Thursday, October 30, 2008


So - I've had a big uptick in my productivity.... I wouldn't say so much on 'energy' level - but I've been crossing some of the annoying things that have been on my 'to-do' list for a long time. Like birthday presents for nieces, dealing with finding receipts for my annoying health care spending account (it was for $24 transaction! I spent TWO HOURS straighting that out), depositing checks, and loads of other little things that have been on my 'to do' list for about a month. I even washed the dog beds yesterday - which is not a minor chore (and the whole time they are in the wash - the dogs stare at me - 'What did you do with our beds? Are we supposed to lay down on the FLOOR!?').

I've also been working on getting my Christmas crafting done. I usually knit/sew a bunch of my presents, but tend to wait to start that until Mid November, and then realize that there is no way in hell I'm going to get everything done in time. This year, I went up to my craft room, and pulled down the half-finished stuff from years past, and am finishing it up for presents for this year. I finished up a quilt for my mother, another smaller quilt for my father, and cut up fabric for some aprons that I had brought to give away last Christmas! I feel like I'm actually ahead of the game on that stuff - but we'll see how long the motivation lasts.

The baby presents are still arriving - look at the super nice diaper bag I got yesterday!

It's the Frankly Scarlet Baby Bag from Vera Bradley - and I love it. I never registered for a diaper bag - because I really didn't want a Winny the Poo bag or something else horrible like that (horrible for me - I understand many people will think that is fun). This is a great size, and I think really nice looking - so I was really excited to get it!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A new week

Well, last week I was feeling sort of whiny - but this week I feel a lot better. There is a lot to be said for the value of a weekend! Saturday was spent with friends - I did a little sewing, went out to tea, watched Ironman (I love that movie - Aaron ordered it so we now own it), then went to a dinner party. At the dinner party were two women with 3 month olds - it was great to get some good birthing advice from them. They both had natural childbirths... and were very encouraging. Plus, I got to hold the babies.

Sunday we spent going to my FILs and getting him some clothes, getting his mail, and other assorted things. We then went to visit him in the recovery center, and honestly came away a bit disturbed. He just seems really frustrated - and we couldn't find anyone to talk to. He tries to talk to us, and when we tell him we don't understand what he is saying - he gives up and gets angry. We bought a laptop at their request - he'll type gibberish on it and then get made when we can't read it. He asked us how we got there (by car) and tells us to take him out. When we told him he had to stay there, he gave us the finger. Nice, huh? Things is - Aaron and I have no idea what to expect. What sort of comprehension is really going on with him. Does he know that we can't understand what he is saying? Does he understand that he can't leave because he can't even sit up on his own? There really wasn't anyone there to answer our questions on Sunday - so we are planning a trip on Thursday morning, prepared with a list of questions so we can get to understand things better.

But in general, it's just really sad. We are glad that he is pretty much out of the woods in terms of the immediate issues (brain swelling, secondary strokes) but now we are settling into the harsh reality of what his life is going to be after the stroke. Seems to me like it's going to suck pretty bad - but maybe I'm just feeling down after Sunday's visit.

In happy baby news, my LO is moving around like crazy. I called to see the status of our crib - and it will be here by Nov 3rd! And the rug for the room has shipped! So, I'm hoping that this weekend Aaron will spend fixing the wall, so I can spend the weekend of the 8th decorating! Hurrah!

Friday, October 24, 2008

34 weeks.

3 weeks to go until full term. 6 weeks until my due date. And I'm officially ready to complain about pregnancy. I have a LOT of heartburn. Praise the lord for zantac. But I'm also getting lower back pain. That is remedied by sitting on my exercise ball (sometimes). The biggest complaint? My belly HURTS. It feels like things are getting torn up in there sometimes. If I roll over the 'wrong way' in bed - OUCH. Of course, I can't really determine what the right way is, because it seems to me like there is no difference between the times that hurt and the times that don't.

Wah. I feel like I'm being a baby. But whatever. I'm still able to work out at the gym... was on the elliptical yesterday for 30 minutes and it felt great. I also started drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea today. I've heard that it tones your uterus... and a lot of people on my natural birth board swear by it. I asked my doula, she isn't 100% convinced it does anything. But it doesn't hurt, so why not, she said.

