Random Toddler Advice Needed

I have a bunch of things going on with Cam that I wonder what you all would do if it was your kids - I know, asking for advice is rare here - so please help!

• Cam HATES taking a bath. He used to not mind, but since he was about 18 months or so, he cries and cries when we put him in. We tried a bubble machine (that helps), we tried letting him decide when to get in - but even if he gets calmly in, when I get around to washing his hair and face - he FLIPS out. I know the soap doesn't burn (I tried it myself), we tell him to close his eyes before we do it - but seriously. He has to get washed (he plays hard and gets filthy every day) but it just sucks, because he REALLY cries. I want to be understanding - but dude. It's just water. Maggie is in the tub with him at the same time, which he seems to like, but last night, she tipped over (face first) and started crying, and he started - and then continued to cry for over 15 minutes. It. Was. Awesome. I did even try a shower - that was 1000 time worse. He was shaking he was so upset.
• The crying in general. If Cam drops something, is asked to leave someplace he doesn't want to, falls down - he cries. He used to say uh-oh or wave bye-bye to where we were leaving - but now he usually freaks out. It's frustrating because we usually ignore it, and within minutes he is totally fine and smiling. Please tell me this is short lived phase.
• When he does fall down, sometimes it looks like he maybe did hurt himself - I'll ask - Where does it hurt? He never can tell me - he will just be crying so hard, is he to young to be able to answer that question? I would think that telling me and having mommy rub it/kiss it/band aid it would help, if he would just show me. Sigh.
• How much food should a 20 month old be eating a day? I know a baby won't let themselves be hungry, but many nights he has a few spoonfuls of dinner and declares he is ALL DONE. I decided a while back that I wasn't going to fight about food - and he always eats well at other meals. But then he has crying fits upstairs. I was wondering if he was maybe hungry? I know getting into food battles is pointless - but we usually don't give milk at dinner... he gets plenty during the day (definitely 16 ozs) - I wonder if that would stave off the misery? If I make him milk to bring upstairs, he usually doesn't drink it. Or maybe giving desert? Dinner is usually orzo and some type of fruit and some attempt at protein (which is usually scoffed at).

I think that is about it - usually he is such a happy kid - but the current cry-fest in the evening sucks.

Chef Cece

My dinner last night was a huge hit. The food was awesome - but to me, the best was the pasta salad. I wanted to share the recipe here, because it was super easy! A bunch of reviews said the vinaigrette was too strong on the vinegar - but I didn't find that at all. I wonder if the people who said that didn't read the directions, where you were only supposed to dress the salad with 3/4 of a cup of the dressing. Anyway, everyone loved it, and I will totally make it again.

It was also great to get the baby stuff out of the house - I even got rid of a bouncy seat. Kate doesn't understand yet the importance of having a place to put the baby down - but thankfully Darrin's sister was there to convince her. You know, because I know nothing about babies. Sigh.

Anyway - I love cooking for a big group and having everyone over. There were 7 adults at the table, talking, enjoying the dinner and admiring the baby. And can I tell you how nice it is to be holding a sweet little baby? And when she would wake up and cry? I could hand her off! Perfect!!!

Organizing, baby food and babies!

Last week, our best friend and his fiance had a little baby girl. I, of course, knew it was a little girl from the day they told me they were pregnant. I got to see and hold her on Weds night... and she is just perfect and sweet (and looks EXACTLY like Darrin. Jury is still out if that is a good thing for a girl). I said I would never forget - but you DO forget what it is like to hold a little 6 pound baby. This birth has helped tremendously in our house, because ever since I found our she was pregnant, I've been saving everything that BOTH children grow out of.

This weekend and Monday, I did the HUGE purge. I went through all of Maggie's drawers and got rid of the things that were less than 9 month size. I boxed up little hats and blankets and nursing pads and burp cloths.... ANYTHING that they may need/want and we don't need here. 6 large boxes. And damn, does it feel good. Any I'm telling them that we don't want ANY of it back. To donate it if they don't want it.

