As I'm about 2 days away from official entrance into my third trimester (eek!) I've started working on things that I hope will allow me to achieve the natural (i.e. no drugs) birth I want. Some are little things - like sitting in the proper way to encourage the baby to be a good position. Some of these change make me sad - no reclining (I love to sit in my recliner and knit), practicing sitting 'Indian style' (not comfortable for me) and NO laying on my back.
I've also started listening to my hypno-birthing tapes, and reading a few books on hypnobirthing. One thing that totally cracks me up is the questions this one book has you ask yourself to see if you are 'ready' for birth - or if you will have doubts holding you back:
- Your own birth. They ask if their are bad stories around you own birth. Not here! My mom always tells the story that she 'spit me out like bubble gum'. Nice, huh?
- Other's birth stories. In my circle, I don't really have any horror stories - but I would be the first in of my family in my generation to have a vaginal birth out of the 6 children that have been born.
- Previous Labors - no experience there
- Parenting. I've already gone into this in detail - but I feel like we have a good parenting 'plan' in place.
- Support. Yeah. I've got that. Aaron is the most supportive partner a woman could ask for, and my mother is quivering in CT - just waiting to hop into her car to help me for 2 weeks after the baby is born. And I've got an awesome network of friends who are pretty excited about this baby too!
- Marriage/Relationship. The quote from the book - "Is your marriage/relationship secure, loving and mutually nurturing? Are you confident that your relationship is strong and that it will weather the additional concerns of raising a child?" HA! If I've learned anything going through this whole IF crap - is that Aaron and I have a rock solid relationship.
- Career. I've already got a plan in place for childcare, and a neat thing is that I'm working on transitioning my current work to one of my guys. When I come back - I'll be starting on a whole new project - which is exciting.
- Housing. They ask if there is room in your home for a baby. Um. we bought this house in order to have babies!
- Medical Care. I really love my OBs - and I have a great doula to assist me in the birth.
- Finances. At first, I was a little nervous about the high cost of daycare - but then Aaron got this new job, so things are in great shape. Having 3 years to get things in order on the finance side of the house is one of the benefits of taking 3 years to get pregnant!
Anyway - I know that a lot of these questions are actually issues for people in pregnancy.... but in a weird way - going through fertility treatments was a good way to prepare for the baby. We had to deal with a lot of stuff as a couple that most don't need to. We were able to really plan for this baby (housing, finances) in a way that many people aren't when they have a 'whoops' baby. Not saying it didn't suck to go through IF treatments, but I guess the confidence that you are READY is a silver lining.