Saturday, October 11, 2008

Aaron's father had a stroke

On Friday, my FIL and I made this big plan to surprise Aaron and come watch a soccer game he was coaching. I arrived at the field, to see someone collapsed with Aaron laying down next to him.

Very, very long story short - it was a massive stroke, and their is not much we can do but wait. The doctors are being pretty (brutally) honest with us, and explaining that he may not regain speech or motor skills (he has no control over his right hand side). My FIL is basically Aaron's best friend, so this a huge blow to him. The plan this weekend was for me to go away while he and Aaron worked on that upstairs laundry room. That is another thing that makes this all so surreal - my FIL is only 61, and although not a pillar of health, certainly a strong man. So seeing him in a hospital bed, totally helpless and unable to speak - I'm unable to describe how that feels.

We are dealing pretty well. At first, Aaron was totally devastated that his was RIGHT there when it was happening, and couldn't do anything. I think we managed to talk him down from that when he realized that his father lives alone - and it's pretty much a miracle that he was with us when it happened (and not driving, or god forbid working in his woodworking shop). Aaron's brother is in from Portland, OR - and Aaron mother is also here. Aaron's best friend is also here for the week. So we have plenty of support around this week, but I'm thinking that this is going to be much more of a long haul thing. And a lot of the long haul will rest on Aaron and I, as he is divorced, one son is on the other coast, and his other son's wife is having their baby via c-section on Tuesday.. the rest of FIL's his whole family is in Chicago

For now - we are all holding up well, but I can see how this could easily cause us to burn out. Aaron's mother like to be all involved, but she is his EX-wife. So it's frustrating to Aaron to have her so involved.... but my FIL was obviously happy to see her when we went to the ICU with her today.

I don't even know what else to say. Maybe that this sucks? That doesn't seem to cover it. Our life has drastically changed in the past 36 hours.

21 comments:

Fertilized said...

Oh Cece - How horrifying. I am so sorry

bleu said...

OH HOW AWFUL!!! Aaron I am so sorry, to you your father Cece all of you.

I have seen amazing rehab of stroke patients who were thought never to talk or walk even and they went on to really recover most everything. I so hope this can be the case for your FIL.

Much much love to you all through this devastating time.

Cathy-Cate said...

Cece, what you all must be going through. Numb and helpless and probably pissed off at why this could happen. Truly, it is so fortunate that you invited him to the soccer game; if it had happened at home when he was alone, the prognosis would be way worse. Right now it's 'who knows'? But usually, truly, they're giving you worst case scenario, and there is regaining of function -- probably not all, and yes, life has irrevocably changed. That sucks so bad. Especially when you two are needing to prepare for the new little one, as is Aaron's brother....

We are all thinking of you and Aaron and his family, such good thoughts and wishes as you can't imagine. One day at a time. That's all you or anyone can do. Take care of yourself and baby through it all. We love you.

Zephra said...

I am so sorry. I am dealing with a situation with my Dad. He is having a triple bypass Tuesday because of severely clogged arteries and has several clogged in his neck too. I worry constantly about a stroke. You are in my thoughts.

Duchess said...

This is just awful. My thoughts are with you and Aaron and your families.

Valerie said...

I am so sorry this happened. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Jen said...

Oh, I am so sorry. I really hope things get better quickly. You will all be in my thoughts.

sarah said...

What a tremendous shock.

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I am so sorry, Cece. You, Aaron, his dad, and the rest of his family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things soon prove better than what the docs are warning at this point.

Jennifer said...

Awful. I am so terribly sorry this happened...I hope he recovers and has good rehab to help him regain his abilities!

Chelle said...

Poor Aaron! Strokes are so hard on everyone. My grandmother suffered multiple strokes throughout her life, and lost the use of her right side in one of her eary ones. The upside was that she managed just fine on her for probably 20 years following the stroke. She managed to live on her own and upkeep her house, cook for herself, and take care of herself. She couldn't drive, obviously, but her kids helped her out with making sure she got to wherever she needed to go. She died in her late 80s a few years back, and was only immobile at the very end. I hope that give you some hope that Aaron's dad might be okay. I don't know of the extent of his stroke, obviously, but hopefully he will be able to rally and still maintain some self-suffciency like my grandmother did.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I pray that his dad will be able to recover well. I'm sure he will never be quite the same, but I will hold out hope that he will fare well.

Loads of love and hugs!

Sassy said...

How scary. I'm thinking of you and your family. I really hope your FIL recovers soon.

Malloryn said...

I am so sorry -- my thoughts are with you and your family.

Lauren said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. My prayers are with you. It will be a journey with pedulating emotions. My grandfather had a stroke weeks ago and is in the same situation - no speech, no right side. But the rehab has been amazing and he's mumbling now - and eating. This can turn around. I will be thinking of you and your family!

JJ said...

Oh CeCe, I am so very sorry to hear this. Im keeping you all in my prayers...

nancy said...

I am so sorry for what's happened. All my prayers are with your family.

calliope said...

oh honey. I am so so sorry. Sending you & your family so much love.
xoxo

t said...

i am so sorry. it just must be so scary to see someone so strong going through something so difficult. i wish there were something to say or do to make it easier.

Samantha said...

I'm really sorry Cece. My thoughts are with you and Aaron.

DD said...

Thank goodness he was with someone. Yes, it sucks that it happened but it's a horrible thought to imagine what might have been if he'd been by himself.

tobacco brunette said...

Oh Cece...I'm so sorry to hear this news. I hope your FIL is improving and that you and Aaron and the rest of your family are okay. I'm thinking of you. Please take care.