NYC!

My plan for the anniversary of Nora's death couldn't have been a bigger success. Did I have moments of sadness? Yes. But I love my new plan of making it an awesome day - that Nora's short life should be celebrated. She changed our family in the 5 days she was with us - and a large part of the change is for the better. Do I wish I hadn't had to go through those dark days? Yes. Do I wish she was still here with us? 100% yes. But, we also have a strong focus on what is important in life, and how important enjoying and treasuring every moment is.

This trip was totally meant to be. Everything just worked out perfectly and we had a wonderful day. We left the house at 6 AM, knowing that we had a 3 hour drive to get to the Purdy train station. At that point, Aaron and Cam would drive to Legoland, and Maggie and I would catch the train to Grand Central. I had no idea what kind of traffic we would hit, but we sailed right through! And we were able to catch the perfect train - the 9:35 AM train that got us into NYC at 10:45. So we took a subway to my cousins apartment, got Maggie (and her doll) changed into her special dress - and we hit the streets of NYC!

She was so stinking cute that people actually stopped in their tracks to proclaim - Look! Isn't she cute!

Since we got into the city so early, we had time for lunch. I found out that American Girl Place was only a few blocks away from the Radio City Music Hall, and manged to get us into the 12:30 seating. This is where my cousin met us. She couldn't BELIEVE that place. Maggie was delighted.

We left lunch and on our way to Radio City Hall, I got this picture on my phone - Aaron and Cam had arrived at Legoland. He was so happy!

We walked to Radio City, and started noticing that the police were putting up barriers everywhere... turns out they were lighting the Christmas tree that night! My cousin was adamant that we got out of there ASAP after the show. I can't imagine what I zoo it would have been for the 9 PM lighting - people were already lining up at 4. We walked into the 2 PM show at 1:56.... again, perfect timing.

I took Cam to the Rockettes in Boston a few years ago, and it was great - but man. Nothing beats seeing it in NYC. They were amazing. And Maggie was transfixed. It helps that she is now taking dance lessons - so she was AMAZED at the tap dancing.

Afterwards, my cousin let us take a few pictures around Rockefeller Center before we jetted out - seriously. Could she be any cuter?!?

We walked across town to FAO Schwarz, because all little girls need to check that place out!

I was pretty sure we were going to have a meltdown (as she had been up at 5 AM, walked at least 3 miles, and it was now 5 PM) but she was delighted to get a super fancy face painting! And no toys! A true Christmas miracle.

From there, we walked to a huge candy store - Dylan's Candy Bar - can you see that face? I talked her out of the lollipop, but I did get her some candy buttons.

The rest of the evening was wonderful. We had a great dinner, then took a cab home. Maggie took a bath, played with my cousins and put herself to bed. And I got to spend a wonderful evening with my cousins and a few other friends playing cards and drinking.

The next day, we woke up just in time to make our way to Grand Central for the earlier train, and meet up with Aaron, so I could give my 5 year old boy a hug. As we pulled out of the train station, I asked Maggie if she had a good time. She told me, "Mama. It was a stupendous day! That is a fancy word for awesome!" (thanks to her new obsession with the Fancy Nancy books, she comes out with some awesome one-liners now).

When we met up with Aaron, the kids passed out quickly in the car. We both agreed that the day was a gift. We rarely get to spend one-on-one time with the kids, alone. Where they are our only focus. It was a perfect, wonderful day. Just like I had hoped it would be. 

Quilts

I spent a wonderful weekend in Portsmouth, NH for my annual quilting weekend. This was my 8th year going with my friends, and as usual, it was wonderful. A weekend away from reality, really. All our basic needs are met (food, drinks, and it's held in a B&B, so no worries). And we get 48 hours to indulge in a pastime we love. Some years, I've brought things totally ready to sew and completed multiple quilts in a weekend. Other years I've brought one thing, but stopped at a fabric store, saw soemthing that caught my eye, and made something completely different than planned. I've tried new techniques, made dolls, hobby horses, felt food, crib bumpers... so many fun things. But this weekend snuck up on me. I only had two kits in my stash - one a very simple quilt in fun fabrics, and the other? And insanely difficult quilt that I bought on a whim. Every time I took it out to start working on it, it was like - Damn. That is too hard!

