And we did soon after

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-05-27T11:16:00.004-04:00

This morning was Maggie's 18 month check up. She is doing awesome. Which I already knew. She is almost 32 inches tall, and up to 26 pounds! So she had a big growth spurt.

She also got shots. Which made her very mad at me.

I'm hoping that my plan to get her a kiddie pool to play in will get me back in her good graces

Remember the balance bike we got Cam for his birthday? He doesn't like it because "It no have pedals Momma".

So a friend offered up her son's trike, and he is in heaven.

Tonight, the big excitement will hopefully be Maggie in the kiddie pool and Cam pedaling around to his hearts content.

And that is about all the plans we have for the weekend too - which is kind of cool

For more Friday Night Leftovers, visit Danifred!

On my own

2011-05-26T12:02:00.002-04:00

Aaron is off with friends in New Mexico at a surprise party for a good friend, so I've been on my own with the kids. He'll be back for the long weekend - but I have to tell you, it's kind of no big deal anymore to have the kids alone. They are so easy. (perhaps jinxing myself?) And the weather FINALLY is glorious. So I get the kids off to daycare in the morning, and then, after work - I get them, eat a quick dinner, and then hang out outside until bedtime. It's a blast.

Speaking of dinner, I have been feeling a bit guilty about the kids food choices. I went on a tear for a while trying new things, but if I'm honest they eat only the following: eggs, waffles/pancakes, nuggets, french fries, PB & J, pasta, mac and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. And any type of fruit. No veggies. So I tried a couple new recipes recently - and while not all were a hit - Maggie freaking LOVES this one.

ENERGY BALLS (the 12 year old boy in me laughs at this)
1/4 cup finely grated carrots
1/4 cup rolled oats or Granola*
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1 Tablespoon honey
3 Tablespoons peanut butter

Mix and roll into balls. I used granola - and such a hit. I got the recipe off this website, and I already made the meatballs (they weren't a HIT but Cam ate a few). Tonight I'm going to try the 'nugget' recipe.

Wordless Wednesday: Not Sharing

2011-05-25T08:52:00.002-04:00

Learning new stuff - Video Tuesday!

2011-05-24T09:41:00.004-04:00

This weekend, Maggie started saying things that make sense. Like 'outside!' and 'shirt'. Gotta love that girl, she goes from 0-60. I was slowly waking up while Aaron was getting her out of the bed, and I could hear the cutest exchange. Aaron had opened up the curtains and was looking outside with Maggie:

A: Look at all the pretty flowers outside, Maggie.
M: Out SIDE!
A: Laughing - That's right Maggie! Outside!
M: Out SIDE! Out SIDE! YEAH!

And she is just so god damn cute when she talks - it kills you. She would walk over to me - look up and say 'Shirt?' as she tried to take her shirt off. And when I said No - the look. She has this killer look that will serve her well in life, trust me. I've GOT to get a picture of it.

Here she is this morning. She now can get into her carseat all by herself, and she is VERY proud of herself. But today, she sat in the middle, and wouldn't get out.

Now Cam. His big excitement this weekend was figuring out how to pedal a bike. I have been trying to teach him - but I've found it's kind of a hard skill to teach. So I'd stopped trying - I knew he'd figure it out soon enough. We went to a party where there was a tennis court, and when I wasn't looking, hopped on someone else's trike and figured it out!

Tattoos

2011-05-23T10:30:00.004-04:00

Well. We did it. I went on Friday, and Aaron went on Saturday. We both have pretty awesome tattoos.

Here is mine (on the inside of my right calf)

A take-off from Tertia's with more color and a cherry blossom.

And Aaron's is also awesome.

The kids are totally fascinated with them. And I just love love love both.

Anniversary

2011-05-19T09:59:00.005-04:00

On May 22nd, we are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary. 7 years seems so long, but so short all at the same. I feel like I've know Aaron my whole life, when we actually met in June of 2001.