Oh - want to see a picture of me bowling on Weds? It's a crappy iPhone picture - but still pretty funny:

Not the most flattering picture, but again, whatever.

I'm pretty glad it's Friday, like I am every week. Although it seems like the weeks are flying by - such a difference from the beginning of my pregnancy. Now, when I actually have things to do and no time to do it in - time flies! This week I really have minimal plans. My friend Tarsha is coming over to sew on Saturday... and that is it. We will be visiting my FIL in the recovery center (Aaron reports that he is MUCH happier there than he was in the hospital, so that is good). But mostly hanging out and doing stuff around the house.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Random Wednesday

1. Good news yesterday on the FIL front - he is eating on his own! No more feeding tube! We are pretty freaking excited about that - it also means that he will get discharged from the hospital and into a recovery center. I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of progress he makes with some real PT.
2. Fried Clams + Apple Cider = horrible, horrible heartburn.
3. I'm taking my team out bowling to thank them for a lot of hard work over the past couple months. I'll see if I can get a picture of me bowling. I'm thinking that is going to be pretty freaking funny.
4. I'm currently obsessed with lists. Christmas gift lists, people to call when the baby comes list, to do lists for stuff around the house.
5. I dreamt last night that I very easily gave birth, without my doula there and my doctor was looking the other way. When it first came out - it was a baby - but then changed into a puppy. I attribute this to my flip answer when people ask me what I'm having = 'It's a baby!'.
6. I'm getting a flu shot tomorrow. Let's hope for no yucky side effects.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Is it sinking in?

When I go to my doctors appointments, they have started saying things like 'You'll be full term in x weeks'. I laugh and say I'm just not ready yet - so this baby is going to have to wait the full 40 weeks. But in all truth, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Our lives are changing - in a HUGE way - and for sure that is going to occur sometime in less than 2 months. In general, I'm a big planner... and for this baby, I've done my fair share of planning. First, obviously, the IVF cycle. Then signing up for day care at 12 weeks, finding a doula, planning my maternity leave.... but other things? Things I thought I'd be totally on top of? Not so much.

For instance - the nursery. I have a few friends that are also pregnant right now, and some are due right around me. The rooms are totally done. Besides the fact that there is a hole in the wall (which I have high hopes for him closing up this weekend), my crib won't be delivered for a few weeks, there is NOTHING on the walls, and the rug was just ordered.

Sure, I had a shower, but I certainly haven't gone out and bought boxes of diapers or wipes...

Do other pregnant people feel like this? I have this vague understanding that a baby is due in my life on December 5th - but it seems kind of surreal. I love to feel the little guy/gal kick... I loved washing and folding and fondling all the sweet little baby clothes from the shower.... but it all seems kind of like an abstract idea more than a reality.

Or maybe I'm just going crazy.

Monday, October 20, 2008

OB appointment and 'surprise' shower

Again, I almost forgot about my OB appointment this morning. Everything was good - still measuring on track, baby's heartbeat in the 140s and I got to meet one of the docs in the practice that I hadn't seen yet. He was pretty nice. Makes me happy - as you don't really get a choice on delivery day who 'catches' the baby, and so far - I like all the docs in my practice.

This weekend was all about having fun. I was more than a bit burned out from the week, and Aaron insisted that I continue on with all my weekend plans. Saturday I had a BLAST at the Sheep and Wool festival - you can see the fun here. And on Sunday, I had my 'surprise' baby shower. I put surprise in quotes because my mom totally told me about it on Thursday. I had received some cute crib sheets in the mail from my cousin, and I called my mom to talk. I mentioned the sheets from Beth, and she said 'Oh - that is because she can't come on Sunday'. And I said - 'On Sunday?'. You could hear crickets on the other end of the phone line. But another person blurted about it on Friday - so at least she wasn't the only one.

