Of course.

Things in the stomach area were pretty much settled down last night. Aaron took the evening feeding so I could sleep all night. When he left for work - I was feeling good. But then I started getting crampy again, and I was like - NO! Well, it wasn't sickness cramps - it was another kind of cramp.

CD 1.

It's almost been a year! And I continue to feel like ass - but at least that explains why I needed the cookies so badly, and even continued eating them when I noticed they tasted a bit off.

It does feel good to be back in the land of the living... but we are having a bit of a family drama. My brother - who has not had the greatest last couple of years (foreclosure on his house, fired, bankruptcy) just got fired from his latest job. And was admitted to the hospital for 3 days because they were worried he was going to hurt himself. I talked to him today - he seems OK. We worry about him, obviously. But this is becoming a trend. And we certainly can't (won't, really) help him financially - he is really horrible about money and budgeting. Giving him money will just enable that. Hopefully this is the kick in the ass he needs to get things in order. Being fired from 2 jobs in 3 years must be some sort of a wake up call, right?

Death by Girl Scout Cookie

Yesterday, I wanted something sweet. I look in the cabinet, and I found Tag-a-longs (peanut butter and chocolate girl scout cookies). I have no idea when we got these - but they were at least a year old... if not 2. But seriously, can cookies go bad?

The answer to that question is YES. I've been throwing up since 6 PM last night. Aaron had to stay home from work to take care of Hulk. I feel like ass.

Wordless Wednesday

Well...

I survived my father's visit. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. He is so old now, and in such poor health - he really doesn't pull out the normal lectures (which involve his opinion on world affairs - which are racist, sexist and homophobic). He does tell the same stories over and over again (how proud I was of myself the first time I rolled over, what a 'joy' I was to raise.... blah blah blah). But - I will say - this was the first time I wanted to run away with Hulk to another room. My father wanted to hold him - and Hulk just really didn't like him. And my stepmother pretty much kept him awake the whole time. But I took a deep breath, and just let them have at it. I figure it was only for 2 days, and they live in North Carolina. And my stepmother was LOVING spending time with him.

Today, I was going to allow myself to do nothing except knit and let Hulk have downtime. But I got an email from a knitting friend that she was having people over to knit from 10:30 - 12, would I like to join them? I was like, sure! And I ended up staying there until 3:30. Hulk was much more fussy then usual, but I needed some 'friend time' to decompress. It was great. And he is now sleeping happily in the swing. And tomorrow we are expecting another ice storm, so we'll stay home and recharge tomorrow.

I also had a successful gym trip today! Hit the elliptical for 40 minutes, and then soaked in the hot tub. I feel great. I'm going to give that spin class another chance on Thursday morning - I just need to remember to sign up tomorrow morning.

Ok - off to bed.

Ah... the weekend.

So. Weekends used to mean something! Like, it's the end of the workweek, and I can relax? Or - at least - Aaron will be home and he can take over some Hulk duties? But this weekend is a little different. Aaron went to he best friends house to help work on a huge renovation, and tomorrow, my father is visiting. I will say that Hulk is being very sweet today - cuddled in bed with me until 10:30 (if by cuddling I mean 'squirming and giggling, and having a bit of bottle ever few minutes... then falling asleep and demanding his binkie be returned when he spits it out so he can go back to sleep' cuddling...). Now he is sleeping on my chest.

I have a few things to share with you all today. The first is a great store that sells ONE COLOR onsies. I hate baby clothes. I hate that they all have teddy bears or ducks or pastels. Well, I won't say that - because one of my very favorite PJ's that he has are little ducks all over it. But - for the most part - what is wrong with a plain, red onsie? Why do they always have to throw on 'I love Mommy' or some crap like that? I know he loves Mommy! Geez. But I found this website - Cottonseed Clothing - that not only has plain color onsies - but they are in every color. I even got a black one. And I've been in touch back and forth with the owner on some questions - and she is very nice and gives great service! I'll model him in the onsies when they arrive.

The other clothing related share is these fun things called Baby Legs. Aaron HATES them, I love them. So - Hulk only wears them when dad isn't around.... but I think I may be able to change his tune when he sees the new ones that I ordered - with FLAMES!! Before we started baby making - we had motorcycles. I got a bit obsessed with flames - I had them on everything, my motorcycle, my car (a beetle, it looked hilarious), my bicycle, my boots... even my dog's collar. So when I saw these, I had to get them. But besides being cute - I think that they are a heck of a lot easier at diaper changes then some of the crazy pants that Hulk has.

