Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Stuff

First - thanks for all the well wishes. Just last night, he is seeming to snap out of it a bit... he was pretty drugged up before. Aaron is taking the day off going to the hospital today and trying to just breathe today. But, my FIL still can't really talk, his right side is still not moving, and he can't swallow (so has a feeding tube).

This whole thing is turning into such a drama. For whatever reason - Aaron's mother is here. And trying to be heavily involved in everything. His parents were married for 33 years, but got divorced 7 years ago. They basically haven't spoken (except at our weddings) for 7 years. And she broke his heart - as she was the one who left HIM pretty much without an explanation. For Aaron (and his brothers) it is very difficult to see her at his bedside, holding his hand and rubbing his head. It's just strange and disturbing. Plus, it just feels like she is up to something - which makes us sound paranoid, but she is totally capable of something like that - which is sad.

Having my MIL in the house also is like walking around on eggshells. For instance, we are currently in 'trouble' for not inviting her for Christmas. Like currently as in she brought it up at the ICU. Adam tells me that she already had tickets to go to Portland for Christmas - so WTF!? So - first WHY DOES she care what our Christmas plans are when she isn't planning on being here anyway.... and FUCK! I'm not willing to make plans to have a bunch of people at my house near my due date! What if I go late? What if I'm not ready to have a houseful of people ?! And perhaps NOW isn't the time to HAVE that conversation.

My home is my sanctuary. And this weekend, I didn't even want to go home, because I had my MIL and BIL staying with us, and I needed to take care of them AND Aaron. The only one I want to be concentrating on is Aaron. I want to hold him close and protect him from anything that can hurt him anymore at this point. It sucks.

The only good thing in all of this is that the baby is kicking around like crazy - so every time I get a big kick, I smile and tell it that everything is going to be OK (more for me than the baby).

8 comments:

bleu said...

Oh I am so sorry for ALL you are both dealing with. And the MIL stuff addes is just not what anyone needs right now.

Sending lots of love.

Ruth said...

Getting caught up ... I am so sorry to hear about Aaron's dad, and for all the MIL drama you're having to deal with on top of everything else.

I'm thinking of you all .....

Becky T-Florida said...

No stress, just ignore the people that big you the best you can, don't risk the high blood pressure and going into labor early.
I'm sorrry about your FIL, my father is currently loosing his fight with cancer, so i know how devistated your husband must feel.

Frieda said...

I am so sorry about Aaron's dad. It is too bad you have to deal with your MIL also. I will be sending you a small package for the baby this week. I hope the rest of the week turns out better for you.

amysue said...

I am so sorry about your FIl and wish I had good advice about your MIL (well, I'd say insist she stay elsewhere, but no that isn't possible). Make sure that the hospital knows that Aaron is your FIL's point person for decisions and treatment discussions until your FIL can resume his own care and it doesn't hurt to let them know that your MIL does not have any "official" role as decision maker.

Hopefully he will gain back much of what seems lost now, it's still early.

You're a great friend and wife to Aaron and your instincts to keep him safe and loved are good ones. I hope the guests in your home respect that.

Sassy said...

That's so much to deal with. I hope your MIL doesn't cause you any trouble and your FIL improves soon.

Jen said...

I have been thinking of you and hoping for things to get better soon.

Sugar and Ice said...

I missed the first post, so I'm so sorry to hear about your fil. I don't blame you for being skeptical of the mil. The last guy I dated before I met my husband...his parents were married over 30 years as well and then got a divorce. His dad also had a stroke and something else (I forget...it's been over 10 years ago), and somehow his mother was made his power of attorney. The poor guy ended up broke. He had been a pharmacist for years, so he should have had plenty to pay for a really good assisted living facility, but she squandered it...it was terrible.