Back and ready, I guess

I'm back from my trip. Honestly, traveling across country wasn't all that bad. Maggie was pretty great on the plane, and things really worked out that I got to bring her car seat on with me on the longer flights. So - I could hold her, but if she fell asleep, I could put her down.


The actual trip was a combo. I took it kind of as a 'soft launch' into the real world. Where Aaron wasn't with me to hold my hand, and there was about a 50/50 split of people who knew what happened and those that didn't. I did a lot better than I thought I would, in all honesty. Maggie was rough the first 2 nights, getting over being super tired, and then adjusting to the new time zone. I was freaking out a little, because I left Aaron home with a VERY sick little boy - and Aaron caught it too. I also had it a little, but not as bad as the boys. Anytime Maggie pooped - I was SO nervous that she was going to be sick too, but she never got it, thank god.

What I found is that I'm good. But I lack the ability to cope 100%. So, if everyone wasn't going my way I would sometimes lose my shit (like I couldn't find the right adapter for the video monitor one night and I started crying). On the flip side, I really, truly don't care about the little things anymore. My girlfriend that was driving me to the airport took a wrong turn, and we were going to be cutting it close to get to my flight... I seriously didn't care. Normally, I would get that tight feeling in my chest that I was going to miss my flight and start freaking out. I didn't. I told her not to worry, and I didn't either. I figured if I missed my flight, I would just catch the next one. A few other things like that happened on the trip - and I guess I've realized that there are things that are worth worrying about and things that just do not matter. It's nice.

Work starts on Monday. Which I think is a good thing. People ask me if I'm ready, and honestly - I have no clue. But how can you know until you try, right? I know we need the money!