Anyway - all my friends were there, and it was great. For big ticket items, I got my swing and my play station thingie. Yet another benefit of being one of last in my group of friends to get pregnant, is that I have friends with lots of stuff that I can borrow for this baby - like a car seat, baby tub, bottles, bottle liners, pack-n-plays. Sometime this week I'll start asking for those things that were offered up, but I didn't want to take until after the shower. As for the other gifts at the shower?

These are Aaron's favorite - hand made bibs:

She made little bibs with soccer balls, an 'I love my dog' one.... just too sweet for words.

I was starting to stress out that I had minimal clothes in the house for this baby - but those fears are now set aside:

Plenty of long sleeved onsies and adorable outfits - and all will match great with my huge collection of baby booties and sweaters. I did get one hand knit present, and a promise of two others - but none were finished in time for the shower. As a knitter myself, I totally understand that! I'll post those when I see them for real. Oh, and as I type this, I realized that I didn't take a picture of a very sweet car seat blanket one of my friends sewed up for me... I'll dig that back out for a picture later.

Next up? Baby books! One of my pals has 2 sons, and they helped pick out the majority of the books pictured here... but had a lot of trouble wrapping their brains around the fact that we didn't know if it was a girl or a boy:

So, maybe my daughter will love dinosaurs... I know I did when I was a kid!

And finally - super cute toys:

Now I get to start the fun of washing and folding up all these sweet little baby items.... and hopefully the crib arrives soon. I called to see the delivery status a few weeks back, and they had mentioned it should be here at the latest by the end of October. I also ordered that rug I posted about a few weeks back - and that should be here sometime this week. Once the crib and rug are here, I need to get going on decorating the nursery!

Friday, October 17, 2008


Man, has this week been crazy. Aaron is obviously a mess, so I've been trying to keep him somewhat calm, while continuing to work, and take care of a houseful of guests AND myself. I'm not sure if working was smart - because I've been somewhat useless - but my boss is on vacation, and specifically asked me if I would be working this week (even after he heard what I was dealing with). On Monday, when we talked, I didn't realize just how hard this would all be - so I didn't think it would be a big deal.

It kind of is.

I've learned a lot this week - some of it things that I wish I never had to learn. But others - like when someone dies or is sick - I know we all bring food. I've done it myself, but just because it is what I was taught to do. Turns out - that was almost the biggest help ever. Maybe it's because I'm 8 months pregnant, but the energy involved in feeding 5 people (I had my MIL, BIL, Aaron's best friend and Aaron and I here at one point) is huge. Shopping, cooking, cleaning up... having someone just drop stuff off - what a life saver. And the other things? Like friends forcing me to go with them fabric shopping, or to a pedicure or even this weekend, I'm off for the day to NY Sheep and Wool - great distractions.

Sitting in the house feeling bad for my FIL or Aaron pretty much just makes me cry - and thinking about the impact that this is all having on Aaron and his family breaks my heart. It would be so easy to just sit here in wallow in it, but again - lessons learned from all the IF shit - life goes on. You can sit and stew and get upset and rage at the world that life isn't fair.... or deal. Sure - we are still raging against the world, and yeah. Having your father have a massive stroke at 61 IS unfair. But we'll make it through. We know we will.

Obviously I wish we weren't dealing with it NOW. But you don't get to pick the timing of these things. And we have an awesome support network. So we'll make it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Rock Band and Baby Things

I think I've mentioned before, but in this household, we LOVE Rock Band. I hate video games.... LOVE Rock Band. We just got Rock Band 2, and it's been really great this week to have a distraction that is somewhat more interesting than sitting and watching TV. Last night we started the evening at our local Mexican restaurant - and let say that more than a few margaritas were consumed. More than a few toasts were raised to the fact that my MIL flew home yesterday, lol. Then we got home and there were shots of tequila. Aaron and his brother really needed to blow off some steam (and man, let me tell you how much fun that was being the one who couldn't drink).

Anyway - we are playing this song that Aaron has been trying to get 100% since we got this freaking game, and totally wasted out of his mind, he managed it:

He was happy, to say the least.

Since this is mostly a baby blog.... let me show you the quilt I've made for the room:

It's a really simple panel quilt - but I just love the little jungle animals - it is from the same fabric collection that my curtains came from. I have been looking for a while for the right fabric for the backing, but it was difficult to find something that matches, as I first bought the panel about 3 years ago.

