Want to see my baby?

My measuring 'just right', heartbeat at 163, proof that I need to stop freaking out baby?
The picture is just a little blurry, but the message is the same - everything is looking great!

This and that

This weekend was fun. The weather was perfect, and Aaron gave me a bunch of cute Mother's Day cards. I have to admit to a pang of sadness(? maybe? Hard to describe the feeling) that it took us so long to get to this point, but I'm happy we are here. We spent the whole weekend together doing yard work and hanging out and in general just being together, alone. Which was really nice. Plus - my yard and gardens are all looking great, and Aaron made me a little fence to protect my flower gardens from my monster dogs that think pretty flowers are for digging up and running through.

The other big thing we did this weekend was to tell my MIL that we were pregnant. I was SO nervous about her reaction - but she was actually pretty great. She did do a large pause when she realized that if I was due on Dec 5th, that meant I was over 10 weeks pregnant - but recovered nicely. I know it sounds horrible - but it's always a hit of miss thing with her if she is going to be nice or mean.... I'm glad she went with nice. And then we spent the rest of the day telling other parts of Aaron's family - and everyone was really excited, so that was fun. After my U/S on Tuesday, I'm going to send my Dad and Stepmother a picture and tell them the news.

Speaking of the u/s - I'm ok. I'm more excited then nervous at this point. On Saturday, I kind of overdid it again, and was a nauseous, gassy mess for Saturday night and parts of Sunday. As much as that kind of sucked - it made me feel like everything is going well! I guess I'm damned if I do feel bad, and damned it I don't. Ha.

My u/s is tomorrow morning at 9:30 - but with the drive time and the fact that we need to see my doc afterwards - I wouldn't think I'd be able to post the picture until around noontime.... but I promise not to keep you all in suspense!

10 Weeks

Things are starting to feel real and sink in - and that is cool. Since last weekend, I've been feeling really good. As in, no nausea, not super tired, pretty much have the gas/lack of poop under control. I've been taking nice long walks with my friend and/or the dogs. And that was making me really nervous. Aren't I supposed to feel like crap? So I've been quietly counting down the days until my next ultrasound, and praying that everything is OK.

But then more people at work have been finding out (mostly because we all went out for drinks after work and I wasn't drinking - which was a SHOCK to some - lol). And people were asking me how I was feeling, and I said - 'Honestly? Great!' And told how that was kind of making me nervous. And two woman chimed in that they felt totally great their first trimester also - one said she barely even noticed she was pregnant. Then I started asking around, and sure - lots of people feel morning sickness, but others don't! Ha! Or they didn't with the first pregnancy and they did with the second or vice-versa. Ha!

Like I've said before - I have no reason to be worried. No spotting, no cramping... and we saw that beautiful heartbeat at 7 weeks 4 days. Now I'm just excited (and a little nervous) to go see my little one on Tuesday!

Oh - and Aaron and I went to see Iron Man last night - awesome movie - I totally recommend it.

Nothing Super Exciting.

Well, maybe one exciting thing - I think the fancy ($42 is my co-pay! WTF!) prenatal I'm taking is working wonders. My symptoms are greatly reduced - the 'stool softeners' and the B12 (I think?) have really eliminated the major issues I was having - constipation and mild nausea. I have chosen to decide that is the reason that I'm feeling so good - and not that something isn't going right because I have less symptoms. Positive thinking.

Yet grateful for the ultrasound I have scheduled for this coming Tuesday.

I'm also less exhausted - but I'm being careful not to do silly things that tire me out - and have been trying to go for a walk each day - which seems to make a big difference.

The one thing that has been occupying my thoughts lately is childcare. I'm definitely going back to work after maternity leave. But there are so many options - have someone come into my house, in-home daycare, or the big child care centers. I see the pros and cons for each - I'm just not sure yet what is best for US. I do know that where ever we do go, that it needs to be close to my house. We have a child care center in my office building, but about once a week I work from home - and it's a 30 minute drive to my office building. Plus - I would like Aaron to have to option of picking up and dropping off if needed - and my office building is in the exact opposite direction than how he drives to work.

