Well, AF came on Sunday morning. Not too much fanfare or upset, to tell the truth. I'm more focused on getting ready for IVF than stressing out over my monthly failures.
Did I just write MY monthly failures? Like I could do something about it? Sigh. Last month was just like most of the others - we had great timing - but it didn't work out. I wonder if there is a breaking point. Where you more expect for your period to come, rather than hoping it won't? At least this month I didn't have the charts to go over obsessively, and she was a day early, instead of 4 days LATE like last month!
Tomorrow I'll be going in for my CD 3 bloodwork that I need to start with the IVF testing. And I'll keep on working out and eating right... and trying to lose weight to get ready for my RE appointment on the 29th. One thing I'm a bit upset about today... I've been weighing myself each morning for the past 3 weeks. I've seen a nice steady weight loss - but the day I got my period, I went up 3 pounds from the day before, and another pound this morning! WTF! I'm really really hoping it's just water retention and not me honestly putting that weight back on! Augh!
Showing posts with label General IF Angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General IF Angst. Show all posts
Monday, May 7, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Stress
I was going to write this whole big long post about how there is just no way on God's Green Earth that I could ever follow the assvice to 'just relax'.
It isn't in my nature.
But I have a really bad head cold, and I just can't concentrate. And I can't bring myself to take decongestants as I think I ovulated yesterday, and we had pretty much prefect timing, and I don't want to mess anything up for this month.
Fuck you, infertility.
It isn't in my nature.
But I have a really bad head cold, and I just can't concentrate. And I can't bring myself to take decongestants as I think I ovulated yesterday, and we had pretty much prefect timing, and I don't want to mess anything up for this month.
Fuck you, infertility.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Here we go.....
So. I have told so many people about my fertility frustrations, and I now have so many people routing for us to get pregnant - I decided that I should blog about it! I already blog about my knitting obsession, figured this would be a good outlet for my 'baby making' obsession.
First - let me explain the title of the blog. I've always just assumed that I would have NO problem making babies. My mom had 2 children, my father had 6 (!). And, as one college boyfriend described me, I have child bearing hips. Most would take offense - but seriously - I come from what some describe as 'peasant stock'! And when people asked me what I wanted to do when I 'grew up' - the answer I would give would be 'business women', but in my head, I would always think 'Mom'.
Let me get everyone caught up on where Aaron and I have been so far in our baby making journey. As with everyone else, I just assumed that when we went off birth control, we'd get pregnant right away. Aaron and I got married in 2004, and wanted to wait a year until we started trying. At that point, I was 29 and Aaron was 31. Plenty of time for babies! It took some convincing, but we went off the pill (after being on it since I was 16) in April 2005. As the first few months passed I figured that the pill was just getting out of my system. After the first 6 months, I then was blaming my weight (I am about 50 pounds overweight). I went to my doctor after trying for a full year on our own, and it was determined that all of my hormone levels were fine, Aaron was fine, and that our infertility was unexplained.
I was both relieved and annoyed. I ovulate. Aaron has more than enough swimmers. Shouldn't this all just work!?! But, with the doctors advice, we moved onto Clomid with IUIs. We did 3 cycles like that in June, July and August of 2006 - all without getting pregnant. In September, we had decided to pull out the big guns and move onto injectables. I just needed to wait for my next period.
Which didn't come. I was PREGNANT! For 10 days, I was blissfully excited. We went in for the 6 week u/s, and discovered that it was ectopic. What a crushing blow. They gave me methotrexate, which is a drug that helps dissolve the pregnancy (and hopefully avoids have the ectopic rupture a tube), and thankfully, for me, it worked. But, it meant much emotional stress and 3 months off of TTC. At a followup visit with Dr. N, he said that we should move straight to IVF. Insurance wouldn't cover IUIs for me after the ectopic, and we now had a 15% chance for an ectopic with any future natural pregnancy.
It took some time for both Aaron and I to come to terms with moving to IVF. We really didn't think we would need to come this far - and it still amazes me that I am having this much trouble getting pregnant. But - at this point, after two years of monthly disappointments.... I'm willing to go through it. We met with the RE today, and we are working towards a July ER and transfer date. We pushed it off for a few reasons - we still need to get insurance approved (and we have been told that takes about a month), I need to get some bloodwork processed, and the doctor would like me to lose some more weight (I've already lost 20 pounds since last year this time).
I think this blog will be a great outlet for me to vent about both losing weight and going through my fertility process!
First - let me explain the title of the blog. I've always just assumed that I would have NO problem making babies. My mom had 2 children, my father had 6 (!). And, as one college boyfriend described me, I have child bearing hips. Most would take offense - but seriously - I come from what some describe as 'peasant stock'! And when people asked me what I wanted to do when I 'grew up' - the answer I would give would be 'business women', but in my head, I would always think 'Mom'.
Let me get everyone caught up on where Aaron and I have been so far in our baby making journey. As with everyone else, I just assumed that when we went off birth control, we'd get pregnant right away. Aaron and I got married in 2004, and wanted to wait a year until we started trying. At that point, I was 29 and Aaron was 31. Plenty of time for babies! It took some convincing, but we went off the pill (after being on it since I was 16) in April 2005. As the first few months passed I figured that the pill was just getting out of my system. After the first 6 months, I then was blaming my weight (I am about 50 pounds overweight). I went to my doctor after trying for a full year on our own, and it was determined that all of my hormone levels were fine, Aaron was fine, and that our infertility was unexplained.
I was both relieved and annoyed. I ovulate. Aaron has more than enough swimmers. Shouldn't this all just work!?! But, with the doctors advice, we moved onto Clomid with IUIs. We did 3 cycles like that in June, July and August of 2006 - all without getting pregnant. In September, we had decided to pull out the big guns and move onto injectables. I just needed to wait for my next period.
Which didn't come. I was PREGNANT! For 10 days, I was blissfully excited. We went in for the 6 week u/s, and discovered that it was ectopic. What a crushing blow. They gave me methotrexate, which is a drug that helps dissolve the pregnancy (and hopefully avoids have the ectopic rupture a tube), and thankfully, for me, it worked. But, it meant much emotional stress and 3 months off of TTC. At a followup visit with Dr. N, he said that we should move straight to IVF. Insurance wouldn't cover IUIs for me after the ectopic, and we now had a 15% chance for an ectopic with any future natural pregnancy.
It took some time for both Aaron and I to come to terms with moving to IVF. We really didn't think we would need to come this far - and it still amazes me that I am having this much trouble getting pregnant. But - at this point, after two years of monthly disappointments.... I'm willing to go through it. We met with the RE today, and we are working towards a July ER and transfer date. We pushed it off for a few reasons - we still need to get insurance approved (and we have been told that takes about a month), I need to get some bloodwork processed, and the doctor would like me to lose some more weight (I've already lost 20 pounds since last year this time).
I think this blog will be a great outlet for me to vent about both losing weight and going through my fertility process!
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