So this weekend, I vowed to just go for it. I gave my friend all my other fabric and projects. Her job was to not allow me to get frustrated and stop. Or to take a break and get distracted. In the beginning, each row would take me about 30 minutes to cut, sew and iron. There were 43 rows total. By the end, I was down to about 20 minutes per row... but still. It was the hardest quilt I've ever made.

When I finished (at midnight on Saturday!) it all became worth it! Check this out!

I couldn't have done it without the help and encouragement of my friends! I'm thinking it will go in Maggie's room - she doesn't have a lot of art work in there. Cool, right?

Overthinking birthdays and the anniversary

I feel very strongly that birthdays should be celebrated. Made special. So I asked Cam what special thing he wanted to do on his birthday. He looked at me and said - I want to stay home from school and play with my Legos!. Um, OK. That would only be fun for about 2 hours, tops. And then I'd be home with a bored kid. So I started thinking. Maybe we could swing a trip to a nearby Legoland Discovery Center? But it's about 3 hours from here. So Aaron thought he would take him up the night before, and stay in a hotel - double fun!

I was acutely aware that this meant that I would be home alone on the anniversary of Nora's death. So I thought - I'll make a different fun plan. I looked around and came up with an idea of taking Maggie into NYC and seeing the Rockettes. Maggie has been taking dance lessons, so I thought this would be right up her alley. And - I have a super fun cousin that we could stay with!

Looking at the timing of everything, I was nervous that we wouldn't manage to get home in time for his McDonald's birthday party at 5:30 (did I mention this stroke of genius? I wanted to have a small birthday party for just his close friends on the weekend, but thought I could still do a dinner at our house on his actual birthday. Then I realized that would mean about 30 people at my house if I just invited the friends on the street. So I called the local McDonald's that has a play space. They do parties, and it's super reasonable!).

So last night, Aaron and I made a great new plan. All four of us will leave together on the morning of the 4th. Aaron will drop Maggie and I off at a train station and we will make our way into NYC for a matinee, a special dinner in the city and an overnight with my cousin. Cam and Aaron will go and do Legoland on the 4th, stay in a hotel (maybe with a pool!) and then in morning, Maggie and I will meet them at the train station so we can all be together on his birthday!

This is my new plan. Since I know that the 4th is going to be a hard day for me, I'm going to try and fill it with happy, joyful things. And remember the 5 days we had with Nora as a blessing, and celebrate the wonderful life we do have. I'm sure tears will be shed, but hopefully mixed in with some laughter too.

Parental Karma

For the past 6 months, I've noticed that my kids are in a sweet spot. They still think I'm awesome, but they play really well by themselves, are (mostly) past the tantrum stage, and are in general, really a lot of fun to be around.

This past week was the beginning of what I consider our party month. (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and both kids birthdays all within the same 36 days.) I have always hosted a group of people from daycare at our house for Halloween. It has been about 20 kids and their parents every year. Which I know sounds insane, but it just works out. All the kids have a blast. The parents will concentrate on their own kids (we certainly don't try to keep all the kids together for trick or treating) and whenever someone is done? They just walk back to our house and play with the kids toys, trade candy, and (hopefully) eat some of the healthy potluck food that I have people bring. I just accept that every toy in the house will be out, and I'll need to clean the downstairs the next day. It's a night where pretty much anything goes and we've always had a blast.

Friday night, we had neighborhood family over for movie night - and it was another great evening. The kids all played nicely together, the grown-ups got to sit and eat adult dinner and then even play some cards! Saturday, Cam had soccer while Maggie and I went to American Girl for a birthday party (and yes, we have totally gone down that rabbit hole, my friends). I got back, and asked the kids if they would be happy to hang out with Grandma while I went to swimming - "Sure, Mama!". Later in the afternoon, my cousin visited for dinner - someone they had never met, and they had a blast!