We don't usually exchange gifts. We either go out to dinner or make something nice at home. But I've been pushing for a pandora bracelet for a while now, and I think he finally got the hint (as in he asked me today what size I would need). So I think I'll get all romantic and get him this:

Hahahahahhaa. Teasing. I saw this over at Rants From Mommyland and it totally cracked me up.

Teacher's gifts

2011-05-18T15:24:00.004-04:00

I've been quilting with a group of friends for about 7 year now. Most of them have children, and I've seen them sew like crazy ladies for end of the year teacher gifts. And I thought they were a bit crazy.

And now, I'm doing the same thing. Cam is more than a little bit excited to move up to the pre-school room, and although he doesn't officially make the transition until July - he has been spending quiet a lot of time there. Here are the fireman pillowcases I told you about last week:

I brought them to daycare during naptime, and I think they were a hit. Although the look on one of the teacher's face was that she was expecting more. Sigh. Sometimes you can't win.

We love the music man

2011-05-16T10:27:00.002-04:00

We had a super fun weekend, again. I have an awesome idea for my tattoo - and I'll wait to show you all until it's on. And permanent.

Let me share a heart-melting moment with Cam and Ed the Music Man.

Ed: Did we all tell our Mommy's that we loved them on Mother's day?
Cam: (stands up right in front of Ed) I LOVE MY MOMMY!
Ed: Great.
Cam: I LOVE MOMMY! (points at me)
Ed: Chuckles, and says - ok, who wants to learn a new song?
Cam: MEME!

Then they learn Skinny marinky dinky dink Skinny marinky doo, I love you. Skinny marinky dinky dink, Skinny marinky do - I love you!

And he ran around and sang me that song all day.

Damn it I love these kids.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-05-13T13:16:00.002-04:00

This afternoon, Aaron and I are going for a consult on our family tattoos. Aaron is still sticking with the footprints. I'm undecided.

I kind of want to do something like Tertia

But then I like the idea of Cherry Blossoms. Like Nora's tree. I keep thinking about it - because you know what - those flowers blossom for about a week.

Nora was with us for 6 days. When I made that connection, it freaked me out a little. Makes that tree even more perfect.

We've got a low key weekend planned but it's funny how excited Cam is about it. We try to not tell him about stuff in advance (I learned my lesson with the whole Easter bunny thing) but his best friend's dad told him Weds that we are going together to see the Music Man on Saturday morning. Every morning he asks - We go Music Man Now?

So. Saturday we go to the Music Man. I'll try to take a video

And Sunday, we are going to see the Olivia movie with Cam's 'girlfriend'. My friend who lives 3 houses away has a daughter that is a week older than Cam.

I'm starting the couch to 5K program on Monday. There will be a LOT of jiggling.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-11T11:27:00.002-04:00

She had this smile all day. Love my mom.

My morning

2011-05-10T11:56:00.003-04:00

Each morning, I wait until Maggie or Cam wakes up until I get out of bed. Or until after 7 AM - because the rule is that no one gets taken out of bed until at least 7 AM. I don't set an alarm, because someone is always making noise by 7:30 at the latest. And, even if they did sleep crazy late, most of the people I work with don't get in until 9. Usually, Cam wakes up and sings whatever song is in his head until I come get him. If I take too long, he assumes I'm taking a shower, and yells MAMA!? IN SHOWA!?!

Maggie sometimes wakes up first, and I grab her and let her run around while I get ready. She loves exploring our bedroom. But. In general, I wake up, get dressed, get Cam dressed, and then we go into Maggie's room. While I'm dressing Maggie (which is like trying to dress a weasel on crack) Cam usually explores her room, reading books, looking out the window... whatever.

