Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Fat fat fat

If you've read me for any length of time, you know I'm fat. And don't say I'm not. Because I know. But I don't mind being called that anymore, because if I did mind it, then I would be ashamed of myself. I'm not. After a lifetime of wishing I could wear 'normal' clothes, and always wanting to order a donut but not because of whatever version diet I was on at the time didn't allow donuts or just the general frustration over the fact that I have always exercised and eaten pretty well and never seem to be able to lose weight, I finally said ENOUGH. That is the point that I threw out the crappy wardrobe that I've been wearing 'just until I lose weight' (most things bought at Target 5 years before) and just stopped the self hate.


This body of mine? It's done a whole hell of a lot of awesome things. And it still does.

I have to admit when I found out Cam was a boy, I was secretly relieved because I was VERY worried about passing on my body issues to a daughter. Then, I found out I was pregnant with twin girls? I couldn't stop smiling for days - so it's kind of sad to me that my only thought was of body issues and not the excitement of having a girl. I read and thought and stressed out about how I would deal with it. And I find that when I hang out with other mom's of girls, it’s a big topic of discussion. I think that now with the whole 'war on obesity' it's even harder to get a good message to your kids. FAT = BAD! No consideration for how bodies change and grow throughout life in preparation for puberty, etc.

So on that day, 4 years ago, I decided that I needed to throw away my worries about my size, and worry about my BODY. We always eat healthy. Yes, we go out for ice cream, but most things are done in moderation. We don't smoke nor do we drink excessively. And we exercise regularly. And then, studies like this come out. If you study and compare people who are fat versus thin and their 'healthy habits' (great visual here) that fat people can be as healthy as thin people.

I talk to a lot of people about exercise, and I hear the same thing over and over - no matter how much I work out - I'm not losing weight! And that makes me cringe. People give up on exercise all together because their only goal is to be smaller - not to have a stronger, more healthy body at whatever size it may be. Or thin people who don't exercise because they don't need to (thinking that since they are thin they are automatically 'healthy'. Sorry folks, not how it works.) I know from years and years of exercise that I don't lose weight from working out - but damn do I still get a lot out of it. Stress reduction, different social circle, personal quiet time, and better sleep!

So I've decided that is my message to both kids. Don't worry about the SIZE of your body. Worry about what you can DO with that body. And love it for what it can do, not what it looks like.

8 comments:

BrandiH said...

I think that's a great message to send to the kids! And maybe how more people should look at themselves!

Deborah said...

Wonderful message! I am overweight, but I am always healthy when I go to the doctor. I go running 1-2 times a week and eat lots of fruits and veggies. And I agree, focusing on what your body can DO is a much better attitude.

Kat said...

I often read rarely comment, and I just wanted to say that I love this. I am fat but also vegan, active and pretty happy with myself in general. One of the reasons I started reading your blog when I stumbled across it was because I was terrified of making an appointment with an RE because of my size and was sticking with my gynecologist and ineffective clomid treatments for my pcos because of that fear. I now find myself feeling inordinately grateful that the fertility clinic we ended up at didn't laugh me out the door at first sight. It's crazy how often people judge others based on their physical appearance and not the things that they do with their bodies. Fingers crossed we are doing our first IUI next month.

Catwoman73 said...

I think it's a fantastic message to send our kids- particularly our girls, who seem to be feeling the pressure to be thin earlier and earlier. I have always been unhappy with my body. I felt fat even before having my daughter, even when I weighed 90lbs! But I've recently started to try to change my focus. I am not overweight, by any means, but I've been unhappy with what I see in the mirror every since I gave birth to my daughter. I started running again recently, and am focusing on eating healthy, without such an emphasis on the scale. It's a tough shift for me, but I feel better for it.

Michele said...

YES YES YES!!! Healthy is the goal, not a number on the scale.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I love this message. We don't talk much about weight in our house, but I am shocked how much others do around Elizabeth.

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Carrie27 said...

Great, great message.