Sunday morning, I had planned to do a swim meet. My mom was still visiting, and I thought she could come after warm ups with the kids. But they wanted to go RIGHT NOW! Which I thought was a bit insane (I needed to swim for warm ups for about 45 minutes in the pool before the meet). But I said if they really wanted to, that they could come - and explained how it would be (they couldn't go in the water, I would be away for warm ups, they would have toys and food but needed to stay in one place) and they were all in. So, I risked it. And Oh. My. God. They were wonderful. We had a great time! My mom joined us later, but the kids wanted to stay on the deck and cheer for me and the team. They listened, made friends with my teammates, played nicely with each other and even were sad when it was time to go.

This whole weekend had so many places where things could have gone horribly wrong. They stayed up past 9 on both Thursday and Friday nights. We were moving and doing crazy things and meeting new people and being without Mama... no issues. It was wonderful. I went to bed on Sunday thinking how awesome my little family is.

Mommy Time

Over a month ago, I was bemoaning to a friend that men so easily will say to their wives - 'Do you mind if I go away for the weekend?" and they will go. Not another thought. This is not saying that there is anything BAD about this. I think it's great. Everyone needs a break from 'real life' sometimes and a weekend is a nice chunk of time to do it. It's usual affordable in both cost and spare vacation time. But in my experience, not many woman do the same. Even if I'm able to find a very inexpensive place to go - many aren't able to break away from family life obligations.

I get frustrated, because I know that they COULD. It's just that they don't. And why is that? Why do women feel like the family can't run without us? Not only can it run without us, it should sometimes. It gives everyone a boost! Sure, sometimes plans don't work because of schedules or work or whatever, but I think it isn't fair to anyone to think that we are so important that we can never take time for ourselves.

Anyway - back to my story. Right as I was bitching about this inability of women to find time to go away, I got an email from another friend asking if anyone wanted to go to her house on the Cape for a weekend! Replies came back fast and furious and of the 6 of us that craft together, 5 could come. And for one reason or another, we were all in desperate need of a weekend away. It was perfect.

This is a group of women I met in a quilting class 10 years ago. Every time we do something like this, it reminds me that it's almost a miracle we found each other. We are a group of like minded women, who have the same hobbies, and really enjoy spending time together. I'm always happier after time spent with these women, and this weekend was no different.

We arrived on the Cape Friday, had a wonderful lunch. I had booked a massage, and then as the day wore on everyone arrived. We all had a project to work on, each of us contributed food and drinks and even brought our own sheets to make the weekend as stress-free for the woman whose house it was. Just a great weekend. I actually finished 2 full quilts! The Lego one I'm working on for Cam's birthday (just need to stamp on the Lego logo) and then a bonus one. We laughed, stayed up late, sung along to the radio, and commiserated.

Down time. Something everyone needs.

And Aaron. He was left in charge of a super busy weekend (2 Halloween parties, soccer practice for Cam, flu shot, and the kids sang in choir at church for the first time!) and the kids had a blast. Aaron was actually offended when I tried to give him 'help' by making him lists or asking if I should line up food - "I'm capable! Jesus!". Did I miss out on doing a few things with my kids? Yes. Is that the end of the world? No.

Preschool issues

We love the preschool that my kids go to. They have both been going there since they were 3 months old, and I couldn't recommend it more highly. It's a chain daycare, but the director was the most amazing woman. There was barely any turn over (VERY rare in a daycare setting) and all the teachers were wonderful. We had fun events in the evening that we could go to with the kids and the children were really ahead of the curve when compared to other kids (not that I'm biased or anything).


You may remember, about 6 months ago, I talked about the director being asked to leave. They assured us that it wasn't anything to do related to the children, and after MUCH drama, assured us that nothing would change, or if it did change, it would change for the better. I had my doubts, but rolled with it.