On Monday, to try and regain some sanity, a friend and I decided to keep our plans for a trip to a quilt store. Look at what I found!

Perfect matching fabric from the same collection for the back! I'm also probably going to make bumpers for the crib out of this (I got 5 yards).

Today, Aaron and his brother are off to my FIL's house to get phone numbers of people that we don't have (like his housekeeper and stuff like that), clean out the frig, take out the garbage... blahblahblah. But after that, we are going to go see his younger brother's new daughter! She was born yesterday. I can't wait! Pictures of the little cutie tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


First - thanks for all the well wishes. Just last night, he is seeming to snap out of it a bit... he was pretty drugged up before. Aaron is taking the day off going to the hospital today and trying to just breathe today. But, my FIL still can't really talk, his right side is still not moving, and he can't swallow (so has a feeding tube).

This whole thing is turning into such a drama. For whatever reason - Aaron's mother is here. And trying to be heavily involved in everything. His parents were married for 33 years, but got divorced 7 years ago. They basically haven't spoken (except at our weddings) for 7 years. And she broke his heart - as she was the one who left HIM pretty much without an explanation. For Aaron (and his brothers) it is very difficult to see her at his bedside, holding his hand and rubbing his head. It's just strange and disturbing. Plus, it just feels like she is up to something - which makes us sound paranoid, but she is totally capable of something like that - which is sad.

Having my MIL in the house also is like walking around on eggshells. For instance, we are currently in 'trouble' for not inviting her for Christmas. Like currently as in she brought it up at the ICU. Adam tells me that she already had tickets to go to Portland for Christmas - so WTF!? So - first WHY DOES she care what our Christmas plans are when she isn't planning on being here anyway.... and FUCK! I'm not willing to make plans to have a bunch of people at my house near my due date! What if I go late? What if I'm not ready to have a houseful of people ?! And perhaps NOW isn't the time to HAVE that conversation.

My home is my sanctuary. And this weekend, I didn't even want to go home, because I had my MIL and BIL staying with us, and I needed to take care of them AND Aaron. The only one I want to be concentrating on is Aaron. I want to hold him close and protect him from anything that can hurt him anymore at this point. It sucks.

The only good thing in all of this is that the baby is kicking around like crazy - so every time I get a big kick, I smile and tell it that everything is going to be OK (more for me than the baby).

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Aaron's father had a stroke

On Friday, my FIL and I made this big plan to surprise Aaron and come watch a soccer game he was coaching. I arrived at the field, to see someone collapsed with Aaron laying down next to him.

Very, very long story short - it was a massive stroke, and their is not much we can do but wait. The doctors are being pretty (brutally) honest with us, and explaining that he may not regain speech or motor skills (he has no control over his right hand side). My FIL is basically Aaron's best friend, so this a huge blow to him. The plan this weekend was for me to go away while he and Aaron worked on that upstairs laundry room. That is another thing that makes this all so surreal - my FIL is only 61, and although not a pillar of health, certainly a strong man. So seeing him in a hospital bed, totally helpless and unable to speak - I'm unable to describe how that feels.

We are dealing pretty well. At first, Aaron was totally devastated that his was RIGHT there when it was happening, and couldn't do anything. I think we managed to talk him down from that when he realized that his father lives alone - and it's pretty much a miracle that he was with us when it happened (and not driving, or god forbid working in his woodworking shop). Aaron's brother is in from Portland, OR - and Aaron mother is also here. Aaron's best friend is also here for the week. So we have plenty of support around this week, but I'm thinking that this is going to be much more of a long haul thing. And a lot of the long haul will rest on Aaron and I, as he is divorced, one son is on the other coast, and his other son's wife is having their baby via c-section on Tuesday.. the rest of FIL's his whole family is in Chicago

For now - we are all holding up well, but I can see how this could easily cause us to burn out. Aaron's mother like to be all involved, but she is his EX-wife. So it's frustrating to Aaron to have her so involved.... but my FIL was obviously happy to see her when we went to the ICU with her today.

