The story

Phew. I need to get that post off the main screen, it's making me cry every time I see it.

Let me tell you about Wednesday. Cameron had some minor surgery scheduled for the morning (a follow up on the surgery he had last August). It was so minor, I wasn't even really worrying about it - just a few stitches, really - but where they are necessitated him going under anesthesia. We figured since we would be going right by the nursery where I found the tree, we would pick up the tree. And then I figured, since we had the tree, maybe I should call our minister, and put Nora's ashes in the ground that night.

You know, since we didn't have much going on that day.

Dumbass.

It was SO hard having Cam go in for that surgery. When we got into pre-op, of course Cam made friends with another little boy, and was sitting on the floor playing blocks. When it was time for his procedure, Aaron went with him and held him while they put a mask on him to get him to fall asleep, and he freaked out. I wasn't there, because I'm just not that tough - but even Aaron had a hard time with it. Then, waiting the hour it took for the surgery was just SO HARD. I was really worried about him, and when they finally called us back as he was waking up - I just sat there and held him and hugged him and cried. He was totally fine, of course.

On the way home, we stopped to get the tree. Which at first, they couldn't find on the lot - so I was freaking out. It was really hard for me to find a decent-sized, pink flowering weeping cherry (not like I had specific needs or anything). But we finally found it, loaded it the truck, and realized that it was REALLY REALLY heavy. Like 400 pounds heavy. So at first, our plan was to get the ashes in the ground, and then Aaron's best friend would come over on Thursday night and put it in the ground (an idea which I didn't really like - I just didn't like the idea of her ashes being there without the tree over it, but I figured that was the only way we could do it). When we got home, he obviously needed to get it out of the back of his truck - he couldn't drive around with this tree in the back for a day - so called a friend on the street. The guys almost managed to get it out of the truck on their own, but another neighbor saw what we were doing, and came to help. He is the kind of guy that knows everyone, and he was like - I'm calling a friend who is an arborist. He has a tree trolly that we can use.

At this point, the minister is here with the ashes, and we've got 4 guys in the front yard digging the hole a little deeper. I got the kids to sleep... and I come back outside, and turns out that our across the street neighbor was having a bunch of guys over to watch the Celtics. So now, we've got 7 guys, Aaron's friend from down the street (who, by the way, wife is one week overdue with their second child, and here he is helping us basically bury our newborn) and the minster standing around this hole, waiting for the tree trolley. We break out beers, start talking, and it's turning into something totally different than I expected. All these guys are father's and you can tell - they want to help. When the trolley finally arrives, the arborist is like - dude. That hole is way to big. So then, we've got seven guys in the hole, with shovels - dirt is flying.... and it's time to put the ashes in. My first vision of this was just Aaron and I and the minister. I look around, and realize that these guys aren't leaving. And Aaron and I look at each other and realize that it's perfect. We've had random people help us all along the way, and it's just right that these great guys are with us. The minister said the perfect words, Aaron put her ashes safely in the tree, and we finished planting the tree.

A totally emotionally draining day - and I've taken Thursday and Friday off work. I even allowed myself a little wallowing time yesterday. I brought the gang to daycare, and just laid in bed and cried a little, ate some cookies, and slept. In the afternoon, Suzanne came over and we knit and gossiped. Today, I'm going to do a little sewing and then housecleaning to get ready for the weekend.