Now that he is in a big boy bed, we've taken out a stool that we used to leave in his room. And - perhaps everyone remembers the great toy purge of two weeks ago? I found some huge floor pillows taking up way too much space in a closet, and decided on putting them in Maggie's room. Now, while I'm dressing Maggie, Cam climbs up on the stool, sings the ABC song (he has to sing the whole thing, and then he goes 1-2-3!), and then jumps off the stool onto the pillows. Laughs hysterically and then does it again and again. This morning, I wanted to video him singing the ABC song - because I'm sure this happens to all of you too - once he knows I'm taping, he either clams up or runs over and yells 'Wanna see ME!'.

Here is what I got:

It's a total fluke I got this on camera - because (after placing MANY more pillows) he never did this again. But seriously. SERIOUSLY.

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T08:45:00.003-04:00

Aaron sent me an email a few weeks back, and asked if I wanted to go to the Red Sox on Mother's Day. Honestly, no. I didn't. But I knew my mother would want to - and she was ecstatic about it.

I'm sure it's the same in other cities,but when you go into the Boston for a Red Sox game, you need to gird your loins. Parking is at least $20, a beer inside the park is $8, and traffic SUCKS. And I'm not even an obsessive fan.

But MAN! Did we have fun!
Mom met me at 10, played with the kids for a little bit, and we headed off to the city.No traffic. Got near Fenway, and I pulled into a parking lot - and they said $45. HELL NO. Pulled out? And what was right there? A free, on street parking spot. Didn't even have to feed the meter - it was a Sunday!!!!

We had a nice lunch at a pub, got into the park right for the beginning of the game, and just had a wonderful time. The people sitting next to us were VERY sweet, and turned out there her brother is the Fire Chief in our little town - what are the odds?

We got home right as the kids were finishing up dinner - mom got to see Cameron's BIG BOY BED* and then she headed home. We all went outside and planted flowers under Nora's tree - which look beautiful, and was a total non-event. We told Cam that this was Nora's tree, and that Nora was his sister. He paused. said Norwa? And then turned away and said - I have shovel! Wanna dig! So that was a lot of stressing for nothing.

* Cam has had a big boy bed in his room forever because I had visions of him climbing out of his crib since he is so tall. He never attempted once (which I think is because he is still is in a sleep sack). It takes up a lot of room, and he really had finally started to show signs of being ready for it. On Friday night, we put him in it - and it took Aaron a little bit to leave him - but he napped in it fine the next day. So Aaron took out the crib on Sunday! And he is SO proud of himself. 'I seep in BIG BOY BED!' he tells anyone he sees.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-05-06T12:01:00.004-04:00

I need a really good cry. A full out, sob. Every time I start to cry, I manage to 'pull myself together' and stop. But I feel like if I could just have a real cry - I would feel better

Work is annoying this week

I saw Fast Five twice this week. Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel. Yum yum yum.

I also need a real vacation. A real, carefree span of time where I can just have fun. Not hear any whining or crying, get drunk, have crazy hotel sex, get a massage, dress in a fun outfit and have a wonderful dinner.

On the same theme - this weekend is Mother's Day. Aaron got me tickets to the Red Sox. I'm taking my mother - who loves the red Sox with a white hot passion. She is crazy excited. It's exactly what she wants to do.

Me? I want to sleep in, get breakfast in bed and relax. Not drive into Boston.

Oh, and a Pandora bracelet. I want one of those too.

I am so very, very happy that it's Friday.

Go see Danifred for more Friday Night leftovers.

Soon

2011-05-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

I know I don't talk much about Nora here. Not because I don't think about her, or wonder what she would be like, or that I don't miss her... but because I'm a wimp. Every time I have some downtime to think about it, I become overwhelmingly sad that I lost a baby. Watching Jen navigate through her loss of Luke makes me proud of her. She is SO strong. She got jewelry with Luke's footprint and initial. She got a picture taken of his name in the sand. I want to do those things. I do. Aaron and I still want those tattoos we talked about months ago. But I just can't bring myself to do it. It's too painful, too raw. And sometimes I feel like I'm not honoring Nora enough because I can't do it.

