Things are much different this cycle. I had less eggs, but more embryos. We even froze 3! If you were to ask me how confidant I was that this cycle worked - I think I would be at 75% right now. Last cycle, I would have run to the computer and google my odds based on my situation. This cycle, I'm pretty busy - hanging out with friends and doing things. Last time, I would get home from work, and sit and knit and wait until it was time for my shot at 9 PM. If I went out, I was sure to be home 9. Or I would just not go. I totally focused my life around the cycle. I didn't fit the cycle into my life.
I think the biggest help in all of this is the promise to Aaron that I wouldn't be obsessive with the googling/preg.org. I actually only googled ONCE this cycle (to find out more about Menapor) and haven't clicked over the preg.org once. I have been blogging, but to me, you guys are more Cheerleaders than Obsession Buddies. When I mentioned no pee sticks for me? You all just said - wow - I can't believe you can wait. When I talked about not using an HPT on preg.org last cycle - people were all over me, telling me to test, and when I mentioned that I promised Aaron I wouldn't - there were like "Just test and don't tell him!" WTF.
But, the one little thing that I've been noticing, this cycle I'm picturing funny things in my mind. Like how big my baby would be. Aaron and I are big people - would our newborn be small enough to fit in the palm of Aaron's hand? And I've been thinking, that with our new bedroom furniture, where would the bassinet fit? And then chuckling to myself that I could always stow the baby in the big drawers under the bed (joking!). Or how big I will be in the summer when I've committed to teaching some craft classes?
Hm. Time with tell. 6 sleeps until my BPT. I can't think now about how I will react if it's negative. I think I'll be OK. I know I can handle doing this all again, I just don't want to.