Weekending

I just got back from the most wonderful long weekend. It’s the first of many this summer, as we have changed from the very easy for us 5 day a week daycare to a bit of a cobbled together child care plan. Our usual week has the kids in daycare 9 hours a day, and we will spend about 4 awake hours with the kids during the week, and the weekends are busy.


The past 5 days were certainly busy, but a different kind of busy. We visited the zoo, we celebrated the 4th, went to parties. But I also had blocks of time where I just sat and watched my kids. And honestly, it was a gift. Because I’m not with them 24X7, I don’t get to see just how great they really are. We spent the entire day at the lake on Friday while Aaron was at work. It was awesome for many reasons, but I pretty much got to watch Cam figure out how to swim. All day he tried different things, got braver and braver, and by the end of the day? Swimming without a bubble. Insane.

Maggie spent the entire day on the edge of the lake making little imaginary worlds. It was a camp day, so we would stay constant, but new batches of kids would appear every few hours, and Maggie would rope new groups of girls into playing with her… so great to watch.

Midway through the day, the ice cream truck came. I handed the kids money and they ran up the hill to get their treats, no worries about being away from me and SO excited that they paid themselves. I love it. I just think this is such an amazing age to experience. Things are clicking in their brains and they are learning. The work that Aaron and I have put in over the years of consistent parenting and messages – I think it’s finally paying off. They know what is OK to do (most of the time) they know what they are capable of, and now they just DO it.

It was only five days off, but it was awesome.

Rain?

It was supposed to rain all weekend, so I made indoor plans for both Saturday and Sunday. But when Saturday ended up being rain-free, I decided to just wake up and take the kids to the town beach after breakfast and stay outside until the rain came. As I was packing up the swim bags, one of my friends (whose son is Cam's very best friend) called and asked if we wanted to go hang out at the very exclusive pool she belongs to.


Um. YES.

We thought we'd only get a few hours in, but the rain never came. We spent 6+ hours swimming, using their splash pad, jumping off the diving board - they even had staff organizing dodge ball games and crafts! It was an amazingly fun day. The thing that really made it extra special is that Cam's friend can swim. Cam watched him stick his head under water and jump off the diving board and he was all in. By the end of the day, Cam was swimming under water, diving for those dive ring things and just having a BLAST.

My dad used to always say to me 'Give success a chance to happen'. I love raspberries. And Maggie loves raspberries. Going to a pick your own patch is wicked expensive, and so is buying them (even in season). But I know someone at my church that is often talking about her raspberry patch and offering up 'volunteers' to those interested in starting their own patches. Her house was right on the way home from the fancy pool, so I called to see if we could pop over and pick some berries. She was more than happy to let us over.

Cam was so funny. He said to me - I don't like eating these - but I LOVE picking them!

Maggie ate more than got in the container.

But, the raspberry patch was outside the fence. So we didn't know about all the exciting things INSIDE. They happen to have the most awesome dog, Max, who loves raspberries. In this picture, he is 'begging nice' for Maggie to give him one. She was enchanted with this dog!

Then, the kids turned their head and saw the trampoline. OMG. So happy.

Needless to say, they kids were wiped out last night. Cam was asking if it was past his bedtime at 6:30. They both passed out in seconds when they laid down. And Aaron is willing to put in a raspberry patch in our yard! To say I'm excited is an understatement.

Happy weekend - and excited for my short week at work this week!