When I called to tell them of this huge pile of clothes... I was nervous. Because I know that when people started offloading stuff to us, it was overwhelming. But Kate seems excited, and asked if they could come over tonight. So, I spent the morning preparing a nice, light summer dinner (tomato and mozzarella salad, orzo salad, and lemon pepper chicken) and figured while I was in there, I should whip up some baby food. Maggie is eating EVERYTHING now - so I can make some of my favorite baby foods. I made her avocado/banana, spinach/pear, and tofu/strawberry/banana. I also found the sweet potato/peach I made before she was born in the freezer. I'm defrosting some and hoping it's OK. They say that you should only freeze stuff for 4 months... but it's been double bagged. I hope it's good.

The only other thing I'd love to get done today is to sort out digital pictures and get them printed. I haven't printed pictures since April of last year! Bad mom!

Bullshit

This weekend, we had a blast. I had been surfing around looking for toddler race car beds, and found one for sale on craigslist for $90 including the mattress. Seemed like a good deal to me, and it was in the same town that Aaron's younger brother lives in, so I was figuring it was a win-win. We could get together with them, pick up the bed, and maybe even get in a visit with Aaron's father. So we called and set a time to meet - and went to the zoo together.

On a side note, I took Friday off work, and brought Cam to Davis Farmland. I thought he would LOVE it there. He did, after a bit. But the animals come right up to you. They are very gentle - and after while he thought it was fun! Especially the chickens. He LOVES the chickens. I didn't really think about the effect that experience would have on going to the zoo the next day. The first thing we saw were the elephants, and I was sure he was going to pass out in fear. I realized that he thought these HUGE animals were going to come over to him. Once he realized that they were all safely behind the barrier, all was good. But it took about 30 minutes to convince him of that.

Anyway. Back to the bullshit. Our SIL met us there with her two kids, and we had a blast. Her younger child is only 6 weeks older than Cam - so it's really cool to see them together. But of course, the family drama has to come into play. Long story short, Aaron's older brother A (the one that didn't come to Nora's memorial) is going to be in the area in a few weeks. In Nantucket. And J (my SIL) will also be going to Nantucket at the same time. This also coincides with the Pops On Nantucket. Months ago, I was trying to plan our summer - and I called our MIL and asked if we could come the week of the Pops for a vacation. She told us that she was 'booked' the week before and after. So I was like, huh. But OK, whatever. She didn't mention that both brothers were going to be there with all the cousins. I found that out when I called J a few weeks back to see when we could get together.

Both Aaron and I were somewhat offended. Not only was basically the whole family getting together without us, but our MIL was trying to hid it. Which is stupid and weird - because you know it was going to get out at some point that they were all together. Aaron's Grandmother and Aunts and Uncles also live on the island. Aaron mentioned it to his mother - that there was a family reunion going on that we weren't invited to - and everyone denied it. Whatever.

At the zoo, J was pushing for us to still come to Nantucket. And we just ignored her. At the end of the visit, she gave me a box of baby clothes. I opened it up last night and there were SO many cute things I had to call to thank her. She pushed a bit more on us going to Nantucket, and I finally said - we are NOT going to Nantucket while A is there. I don't think anyone understands that the 30 second phone call that A made when Nora died was awful. No matter what is going on in a family - you come. No matter what BS is going on, you congratulate you brother on the birth of his daughters. You hug him when one dies. And he didn't do it. That whole family didn't do a lot of things, but this was the worst. So no. We aren't going to freaking Nantucket when he is there. And she tells me that she knew that A thought really hard about coming, and it was a hard decision for him.

I'm sorry - but I don't care how hard it was for him. It is and was a thousand times MORE difficult for us. And a brother should know that and MAN the FUCK UP.

J was talking about the whole situation, and she said that Justin mentioned there will need to be a death in the family for the 2 of them to get together again. I paused, and said - there WAS a death in the family. It's like people have already forgotten. And it's total bullshit. So, I hadn't been fired up about this whole thing in a long time - but now I am all over again. Stupid family drama.

What she said.