But I'm somehow able to talk about her tree. And the idea that we would, each year, go out as a family and plant some flowers at the base of her tree would be the opening to talk about Nora to the kids. Let her name be in their vocabulary, and let them know that they had a sister, but she isn't here anymore. And that we miss her very much and still love her.

I'm thinking that within the next few weekends, we are going to plant those flowers. I know it's going to be hard. Cameron is of this age where he gets things. And repeats things over and over again. So I have this fear that he'll be walking around saying - I have a sister Nora. We miss her (or whatever) over and over and it will just kill me. But they need to know about her and I need to do this.

It'll be hard, but I will.

The beach

2011-05-03T09:20:00.003-04:00

So, this weekend was the annual trip to Ferry Beach, and this one was a little tough. Suzanne didn't make it to my house until 7:30 PM Friday night, and it's an almost 2 hour drive to where we were staying. We had a plan to get the kids totally ready for bed, and hope they slept in the car. Well. No chance of that happening! I like to call Suzanne the kid's Beloved, and they were both just so excited to see her that they were chattering away to her and singing songs and laughing the whole car ride. Better than crying, I guess.

Which is what happened when we got to the house we were staying at. Now, the Beloved Suzanne was chopped liver and they only wanted Mommy - who needed to unpack the car. Major meltdown. Cam wouldn't sleep in the tent, Maggie was hysterical... good times. I finally convinced Cam to sleep in the king sized bed with me, and Maggie passed out in the pack-n-play. But sleeping with Cam was awful. He was pretty much up all night - even managed to fall off the bed.

We got in the car on Saturday morning to finish the drive to Ferry Beach, and all went well. Everyone was super excited about the beach, and we had a great time playing. Problem was, in a few hours, Cam only wanted MAMA because he was tired. And whiny. Sigh.

What was the most fun was watching Maggie play in the sand. This was the first time she's been at the beach and old enough to really play. She loved it.

There was a very minimal nap time and more misery in the afternoon. I also brought loads of beach toys and ride on toys for my kids - and all the other children there used them.... and left them EVERYWHERE. I was SO tired by the lack of sleep and burned out from the incessant whining that I was ready to snap. Walking all around in the soft sand recovering toys was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. By the end, I was wondering if the fun at the beach was worth the stress.

I think it was. Cam loved playing with the 'big kids' on the beach - and everyone there was so nice to my kids. There were kites and sand castles to smash and drumming and even a little stream to play in. We headed back to the place we were staying for bedtime, and had a repeat of the meltdown from Friday night, but this time both Cam and Maggie slept really well.

In the morning, we went out for breakfast at a fun place, and then to a different beach - where the most fun was had climbing on rocks.

Beautiful weather, great time with our buddy Suzanne (or Sue ANNE as the kids calls her) - but I was happy to be home in our own bed. With Aaron, who is a suitable substitute to Mommy when babies are cranky.

Fun!

2011-05-02T12:02:00.007-04:00

Maggie loves to draw. And paint. But every time I give her a crayon, chalk or marker, she eats it. Sometimes, I have given her water and brushes to 'paint' the chalkboard wall - which is a lot of fun... but kills Aaron because all the water on the wall and the floor is obviously NOT good for it.

I must admit, that some days, when I'm home alone with the kids - I let them go hog wild with the water and dry it all up before Aaron get home. They love this SO much.

This weekend, I decided to try Sidewalk Chalk Paint. We had just gotten home from the weekend at the beach. No one was napping, and the weather was beautiful. Couldn't have been a bigger success. Maggie sat there for over an hour playing with the paint - loving spreading it around when wet - and watching the fun design appear when it dried. AND it totally came off the driveway AND the kids easily. And I didn't care when she sucked it off the paint brush - no harm in eating cornstarch and water, I figure.