I don't even know what else to say. Maybe that this sucks? That doesn't seem to cover it. Our life has drastically changed in the past 36 hours.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Look what Aaron found

Yep. It's a Baby Hulk costume. So.... I guess I know what my baby is going to be for it's first Halloween. God save me if it's a girl, and the conversation I'm going to have to have to talk Aaron out of it.

Again, TGIF - but this past week wasn't half as bad as last. I'm on my way to the cabin tomorrow morning to spend some time with mom... so that should be fun. Leaving Aaron and the dogs here while he coaches a soccer tournament and works on the laundry room/closet. Hurrah!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

2 bads and a good

The bads:

I'M SO FREAKING HOT RIGHT NOW. I'm dripping in sweat at work. I went and got an Icee from the Mobil station, and have a fan blowing directly on me. But seriously. Hot. hothothothothothothothot.

I woke up at 3:30 AM hungry. I laid there for a while, thinking how the heck could I possibly BE hungry, considering I had a whole calzone to myself for dinner at 7:30. I didn't get up to get something to eat until 4. And then just laid there for another hour. So I'm hot AND tired. Whine.

The good:

I found the perfect rug for the nursery.

It's great match for the curtains and the other colors - but also not super 'baby' so it'll be able to be used for a while. I'm going to order it next week. Hurrah!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

OB appointments that you love

Last night, I was setting my alarm for this morning. I set it for 7:45 AM (my normal wake up time if I'm working from home). I laid down, started reading my book, and then totally realized that I had a doctors appointment this morning! This kind of cracked me up, as in the early months of my pregnancy I would be so nervous about each appointment - thinking about it for days or WEEKS ahead of time.

Guess it's hard to be nervous about things being OK when the LO is kicking around like a crazy baby all the time.

And the news from the doc is that all is perfect. My BP was 122/86, I lost a ½ pound from last time. The baby’s heartbeat was great, and I’m still on track for a medium sized baby (hurrah!) He also mentioned that I not only passed my GD test, but I was well below the threshold. So he was happy with that. He mentioned that I’ll be full term in 6 weeks – and asked if I was ready…. And I said – would a hole in the wall of the baby room indicate readiness? Hahaha. I then asked if there was any way he could feel around to see if the baby was head down, and he said he’d try – and feeling around he found the baby’s head-down, with it’s back to my right side. So that is good news! My doula tells me the next step is to get it moved so it's back it facing the left side - but we'll worry about that in a few weeks.

It's interesting to me that I lost weight - but not a HUGE surprise. First, I had a cold for almost 2 weeks, which made me not be able to taste anything. Then, the only time I feel comfortable is when I'm moving. So I've been swimming/walking pretty much every day. I'm 2.5 pounds away from moving the BIG weight on the scale up a notch - must admit I'd be happy not not ever hit that milestone, but with 8 weeks to go, I doubt that is going to happen.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


So. I don't know why stuff like this annoys me so much. But last night, I was at the gym. And two rather chatty ladies got on the elliptical machines next to me. They were chatting about how a local bank was rumored to not be doing well, so they moved their $30,000 out of that bank - so they wouldn't lose it. I kind of chuckled, and the other woman said - isn't that protected by the FDIC? And the other lady said - I think so? And since they were already talking so loudly I couldn't help but hear, I said - yep - you are totally protected up to $100,000 - and more now that the bail out bill passed).

They asked me how I knew that - and I said I work for Large Bank X (thinking to myself - um high school economics?!). And they thought that was a good answer. They also kept on asking me questions about how to use the elliptical machine (you know, because it's brain surgery). Needless to say - they were talking to me and looking at me for at least 20 minutes. As they were both getting off the machines, one asked how everyone was holding up in my office. And I said it was pretty stressful, but since my bank is one of the more stable ones - it wasn't too bad. Then I mentioned that I was really looking forward to my maternity leave.

She then said - are you hoping to get pregnant?

COME ON! Seriously? I'm freaking 8 months pregnant.

Guess they are in the camp that thinks I'm the unfortunate pot bellied woman. Sigh.