Friday Night leftovers

• It's offical. Summer is here! Yesterday was the last day of school in my town, and pre-k graduation at my kid's school. Cam is starting Pre-K in the fall and is super excited about it.
• I'm a little worried about it, because it's a more structured environment for him, and he has his group of friends that we call the Fearsome Foursome. They will all be together in Pre-k, and I just have a bad feeling about it.
• So bad, in fact, that for the first time, I'm asking for a parent/teacher meeting at school to talk about their plans to handle (and hopefully spilt up) the 4 of them.
• It's been raining here for a week, and the forecast is for rain for through next week.
• We are supposed to ride in our local 4th of July parade in an antique car, and I literally hope it doesn't rain on our parade!
• This past week I hit 100 miles total swum for the year. To non-swimmers, that may not sound like a lot, but to give you an idea - at a normal swim team practice we swim about 2 miles, and it takes 90 minutes.
• This week also marks a full year that I've been back in the pool. I'm so glad that I'm back to it.
• This week I was super proud that I had 'kept up' with my CSA (eating/cooking up all the veggies). Then I realized it was Thursday, not Tuesday, and I had missed a pick up. Sigh.
• Cam has been asking a lot of questions about God. I guess one of his buddies at daycare has been talking about it a lot. On our way to school the other day, I had this funny converstation:
• Cam: Mommy, is God a good guy?
• Me: Yes, he is a good guy.
• Cam: So are dogs. And alligators!
• So at first, I was like - OMG what do I say to him about god. And then I realized, after talking to the mom of the boy who has been talking a lot about god - that the stories in the Old Testament, they are a lot like super hero stories. So of course Cam is totally interested in God. If you ask him, he thinks that God is bigger than a giant! And people can fly up with jet packs to see him!

Fat fat fat

If you've read me for any length of time, you know I'm fat. And don't say I'm not. Because I know. But I don't mind being called that anymore, because if I did mind it, then I would be ashamed of myself. I'm not. After a lifetime of wishing I could wear 'normal' clothes, and always wanting to order a donut but not because of whatever version diet I was on at the time didn't allow donuts or just the general frustration over the fact that I have always exercised and eaten pretty well and never seem to be able to lose weight, I finally said ENOUGH. That is the point that I threw out the crappy wardrobe that I've been wearing 'just until I lose weight' (most things bought at Target 5 years before) and just stopped the self hate.


This body of mine? It's done a whole hell of a lot of awesome things. And it still does.

I have to admit when I found out Cam was a boy, I was secretly relieved because I was VERY worried about passing on my body issues to a daughter. Then, I found out I was pregnant with twin girls? I couldn't stop smiling for days - so it's kind of sad to me that my only thought was of body issues and not the excitement of having a girl. I read and thought and stressed out about how I would deal with it. And I find that when I hang out with other mom's of girls, it’s a big topic of discussion. I think that now with the whole 'war on obesity' it's even harder to get a good message to your kids. FAT = BAD! No consideration for how bodies change and grow throughout life in preparation for puberty, etc.

So on that day, 4 years ago, I decided that I needed to throw away my worries about my size, and worry about my BODY. We always eat healthy. Yes, we go out for ice cream, but most things are done in moderation. We don't smoke nor do we drink excessively. And we exercise regularly. And then, studies like this come out. If you study and compare people who are fat versus thin and their 'healthy habits' (great visual here) that fat people can be as healthy as thin people.

I talk to a lot of people about exercise, and I hear the same thing over and over - no matter how much I work out - I'm not losing weight! And that makes me cringe. People give up on exercise all together because their only goal is to be smaller - not to have a stronger, more healthy body at whatever size it may be. Or thin people who don't exercise because they don't need to (thinking that since they are thin they are automatically 'healthy'. Sorry folks, not how it works.) I know from years and years of exercise that I don't lose weight from working out - but damn do I still get a lot out of it. Stress reduction, different social circle, personal quiet time, and better sleep!

So I've decided that is my message to both kids. Don't worry about the SIZE of your body. Worry about what you can DO with that body. And love it for what it can do, not what it looks like.

LIfe is a Pie

This is an extension of what I was saying yesterday. Time. Everything takes time. You need to decide what to do with that time, because you only get a certain amount of it. This is not a groundbreaking discovery.

When I was struggling to get pregnant, I was seeing a therapist. At the time, besides the whole issue of infertility, I was struggling with just starting to have our own home and be a wife. In Aaron's family, every woman has an amazing garden. They can their own pickles. Aaron's aunt still irons her SHEETS. My mom always baked her own bread. Her house was perfectly clean, all the time. As I was struggling that with all the hormonal crap of infertility, I didn't understand how these people did it all! He helped me with a lot with his explanation that life as a pie. The size of the pie - it never changes. What you do with your 'pie' that is what shifts. He asked me - when do you remember your mom baking that bread? Was it when she was first married? With small kids? Just starting out her career? Doubtful. He reminded me to find what was important to me, and to have that be what I worry about spending my time on.

