Thanks

Hey everyone. Thanks for your nice, thoughtful and supportive comments yesterday. After all the spotting last week - I had a pretty good feeling that things were going south, but was trying to stay positive.

You know, because staying positive is important. And relaxing. Drink some wine and you'll get pregnant.

Whoops, bitter Cece has entered the building.

All last week I had bright red spotting. I knew it was bad when I called the nurse and they wanted to know the size of the spots - dime sized or quarter? And I was like, well - they are all smooshed together now... I can't tell how big they are when they overlap! Sigh. And then on Monday night, I was home and sitting in the living room, and I felt a gush. No pain, just a gush. I went to the bathroom, and I was bleeding... but I would wipe and it would stop. I would go back and sit, and a few minutes later a bit more. Again and again. I called Aaron, who was working late, and told him I was spotting again.... and I could tell that he was sick of me obsessing about it (I couldn't come out on the phone and say I was bleeding for whatever reason.). I just knew that it was a miscarriage, but didn't want to say the words.

After a restless night's sleep, Aaron asked me in the morning what I wanted to do. Did I want to wait until Weds for the u/s? I did but I didn't. So we went in. They confirmed everything, but were very nice and understanding.

I'm OK. Sad, but OK. Everyone has been really great, and Aaron is being wonderful. The doc told me that they'll review my case, and once I get my period, we'll start again. And I'm ready, trust me. I have the whole week of Christmas off, and we are staying home. My boss is being really understanding (he wife went through this also) so that is good. But I'm working today - if I just sit here, all I'll do is cry. And that sucks.

I go in again next week for an u/s to be sure everything is OK again, and then I'll just relax for a bit.