Heavy Sigh

I learned 2 things this weekend. I like Manhattans (the adult beverage). 6 is too many.

We went to a holiday party on Friday. For a passing moment, I thought it was maybe a bad idea. But Aaron wanted to go so badly, that I went along for the ride. I was going to use the same coping mechanism that I use with Aaron's family... have 2 drinks within the first 1/2 hour, and then maintain the buzz all night. (I highly recommend this to anyone with horrible in-laws. You just look at them and smile when they come over and ask for the 100th time if you are pregnant yet, or how much your new car cost or when will you be visiting again? Take another sip and smile.) The secret is NOT getting drunk. Turns out that 2 Manhattans is like 4 drinks - because I was wasted in short order. Normally that would be fun, but a bunch of Aaron's work friends were there, and I was pouring out my life story. And really only giving the BAD parts.

Awesome.

Then, on the way home, I had a meltdown - telling him that I'm so frustrated that most of my friends that got married in the same year as us have kids (yes, kids plural) and that it must suck for him to be married to me.... having to go through all this bullshit to have children when so many others don't even have to think about it.... and on an on an on and on.

Good times.

What I'm thinking that that I shouldn't be drinking heavily for a bit. Or maybe do it when I only have a few minutes drive home? Not an hour? Poor Aaron.

I had another holiday party last night. This was with the ladies on my street, and it was fun. Get together with a group of woman who have had children, and you learn, again, that pretty much everyone has had miscarriages. Totally normal (but still sucky). I got a lot of hugs and offers of help if I need it. I found out there there are 3 nurses on my street, and one of them actually has gone as a traveling nurse to the homes of people doing IVF to administer shots! Because the husband won't do it! I told that to Aaron, and he said any man who won't do the shots, when his wife is willing to put her body through so much - is lame! It's good to know that if Aaron needed to go away on business, I have other options.

That party last night was the same party that threw me for a loop last year. We went around the room last year, and said what we were thankful for. There were 20 woman there, and 3 were visibly pregnant (this was a month after my ectopic). Those 3, and two more, gave thanks for their healthy pregnancy. All I could do was sit there and throw on the fake smile. This year - I just told the people in charge that if they did the thankful thing I would kill them. (We are also friends now, and I told them that story, and they still feel bad about it.).

Onto my final week of work before vacation. Thank god.