A while back, I posted about how this isn't supposed to be my life. Since then I'm gotten a bunch of comments, talked to friends, talked to Aaron, a study came out about how having children doesn't make you 'happy' and I read this post.

Like I said the other day, nothing prepares you for having kids. Nothing prepares you for the 'easy' things like lack of sleep, crying, teething, choosing your discipline style... or the truly awful things that you don't even think about happening, like a baby dying or your baby seriously ill or needing surgery. My therapist told me that most people don't even try to prepare for the really bad things because that don't happen to many people.

Well, we had a really bad thing happen. And we survived. And I know we've changed as people because of it. Heather commented that 'I also know that my son's short life makes me love the girls, hug them, and laugh with them more. In a way, life is more sweet because of him. Even if I still miss him terribly." And yeah. She is right. Nora is missed. And yes, she should be here. But her short life, it meant something. It showed us that we need to hold on and love what we have and never EVER take for granted that it will be there tomorrow.

So yeah, Heather. What you said.

Hammered (and a toddler bed question)

And no, not in the way you are thinking. A few minutes after I posted my entry last night, that storm came raging through. It was such a violent storm that I can't stop thinking about it. We lost power pretty quickly and I was home alone. I couldn't find the flashlight right away - and all I could think was how I would handle it if the babies woke up. Because seriously, what would I say? Cam wouldn't understand that it was weather, would he? And it isn't like I could turn off the storm! Fortunately, both kids just slept through the onslaught, and the power came back on about an hour later.

On a totally different topic - what is the deal with transitioning to a toddler bed? Cam is totally happy in his crib and has never made any attempt to get out. He is close to 20 months old, and about 34 inches tall. Most of what I read says that you should start transitioning when the child tries to get out of his crib or is 3 feet tall (as someone that tall should be able to easily get out of the crib). And besides that he isn't making any effort to get out of his crib... he really likes it. I wonder if it'll be traumatic to take him out? I'm thinking that we'll switch to some fun toddler bed before going to real 'big boy' bed - I have a truck in mind.... but haven't found anything I like yet.

Any advice from those who've already gone through it?

Tornado warning.

Seriously. We have one. In Central Mass. Hahahahaha.

Everyone was doing well by our Saturday night date night, thank god. We left both kids (who were napping when we left) in our friend's hands, and headed off to our date night. The big plan was to get a coffee at Starbucks (we don't have any Starbucks near to us, so it's a treat), go see a movie and get take-out to bring home for dinner. We are nothing if not exciting! Anyway, we are about 5 minutes until the end of the movie, when Aaron's phone rings - it's our friend. Maggie is crying hysterically.

Now. Maggie is a very happy baby, but no limits can be pushed. If she is hungry FEED HER NOW. If she is tired PUT HER TO BED RIGHT THEN. If she poops, CHANGE THE DIAPER. If not, all hell breaks loose. We, fully trained in Princess Margaret Care, know the rules. We mentioned these to Justin, but I don't think he took us seriously. He was trying to soothe a sleepy baby - figuring she had just gotten up from a nap, and couldn't still be tired (ha. ha. ha.) But in the movie theater? 20 minutes away from home, knowing that a baby that had a fever 24 hours previously was crying?!?! I was freaking out. I surely didn't admit it to Aaron. We watched the end of the movie, hit the bathroom, and Aaron turned to me and said - you know we aren't getting that take out, right? And the two of us walked as quickly as we could to the car without running.

We got home, she wasn't even crying, she was obviously tired, and I got her happily to bed with a bottle in no time. And it was a good date even if it ended in a minor panic. But damn if that little panic didn't keep me up all night. Thinking of all of things I should worry about and wondering if ALL mother's worry this much? I love these kids so much it hurts. It's this fierce, raw, protective love that shocks me sometimes with it's intensity. It's unexplainable, really.

But Ill still leave them in other's hands while we go out together as a couple. In a few nights, we are off to meet our best friends brand new baby girl! They live 1.5 hours from us - so we will get the kids to bed and make our way out to meet her. I can't wait.