Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Secrets

I'm going to admit, we've told a bunch of people I'm pregnant. Obviously, we've told the people that knew we were going through IVF. My mom. My brother. My father in law. Aaron has probably told EVERYONE he works with. I've told a few people at work - but all my friends (pretty much).

But we haven't told Aaron's mother, which means that his whole nosy, overly involved family isn't bugging me yet. I also haven't told my father and my stepmother - who will, I guarantee - really bug the crap out of me once they find out. I'm not showing (obviously) and I'm not so sick that I run from meetings at work to run to the bathroom. I feel like I have this little secret growing inside and I don't have to tell anyone that I don't want to.

Admittedly, I'm a bit nervous about the aftermath of our decision not to tell my MIL. This is a woman that called my SIL (who lives in Portland, OR - we are in Mass) and told her she didn't feel 'a part of this pregnancy' when she was pregnant with her first. So - I'm imagining major backlash when not only does she find out that we didn't tell her I was pregnant for months..... but that we didn't tell her we were back doing IVF!

For now, I choose to enjoy this little secret that Aaron and I are sharing - and the fun of talking about baby names and maternity leave and good things like that. Because all hell may break loose in a few weeks.

10 comments:

DD said...

You can always tell her you wanted to wait a little longer before telling her. Yeah, she may find out that you've told others before, but so?

Also, while it's your decision, I don't see why it would be important to tell her about the IVF if she didn't know before.

amysue said...

This is your choice and only you and Aaron can make it and you have a right to control the info.

After all I'd been through trying to conceive when we started the adoption process in 1995 I didn't tell many people because I was told it could take a year and I was scared it might not happen and I just wanted to reduce some of the stress. so yeah, when "suddenly" we were flying to China to adopt Em a few family and friends were hurt they weren't in the loop but they got over it the minute we came home with her!

Frieda said...

Just remember it is your life. You don't need the stress telling her will bring. Let Aaron deal with her when the time comes to tell her. You will make the right choice for you and that is what is important. Miss seeing you. Camp was so fun

Geohde said...

Screw offence, say I! Tell when you feel like it, and if that happened to be in labour at 40 weeks, so be it :)

J

Deborah said...

Um, she's NOT a part of your pregnancy. Or your SIL's. She can be part of the child's life, sure. But the pregnancy? Nobody's a part of that except you, Aaron, and the baby (and your RE, the ultrasound techs, your OB, a lot of nurses...).

I hope she doesn't make it too hard on you when she finds out, though.

Jennifer said...

Truly, your business is between you and your husband. If you choose not to share parts of your life with others - that's your decision and it's completely justified! Don't let the MIL get to you if she reacts!!!

Anonymous said...

As the father of this child I feel compelled to comment. Who we share with, when, and how much, is our business. You folks are all so positive and encouraging/understanding I love it. My mother, will have 2 choices, love that my wife is having a fantastic child, encourage and play the role that we decide she plays, or step the @#$$@# off and don't say anything. I'm sure the former will prevail. C is to fantastic to have to deal with any sh$%!!!! :)

Cece said...

OK - I'm crying now. I freaking love Aaron - can't you belive how sweet he is? But... now I know he reads the blog - no more slamming him on the blog...

: )

Meghan said...

You have the sweetest hubby ;)

I was going to echo everyone else's comments, it's your pregnancy and your baby. I say enjoy your secret. It's really fun when no one knows. Soon, it'll be quite obvious and you'll wish you could hide it and get people to stop touching you ;)

Cathy-Cate said...

I don't think my husband will ever comment on my blog!

If you feel the need for an excuse, say you wanted to wait until you were absolutely sure things were OK. You didn't want to worry anyone. Lots of women ask 'when it's safe to tell people'.

You could use this as late as you wanted, until you're showing or later!!

Just make sure no one tells the said family members about this blog, then the cat would be out of the bag and no mistake....