So I explained that I was due on Dec 5th - and they both looked at my closer, and said - good for you! It's good that you are still working out! And then went on to tell me that both had children (like I didn't know that from the 20 minutes of discussing their children's test scores.). It was hard for me not to say something nasty.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Coming home outfits

It's FINALLY not raining and/or cloudy here, so I can take some good pictures of the sweaters I made the baby. I'm a bit of an obsessive knitter, so knew I wanted to knit a cute sweater to bring the baby home from the hospital in. Problem was, we don't know if it's a girl or a boy. I finally decided to just go for it, and knit a pink and a blue sweater. I figure, if it's a boy - my friend down the street is due 5 day before me with a baby girl - so no waste there. If it's a girl, the little boy sweater isn't totally ALL boy - I could put flower buttons on it or something.

Mom and I want out last weekend to BRU and picked out the outfits to go under them.

If it's a baby boy, mom spotted this right away:
Because of the way the sweater is, you won't see the sweet little animals on the top - but the feet of this are little bears!
Can you stand it? We are doing a jungle theme in the nursery, and my mom is a bit obsessed with staying in 'theme'.

This is the super cute onsie I found to match the baby girl sweater:
Naturally, after I got it home, I noticed it's a 3 month size. Sigh. It is just right, so I hope I can find the same one in a newborn size.

Shopping for baby clothes is fun! But - a bit frustrating if you don't know the gender. I'm holding off on all other baby clothes shopping until I know what we have. I do have a few super cute onsies that friends have given us as hand-me-downs, so the little guy/gal won't be hanging around in just a diaper....

Friday, October 3, 2008


I've been reading a lot of books lately (hurrah for my new kindle!) - and I just sped through the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. If you haven't heard of it, they are YA books about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. If you like a little bit of trashy reading - it's totally addictive! Anyway - due to having the plot from that book on my mind (and I hope I'm not ruining the book for anyone) and my meeting with my doula, I had some totally crazy dreams last night.

As usual, I don't remember the whole thing, but basically, I had my baby (a little boy) that could totally talk to me - not outloud, but in my mind. He came in a really easy birth, and then people were freaking out and telling me what to do - and we just hung out by ourselves and were fine. Someone was telling me that babies couldn't take baths - and the baby and I looked at each other an laughed. We got into the shower together. It was just a funny and cool dream all at the same time. Don't you wish that you could read your baby's mind when it came out? Wouldn't have to stress about why it was crying - you would just know.

Anyway, I'm definitely finally feeling really pregnant. Haven't been AS uncomfortable as I was on Monday, or maybe it's just that I've resigned myself that it's time I start to feel different. I went for a walk yesterday, and really had to push myself to go for it. My lower back was hurting... but it did feel good to get out in the fall air. I love the fall, and the dogs love running around in the woods. I'm also realizing that walking the dogs with a baby will be an interesting, if not impossible task.

This week was crazy at work. I'm so glad that it is Friday I can't even put it into words, to tell you the truth. I'm going to prenatal yoga Saturday morning, and then I have a massage. After that? I'm totally just lounging around the house. And I can't wait.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's starting....

I'm getting uncomfortable. Mostly at night. If I'm not completely exhausted by the time I got to bed, I'm tossing and turning all night as different parts of my body go numb. Aaron tells me that on Monday night, I would swear for about 5 minutes (loudly, in my sleep) about how hot/cold/uncomfortable I was - and he would try to take the blanket off/on/adjust my pillows, only to have me wake all of the way up, and grumble about having to pee, and get up and go to the bathroom.

Yep - I'm so much fun it's awesome.

And now at work I can't sit for more than about 15 minutes without getting uncomfortable also - which is difficult because most of my job involves being in meetings for at least an hour at a time. I'm thinking of bringing in one of those exercise balls to at least sit on at my desk.

But last night I decided to go swimming, even though I didn't leave the office until late - and it was a great idea. Getting some exercise in while feeling weightless is great. Only weird thing was that there was only one other person in the pool, and she was also visibly pregnant. I kept trying to catch her eye so we could talk, and she never gave me the impression she wanted to. But whatever. I didn't get home until 8 PM, and by the time I got to bed, and was conked out! Only got up to pee (X 3). Hurrah!