For Aaron and I, before we had kids, we were big into triathlons and working out. When I wasn't swimming or running or biking, I was knitting. And we used to go out a lot on 'dates' - out to dinner, out to movies, and spending time with friends.

Here would be my sample pie from a 'perfect' week. Working a normal day, a 1.5 hour workout (the 'health' part of the pie), sitting and knitting, and spending a small amount of time cooking/cleaning/laundry.

And then there is now. I've changed from working out 1.5 hours a day to hoping I can fit in about 5 hours of swimming a week (and those 5 hours include travel time to the pool). My only 'hobby' is really just reading a book before I fall asleep. I thankfully am at a time in my kids life where I still manage at least 6 hours of sleep a night - but usually 8. The housework is more - because we have a bigger house and more people to clean up after. So I've hired a cleaning service to help with that. And then there is the whole classification of 'kid stuff' - making lunches, giving baths, reading books, going to tee-ball, play dates, building blocks.

Sure. There have been weeks when my pie is totally taken up with unexpected things - caring for a sick kid, or Christ, dealing with grief.... things that need to take over for that time. But in normal life, when I get overloaded - I take a deep breath and visualize my pie. What is eating it all up? What do I need to change to get things back to normal? Manageable? What do I do that makes me feel better?

Just a year ago, I didn't spend ANY time working out. I spent that time sitting on my butt knitting or watching TV. But now, I use that time to swim. It's a vital part of my mental AND physical health.

It's a great visual for a statistics geek like me.

Away

Last week I took a planned trip away. In normal Cece-style, I invited all my friends, as I was renting a house that sleeps 10 people. But everyone was busy, breast-feeding still or had just gone on vacation and couldn't take time off. Only one friend could come, and only for one night. So I went on Wednesday after work and was home with the kids for dinner on Friday. It was wonderful.


This is my thing. I think Aaron and I have a pretty great balance going. We both work. I take the kids to school in the morning, he picks them up at night. We all hang out together until bedtime. Two times a week I go to swim team while he stays home with sleeping (hopefully) kids, and on the weekend I will go swim for Saturday afternoon, and I usually take the kids somewhere alone on Sunday afternoon. The rest of the time we spend together having fun. Aaron goes away a few times a year for long weekends with his friends, I do the same. We also take family vacations, date nights and more recently have even been doing nights away as a couple, without the kids.

I'm sure that what works for us is not what works for everyone, but I know that I really needed that 24 hours of complete alone time. I had dinner alone at a wonderful Mexican place. I got a massage. I went for a bike ride. I sat on the beach and read a book. And then when my friend got there, we had a great time sitting around and gossiping and laughing and drinking a bit too much wine before we headed to bed. Friday we went out for breakfast, talked more, and left. This weekend was a big mix of family time and parties and ending Sunday with an impromptu BBQ.

Growing your career is important. Spending time with your kids is important. Time with your spouse is important. Exercise is important. Key thing in there? Time. So many relationships to foster and only so much time.

I don't even know what to say here, but I'm glad I had a perfect mix this weekend of family time, friend time, and alone time. And I know Aaron and I need a date night soon.

Out with a bang

The block party was a huge success. As Aaron and I have done this stuff more than once, it wasn't all that bad for set up/cooking/take down. We had a bounce house, a fun ride called a Happy Wagon, the ice cream truck came, two bands, great food and everyone had a great time. But, there is a lot of stress when trying to pull big groups of people together. And drama. So much drama. I've been doing this for 3 years, and it's the last. Going forward, I'll just do a big 'hurrah for summer' party that I don't need to satisfy everyone for.

Here are some highlights:

One of our neighbors works on an Air Force base. We got this insanely large bounce house for $125. How awesome is that? It's bigger than my house.

 I arranged for the ice cream truck to make a stop. No matter the age of the kids, EVERYONE loves the ice cream truck!

 Here is the Happy Wagon. It's so hard to describe - the man who drives it is the husband of my son's preschool teacher. Such a hilarious guy. He and a friend came up with this idea, and made this 'ride' I guess you could call it? He shows up at all local events (Springfest, local daycares) and the kids LOVE it. My kids never got off.

 He cut us a deal for a shorter visit, and my mom paid for it as a summer gift to the kids. BIG hit.

It was a great day, and totally worth all the work of organzing.