Fat fat fat

If you've read me for any length of time, you know I'm fat. And don't say I'm not. Because I know. But I don't mind being called that anymore, because if I did mind it, then I would be ashamed of myself. I'm not. After a lifetime of wishing I could wear 'normal' clothes, and always wanting to order a donut but not because of whatever version diet I was on at the time didn't allow donuts or just the general frustration over the fact that I have always exercised and eaten pretty well and never seem to be able to lose weight, I finally said ENOUGH. That is the point that I threw out the crappy wardrobe that I've been wearing 'just until I lose weight' (most things bought at Target 5 years before) and just stopped the self hate.


This body of mine? It's done a whole hell of a lot of awesome things. And it still does.

I have to admit when I found out Cam was a boy, I was secretly relieved because I was VERY worried about passing on my body issues to a daughter. Then, I found out I was pregnant with twin girls? I couldn't stop smiling for days - so it's kind of sad to me that my only thought was of body issues and not the excitement of having a girl. I read and thought and stressed out about how I would deal with it. And I find that when I hang out with other mom's of girls, it’s a big topic of discussion. I think that now with the whole 'war on obesity' it's even harder to get a good message to your kids. FAT = BAD! No consideration for how bodies change and grow throughout life in preparation for puberty, etc.

So on that day, 4 years ago, I decided that I needed to throw away my worries about my size, and worry about my BODY. We always eat healthy. Yes, we go out for ice cream, but most things are done in moderation. We don't smoke nor do we drink excessively. And we exercise regularly. And then, studies like this come out. If you study and compare people who are fat versus thin and their 'healthy habits' (great visual here) that fat people can be as healthy as thin people.

I talk to a lot of people about exercise, and I hear the same thing over and over - no matter how much I work out - I'm not losing weight! And that makes me cringe. People give up on exercise all together because their only goal is to be smaller - not to have a stronger, more healthy body at whatever size it may be. Or thin people who don't exercise because they don't need to (thinking that since they are thin they are automatically 'healthy'. Sorry folks, not how it works.) I know from years and years of exercise that I don't lose weight from working out - but damn do I still get a lot out of it. Stress reduction, different social circle, personal quiet time, and better sleep!

So I've decided that is my message to both kids. Don't worry about the SIZE of your body. Worry about what you can DO with that body. And love it for what it can do, not what it looks like.