I didn't miss this.

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking about the IVF cycle coming up. Which is annoying for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that the earliest I'm going to be starting any shots is the end of February.

Sigh.

I have a lot of questions that I will ask at my appointment next week - but I'm really wondering why things failed last cycle. The numbers were all doubling correctly... albeit low to start. Does that indicate anything? Or is it normal? And I'm wondering if I'm going to be one of those people who has miscarriage after miscarriage... and if I could even deal with that emotionally. Augh!

I haven't been hitting the gym as hard as I would like (2 times last week, and then credit for playing in the snow for 2 hours). I'm forcing myself to remember that 2 or three times a week is better than nothing.

But - eating better is really making me feel good. I often won't make big meals (like chili, lasagna or beef stew) because there is only 2 of us to eat it. If I do make something like that, I tend to force myself to eat it each day for lunch. By the third day, I'm forcing it down. Thinking ahead to the upcoming IVF cycle, and knowing how I won't want to cook, I've been making the larger meals and throwing the leftovers in the freezer. I realized that I wasn't doing this because it's something my mom does that used to drive me crazy (she would leave a list on the frig of all of the meals that were in the freezer. When I was a kid, I thought it was really anal. Now, I realize it's just good sense). I made my really yummy chili* Sunday night, and now there is a huge container in the freezer of it. I also made steel cut oatmeal in the crockpot on Sunday - and put it in little containers for breakfast all week. I just have to throw it in the microwave and I've got a great, healthy breakfast.

And baking my own bread - who knew how easy and fun that would be?! The recipe I'm using makes 3 loaves. We eat one pretty quickly - hot out of the oven (with lunch or dinner - whenever I finish), I leave one out for the week. I was nervous it would taste stale by the end of the week, but it doesn't. We don't really eat a lot of bread - so the loaf does last for the week, stored in a ziplock bag. And it's such a treat! I had some with lunch today, no butter needed, and it's just SO tasty. I'm impressed with myself, to tell you the truth.

* My Chili Recipe, for those interested:
1 pound of ground turkey (sometime I add this, sometimes I don't)
Fresh cilantro (I use the whole bunch you get a the grocery store - you can change this based on your love of cilantro. I LOVE it.)
1 can each black, kidney, and white kidney beans (or whatever beans you want - but 3 cans total beans)
1 24 oz can tomatoes
1 16 oz package frozen corn
1 red pepper chopped
ETA: Whoops forgot the onion! This is chopped too!
ground cumin (about a tablespoon)
chili powder (again, about a tablespoon - but Aaron doesn't like too spicy. If you like spicy, I would recommend taking out the chili powder and adding in one jalapeno pepper, chopped)
3 cloves garlic

I usually cut everything up and throw it in the crock pot on low for the whole day. I turn it on as I leave for work - so it ends up being between 9 - 10 hours. Some people would pre-cook the turkey, I don't. Also - if you were in a rush - you could easily saute the onion, garlic and red pepper and meat, then throw everything in a pot and it would be ready in about 30 minutes (you'd just need things to heat up).