Today is the start of the second trimester. I'm 13 weeks today. Thirteen. Weeks.
One thing I've noticed in the past reading IF blogs, and certainly with NaComLeavMo - that being pregnant after infertility is a sensitive topic. We all know it's totally The Goal. And when someone is cycling, we click over on BPT day all excited to see if they are pregnant. And when they are, we are all like WOOT! But then, slowly, maybe we'll stop visiting. We get bitter when we see the u/s pictures. We cringe when they talk about car seats and what color the nursery will be. I know a lot of it is that we wish we were there. And we wish we weren't like that (the day I cried when I found out my sister in law was pregnant? I still wish that wasn't my first reaction).
I see some bloggers do that thing where in the 9th month of the pregnancy, they are still saying 'if I get to bring home a baby'. And that is sad to me. Sure, we've seen it happen - and it's horrible. But I'm going to admit, I am going to push forward and make plans and choose daycare and discuss doulas and knit little sweaters. Many may think it's too soon. But I went through this first trimester worried and constantly looking for problems. That isn't the way I go through my normal life - so why should I go through pregnancy this way? I want to be excited and have fun and ENJOY. And I know that I may lose some readers because that is too much or too 'in their face'. And I'm sorry. I still go to all my friends blogs who are cycling and cheer you on. Sometimes it's hard to type with so many body parts crossed as everyone gets closer to BPTs! But this blog is a telling of my fears, thoughts, and JOYS. After 3 years - I've finally gotten to the good point.
Here's to enjoying.