I know this all seems early to be thinking of this - but I've been warned by other mothers that waiting lists on some of the 'better' places is ridiculous.

Hermiting

I know, it isn't a word. But sometimes, I like to stay in my house, watching TV, eating junk food and not answering the phone. And that is exactly what I did all weekend. I call it 'hermiting'.

Aaron announced last week that he needed to go on a business trip the beginning of this week. And that one of his friends needed his help apartment hunting. So, he was thinking of leaving late Saturday morning, not to return until Tuesday night. At first I was thinking I'd be lonely.... and then I realized I haven't been ALONE in months. This was all part of my 'not obsess over the IVF cycle and the pregnancy test results' plan - but I either was going on a trip or having someone visit every single weekend since the beginning of March.

So I spent the weekend catching up on my DVR, knitting, eating junk food, and a bit of worrying. Which is something I swore I wouldn't do - but I am. Can this whole pregnancy thing be true? There has been no spotting, but this weekend I also really didn't have any symptoms. Of course, I woke up this morning with a decent nausea feeling (which I'm guess is a direct results of the garbage food I was eating). I'll be happy when I get another peek at the baby on the 13th.

Another thing that is making me feel a bit of stress is that one of my friends on my street is pregnant too. Due 10 days before me. When I see her, we compare symptoms and appointments and joke about maternity leave (since we'll be on it together)... my heart is no longer guarded against something going wrong. I've thrown myself headlong into dreaming of my baby, and how great this all is.... it's starting to freak me out how positive I'm being!

9 Weeks!

Today I hit 9 weeks! That is pretty cool. I'm also feeling a lot better - I've finally learned how to manage a lot of symptoms I've been having, which is nice. The mild nausea I was having is easy fixed by not eating junk food and eating smaller meals (der). The constipation is slowly being resolved by my new prenatal with stool softeners (hurrah), more liquids and homemade bran muffins. And I've learned not to overtire myself.

On Saturday - I was out all day, watching Aaron's soccer team play, helping a friend move, and then go out to dinner. Sunday I got up earlish, drove with a friend to a yarn sale (about a 1.5 hour drive one way) walked all around town there, and then drove home. From 4 PM until I went to sleep I was nauseous, exhausted and miserable.

Lessons learned.

If you go read the comments from my last post - you gals (and Aaron! You got my husband to comment on my blog!) were all so right. I understand it is our business what and when we tell people - but my MIL just makes me nervous. She is a gossiper, and I know it's going to be a big conversation on how we didn't tell people right away.... how we've been going through some tough times with the whole TTC thing.... blah blah blah....Poor Cece.... Poor Aaron. I hate knowing the buzz that will surround the announcement. But I'll get over it!

Huzzah for 9 weeks!

Secrets

I'm going to admit, we've told a bunch of people I'm pregnant. Obviously, we've told the people that knew we were going through IVF. My mom. My brother. My father in law. Aaron has probably told EVERYONE he works with. I've told a few people at work - but all my friends (pretty much).

But we haven't told Aaron's mother, which means that his whole nosy, overly involved family isn't bugging me yet. I also haven't told my father and my stepmother - who will, I guarantee - really bug the crap out of me once they find out. I'm not showing (obviously) and I'm not so sick that I run from meetings at work to run to the bathroom. I feel like I have this little secret growing inside and I don't have to tell anyone that I don't want to.

Admittedly, I'm a bit nervous about the aftermath of our decision not to tell my MIL. This is a woman that called my SIL (who lives in Portland, OR - we are in Mass) and told her she didn't feel 'a part of this pregnancy' when she was pregnant with her first. So - I'm imagining major backlash when not only does she find out that we didn't tell her I was pregnant for months..... but that we didn't tell her we were back doing IVF!

For now, I choose to enjoy this little secret that Aaron and I are sharing - and the fun of talking about baby names and maternity leave and good things like that. Because all hell may break loose in a few weeks.