Thursday, December 31, 2009

The year that defies description

I can't decide what to say about this year. Even if I only base it on this last month. Was it a shitty year? No. Was it the best year of my life... no. But it was amazing. Maybe that is the way to describe it - amazing. I had a full year with Hulk, how continues to astonish me daily. Like yesterday? The baby who barely eats any adult food? Turns out he loves lasagna. That cracked me up.

I was pregnant with twins for a huge portion of the year - which was amazing that it even happened to begin with, and then Aaron and I spent the year preparing for what life would be like with three children under the age of one. I was sick of being pregnant (would I have believed I would even write that 3 years ago?), scared for life with 3 babies, excited to meet them... overjoyed I didn't have to do IVF again.

Work was decent... no big crisis, but I found after coming back from maternity leave that I was really needed, and I did actually love my job - which was a decent revelation to make.

Then the girls were born! To finally meet them and hold was wonderful. To spend 5 days with them in the hospital was perfect. Taking them home was a bit stressful, but we were dealing. And then all hell broke loose less than 48 hours later. And then this month has been a really hard mix of joy with Hulk and Maggie, and shock and sadness over the loss of Nora.

Would I want this year to not have happened? No. Would I have changed a few things - hell yes! But I certainly don't wish this year away - and I can't even say that I wish 2010 is better - because if you try to look at the whole year - there is a lot of wonderful things that happened. That won't ever happen again. And the horrible things, we can pray they don't happen again - but they are part of life.

But I will say that I hope 2010 is a bit less eventful. How is that?

Happy New Year. We will be spending it eating food dropped off by caring friends and waking up every 3 hours with a super fussy baby that has us both wrapped around her little finger.

16 comments:

sukeyknits said...

Here's to uneventfulness!! A wonderful thing that is underrated.

Frieda said...

I hope the new year brings you much joy and happiness!

Ruby Girl said...

Have a wonderful year in 2010. It will be wonderful with Hulk as everyday is different as you know, it is wonderful watching them each moment and the joy of seeing them learn something different, and watching Maggie grow up with Hulk it will be an amazing year. We have been lucky that of Aahliyah's 17months they have lived with us for about 14 months, from newborn till around 8months, then from 11months till now, they have gone up north (her parents moved up there this year) to seek jobs and will stay if they find them. Happy for them but will miss them.

Michele said...

You are so right. So very right.

Happy New Year.

ferfischer said...

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't wish any of ours years away either, no matter how tragic and amazing they were. On to 2010!

HereWeGoAJen said...

You know, the year that defies description is just right.

Stariel said...

I just saw the link on your knitting blog, and while I've been reading there I haven't been reading here.

Just wanted to say hi and let you know that I'm so sorry to hear about Nora, but glad that Maggie is doing well.

Happy New Year!

Geohde said...

You are my operating definition of resilience,

xo

g

tnt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tnt said...

I so agree with you. What happens in the previous years teaches us just a little more on how we will react, respond, and deal in both the present and future years. The greatest things we pull from our past is strenth and development of friendships, and communities. Happy New Year!!!! May 2010 be the year of reaching out, doing more, and developing our communities.

emily said...

Hope you have a great and boring (uneventful) new year. ;) And hope to have some time this year to stop in and say hi! I think we'll be up early Feb?

Carrie27 said...

Well put.

Keep the events to a minimum, world.

La La said...

I think you summed it up pretty well hun. Hoping for a great 2010 for us all.

((hugs))

weebug said...

you continue to astonish me with the strength and fortitude that you are using to deal with what has happened. may the new year bring you peace and beauty, laughter and hope, as well as remembrance.

MyLifeMyWorld & Growing Families said...

Happy New Year to you too! Hope it becomes very very boring in all the wonderful ways life is.

Morgan said...

It seems like you had a rough year, and again- I am so deeply sorry about Nora.

I hope you and your family have a very blessed 2010!