I know, it isn't a word. But sometimes, I like to stay in my house, watching TV, eating junk food and not answering the phone. And that is exactly what I did all weekend. I call it 'hermiting'.
Aaron announced last week that he needed to go on a business trip the beginning of this week. And that one of his friends needed his help apartment hunting. So, he was thinking of leaving late Saturday morning, not to return until Tuesday night. At first I was thinking I'd be lonely.... and then I realized I haven't been ALONE in months. This was all part of my 'not obsess over the IVF cycle and the pregnancy test results' plan - but I either was going on a trip or having someone visit every single weekend since the beginning of March.
So I spent the weekend catching up on my DVR, knitting, eating junk food, and a bit of worrying. Which is something I swore I wouldn't do - but I am. Can this whole pregnancy thing be true? There has been no spotting, but this weekend I also really didn't have any symptoms. Of course, I woke up this morning with a decent nausea feeling (which I'm guess is a direct results of the garbage food I was eating). I'll be happy when I get another peek at the baby on the 13th.
Another thing that is making me feel a bit of stress is that one of my friends on my street is pregnant too. Due 10 days before me. When I see her, we compare symptoms and appointments and joke about maternity leave (since we'll be on it together)... my heart is no longer guarded against something going wrong. I've thrown myself headlong into dreaming of my baby, and how great this all is.... it's starting to freak me out how positive I'm being!
7 comments:
It is great to feel positive after all the negative! enjoy it
It's so wonderful you've passed into being simply happy; enjoy it, no matter how strange it feels. I am hoping I can get there after tomorrow's ultrasound. For now, I'm still a big ball of worry, and I hate that I can't just enjoy this.
I too enjoy a weekend alone. I usually clean out my closet, watch chick flicks and eat chicken (my husband is no a fan of chicken...)
I imagine it is hard to let go of the worry; it's been a constant companion for this very wanted baby.
Hermiting can be a real nice change of pace. So glad you're finding joy in your long sought-after p-word,
J
be positive! that's awesome. I'm glad for you and your healthy baby...there's no reason to think that anything bad will happen...just enjoy your pregnancy...soon enough you'll see your new little son/daughter and your heart will be filled with so much love. I'm praying for your peace and a safe and wonderful delivery.
That's awesome that you're able to just enjoy being pregnant! It's not easy to move from the worrying and stressing about every little thing, to the enjoying and revelling in it.
Good luck with your pregnancy!
FYI - I have been getting a lot of "hate" comments in my blog recently. So I have changed my web address for my blog. If you have my blog linked on your blog roll it will no longer function as I have changed my URL/web address (because my old one had my name on it and I don't want these creeps to be able to find me...). My new URL/web address that will need to be edited in your blog roll is: http://www.infertilityisunfair.blogspot.com/
Thank you
~S (AKA: Thoughts from My Life)
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