We've now come to the point where it is obvious that things are NOT better. Or the same. They are worse. We have lost several teachers, the ones that have been there forever seem unhappy, and the new director just doesn't rub me the right way. And it's frustrating. But until recently, I was continuing to accept it, as my kids were still happy and the classrooms were decent.

But then they switched Maggie's classroom. The old director always had 3 preschool groups: Young Preschool, Older Preschool, and Pre-K. And that was one of the things that drew me to this daycare, as I feel that a year difference when you are 2.9 versus 3.9 is HUGE. But the new director changed it to one Preschool class, and then a Kindergarten Prep class. When confronted, she says that this is what all the other centers in this chain do. Well, I didn't pick the OTHER centers, did I? And many of the other parents felt the same way. It's just hard to think that Maggie is getting great learning opportunities when half of her class is unable to sit still through a whole book or talk in full sentences. We lead a big push, and we convinced her to change back to the Young and Older Preschool classes in January - but after this year, they won't do it again.

And just as we are feeling pretty great about winning that battle, one of Cam's Kindergarten Prep teachers quit. I'm on the parent council, and she told us that there are 150 job openings in early childhood development, so it's been hard to find a replacement. I feel like we never had turnover issue like this in the past, so it's infuriating to me that we are dealing with it now. I also feel trapped, as it's really to late to switch Cam anywhere. And the only way I would pull Maggie for next year is if her best friend went with her. My kids are too comfortable there to risk pulling them out - and they are getting a good education there.

But during one of the parent meetings, I blurted out that 'We were promised that nothing would change, or if they changed, it would be for the better. That is NOT happening." Needless to say, I got an email from the director the next day asking for a private meeting so we could discuss my thoughts. That is tomorrow morning, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I frustrated and tired of needing to be sure that my kids get what they need. For the amount of money I'm paying for this center, I would expect I shouldn’t even need to worry about it (and I didn't for over 4 years!). To some degree, in the back of my mind, I remember my Nursery School when I was a kid. We just played together in the basement of the local church. And I turned out just fine. But on the flipside, I know what the kids before mine got, and I want the same level of excellence for them.

Knitting Mojo

I used to knit ALL THE TIME. In the car, watching TV, while on the phone, in restaurants, at church... everywhere. I would have knitting in my bag at all times. As the kids have gotten older and more mobile and active, that has slowed down. My knitting moved to just at night while watching TV. In the past year, I've gotten back into swimming. And my swim team meets from 8-9:30 at night - which is my prime knitting time.

But I still love to knit. And want to knit things for the kids. And every once in a while, something will catch my eye that I have to make. This past week, I found two things that I absolutely MUST KNIT. One is for me. A nice roomy, sweatshirt like sweater. I bought this kit because I love the colors, and my friends. It's cashmere. And then I saw this pattern. An Icelandic sweater for girls. With horses. And I already own the yarn it calls for. So yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!

But. I was still knitting a scarf that I HAD TO HAVE last Christmas that Aaron bought for me as a kit. The pattern is called Leftie, and is fun to knit (garter stitch only), but I just wasn't making the time to finish it. As I had already ordered the cashmere kit and the horse pattern, I forced myself to finish the knitting on that before the new kit arrived. And oh my, do I love the finished project!

It's the perfect colors for the fall, and I love wearing it! Hurrah!

So, now I just need to make time to ball up the new yarn, and wait for the other colors of Maggie's sweater yarn to arrive! I hope to have the Horse Sweater finished for her birthday. We shall see.

This weekend I have a planned getaway with my girlfriends, and I'm hoping to make a quilt for Cam for his birthday. It's going to be based on this Lego quilt I found. I'm considering doing the Lego stamps in the colors of the fabric (like it is on real Lego's) and using fabric paint instead of ink. I need to decide kind of quickly, as I'm leaving Friday morning for the weekend!