Sidewalk Chalk Paint:

Materials:

1/4 cup cornstarch

1/4 cup cold water

6-8 drops food coloring

Directions:

Mix cornstarch and cold water together

Add food coloring and stir

Repeat process to make different colors

Take paint outside and enjoy painting on blacktop

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-04-29T15:29:00.003-04:00

Thank god for Friday Night Leftovers, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to blog about this crazy disconnected week:

I have a cold with a really sore throat. Whine

Maggie woke up at 1 AM Monday night crying, which then woke up Cam, and by the time everyone was finally settled down, Aaron got a call for work. I slept from 11 - 1 and that was it.

Turns out the reason Maggie woke up crying was that she had a double ear infection. So she couldn't go to school on Weds thanks to her fever Tuesday (you need to be fever free for 24 hours)

I usually try to work from home with a sick baby, but decided 'what the heck' and we hung out together and did loads of fun things like go the park and go out for ice cream. It was a treat - a Maggie and Mommy day.

Thursday I took Cam into Boston to see the new touch tank at the aquarium. He did NOT love the touch tank - but loved everything else about the day. He is growing up SO fast - it was a blast watching him interact with people at the aquarium.

I watched the Royal Wedding. Princess Kate is beautiful!

I'm planning a block party for our street - think asking people to pay $30 per family and $15 a couple is too much - considering we are planning on providing hamburgers and hot dogs, a bounce house and carnival games with prizes? There are 42 houses on the block, we are thinking 50% will come.

Today, after work, Suzanne and I are taking the kids for our weekend up at the beach in Maine. This is our third year going, and I finally think I have things totally under control.

Aaron is staying home and working on the mud pit that is our back yard.

I've packed the following - whole bag of extra clothes (4 dry outfits per kid + socks and shoes), a special bag just for what we'll need when we get there to get the kids to bed (we won't be arriving until 8 or 9 PM), the kite and the bag of beach toys. I do need to stop to get sunscreen. I'm currently stressing out about the findings on sunscreen so will just buy the normal stuff until I can figure out what the heck to get.

I think that's it! Happy Weekend! And visit Danifred!

Results of toy re-org (lots of pictures!)

2011-04-25T14:49:00.005-04:00

Since Lauren asked, I decided to take an after picture of my work today. No before picture as I didn't think about it but also - it would have been pretty embarrassing.

Our living room is huge (half of our downstairs) and we've dedicated about 1/3 to be the toddler playground. This is the half without shelving - there is a basket with stuffed animals and a magna-doodle, another basket with Rescue Hero's stuff, Cam's 'workbench', Maggie's music table, the indoor ride-on toys, and the train table. The buckets under the train table only hold train stuff right now! There are two empty bins because I have a bag of 'to discuss with Aaron' toys - mostly Mega-blocks stuff that my kids don't use.

I try to not let stuff pile up on that table, but it does become a catch-all at times. We also store a couple BIG trucks under the table. Right now, I have a wooden toy train that we got Cam for his 1st birthday and never uses. I put it in plain sight. If he uses it this week, it can stay, otherwise, it's out of here.

And this is facing the other half of the toddler play area - here are the the IKEA shelves all closed up:

And a close-up:

And what's inside (this half is the trucks, Mr Potato Head and music toys)

The other half is games, puzzles, books and awful electronic noise-making toys.

I'm excited to see that just with maybe an hour of work, I've got a LOT more space downstairs and things aren't STUFFED in places anymore.

And then - just so you don't think that we live in a pile of toys - the 'adult' 2/3's of the room (dog not so blurry in real life)

I know there are a lot of toys still OUT in the public space, but I'm usually able to maintain this level of neatness. So long as I have a plan where everything goes - I can keep it this way. I also have the advantage of my kids only truly PLAYING in the house on the weekends. In the morning, we are in a rush to get to daycare, and at night we go upstairs and play in their bedrooms.

I'll save the bedroom organization pictures for another day.