Monday, September 10, 2007

Decision to not obsess

Due to certain signs that we all know so well, I'm pretty sure I'm either ovulating or damn close. The part that we can control? Taken care of for this month. Will my ovaries and tubes cooperate? That is yet to be seen. Based on historical evidence, I'm going to guess it's a no, but as usual, hope is in the house... so for the next 2 weeks I'll be obsessively checking for signs.

Ever since New Doc mentioned that she was having the insurance coordinator submit for this month...I've started to somewhat stalk her. I called once, and listened to her message which indicated she was on vacation until Sept 10th. It said if it was an urgent IVF matter, I could call her colleague. I huge up, thinking to myself that it wasn't really 'urgent'. A few days past. I now had managed to convince myself that it is urgent, as the last time I has talk to her, she still didn't have Aaron's SA in my file. I should just call her colleague to see if they got that.

So I called. And she was really nice, but wasn't familiar with my case (what the heck did I expect!?!?!?). But looked into things, and gave me a new fax number I could have them resend the SA info to - just in case. Which I did. And then I was tempted to call to see if she got it. Which I thankfully didn't.

This morning, I picked up the phone to call my 'real' insurance coordinator (you know, since it's her first day back into the office, and I'm sure she won't be too busy, asshole that I am). I left her a voicemail telling her that I was trying not to be a stalker - but I wanted to double check that she had everything she needed to submit for IVF.

After I got off the phone, I realized that I'm being a bit of a freak, and am now making the conscious decision that I can't keep obsessing about this stuff! I was at peace only a week ago to wait until Dec for IVF. And now that I have this little sliver of hope that is will be sooner, I start twisting myself up in knots waiting to hear if it will be?

Must. Stop. Obsessing.


Baby Step said...

I am right with you on the IVF OCD. I haven't even chosen a clinic yet, and I have a one track mind!

Changing Expectations said...

OCD comes with IVF. I don't think that you are a stalker at all. I think that it probably helps her out knowing that you are really wanting to get this taken care of.

mamacate said...

I'm with changing expectations. I think I tried every psychological stance in the book (and a few that weren't), and the only thing that ever worked was just accepting that I would obsess, and forgiving myself for it.

Also, I know your clinic very well, and friendly, respectful pestering is the A-#1 way to make sure everything goes smoothly. You need to do that, and as long as your friendly and understanding with the staff, they know it as well as you do. Don't worry, go ahead and obsess. Aint nothing wrong with it, and you couldn't be the craziest person on their caseload if you tried, trust me.