Well, I already knew that our family has a good heart, but now it's proven in Maggie's case. On Friday we went to see the pediatric cardiologist, and she had a totally normal EKG and echo. And, the doc was wonderful and sat down and really explained SIDS to us.
Turns out, it is VERY rare for a very young infant to die (assuming no known birth issues). He explained there are really only 4 ways an infant would pass away - a structural heart issue, a massive infection, a brain issue, and a different cardiac issue. The first 2 were ruled out in Nora's case already. But after listening to our story, he feels it's the 4th reason. All babies have a blood vessel that bypasses the lungs in-utero. When the baby is born, that blood vessel switches off, and in the first few days of life, the hole for it should close up. If it doesn't, there is a chance that the babies blood would bypass the lungs, and then non-oxygenated blood would be circulating around her body, which obviously is a very bad thing. He feels that this is what happened to Nora - even thought he can't really prove it.
The thing about this explanation is that is makes me feel better in a few ways. First - there is nothing Aaron nor I could have done to prevent it. It isn't like if we poked her and 'reminded' her to breathe that she would still be with us today. He assured us that even if we were holding her when it happened, we couldn't have done anything. Nor is it something that they could have seen in the many ultrasounds I had prior to her birth - it's a vessel that supposed to be there. And, there really isn't a way to screen for it after birth. He did talk about talking a blood oxygen reading while in the hospital (they do that in Sweden now) - if for whatever reason the blood is still passing thought that vessel the babies blood oxygen would be low sometimes... but it could also happen just one time with fatal consequences.
And - him taking the time to actually explain SIDS and the main causes of it has made me feel a lot better about Maggie and her health. We know her heart is perfect thanks to this visit, and now I know that my theory of making sure she is breathing all night is a little crazy.
Doesn't answer the way question - like WHY did this happen to us - but it does soothe a bit of our worries on if we could have done something and the stress of the possibility of it happening again.
Off to work on painting the blackboard wall - WOOT!