Yesterday I did manage to go to the gym... but the whole trip turned into a failure. My friend stopped by and I did the Hulk hand off. He was being extra cute - so I knew she wouldn't have too much trouble for the 2 hours I'd be gone. I got to the gym, only to find out the spin class I wanted to go to was totally full. I then went to ask about baby swimming lessons, and the lady told be they didn't start until the babies were 6 months old. Which I understand, but I almost cried. I don't even know why - I guess because I got up that morning and put on my 'big girl pants' and left my little man with someone else and I wasn't getting to do anything that I wanted. PLUS - because I was going to spin class, I had on biking shorts - the ones with the big pads in the crotch for comfort? So I couldn't even go use the elliptical or anything. I even forgot to bring a swimsuit - so I couldn't sit in the hot tub. So, I went to the grocery store (much easier sans baby, I must admit) and then went home.

I was still out for 2 hours - and turns out that he did fine without me. But Karen did say that he was sleeping fitfully on her chest, and when he would wake up - he'd nuzzle into her neck and then pull away - as if to say 'Hey - you aren't my mom!'. But he didn't freak out, which is good. And I was able to locate all my workout gear - so I guess we can call it a dry run. And, we did go for a nice long walk outside with the dogs - so all was not lost.

Wish me luck with my father!

Bullet Point Post

• Being a mom ROCKS
• Hulk is doing awesome (awesomely? what is the grammar rule on that one?)
• He slept 8 hours last night. Aaron and I woke up at 6, and he asked me when he woke up last night. I said "He didn't". And we both laid there in shock.
• I've started walking again (there are things on my body that jiggle that have never jiggled before... it's BAD). I feel great and Hulk loves it.
• Tomorrow I'm going to the gym for the first time....and leaving Hulk with a friend for 2 hours. I'm nervous for both - the gym and being away. Of course - the friend he is staying with is awesome, so I'm sure it will all be fine. My body at spin class? That is going to be interesting.
• My father is visiting Sunday/Monday.... fingers crossed it doesn't suck.

Handmade love

I'm knitting Hulk a sweater right now out of a book called 'Inspired Cable Knits'. Each pattern is 'inspired' by something - the sweater I'm knitting is called Ripples, and she states 'the cable pattern speaks to the ripples set in motion by the advent of a new life'. I think it's sweet - others make think it's cheesy.

In another part of the book, she talks about how a handmade gift is a true expression of love, because "We all have a finite amount of time, so it is a loving gesture to use some of this most precious commodity to make something for someone else...". Well, my baby has the handmade love brimming everywhere. Even when he was in the hospital, he was wearing hand knit booties and sweaters. But here at home, he has a few things I haven't shown off yet.

Just this weekend, Aaron finished a quilt rack that I had asked for:

The top quilt on the rack is one that I made about 3 years ago (click on the link to see the whole quilt). The fabrics were picked out of a scrap pile when my girlfriends went on a shopping trip without me... and they brought me home a surprise. I made this quilt in the summer, sitting on my back porch, thinking of my future baby. I showed the quilt top to Aaron's grandmother, and she decided to hand quilt it for me! So that is a neat handmade by a few generations plus the friend love that picked out the fabrics.

Then, we have that quilt I mentioned a few weeks ago that my quilting friends made me:

I just love thinking of them all getting together to make this for my little guy!

And finally, some hand knit love:

This adorable bunny was made by a 'newish' friend. I met Cathy on the trip I made when I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was freaking out about some spotting I was having, and I find out that she is an OB/GYN. Instead of avoiding the crazy pregnant lady on her vacation - she was a great comfort (and assured me the spotting was normal with the progesterone gel I was using). And I'm now honored to have her as a friend! And Hulk gets a supremely cute bunny in the deal.

Off to work on that little Ripple sweater for Hulk... he is totally spoiled with the handmade love.

Wordless Wednesday

It may be wrong that I found this funny.

Binkie in:

Blinkie out:
Cause and effect, big guy.

Random

Today - I have a bunch of random crap in my head. I shall spurt it out to you.

1. I went for a walk with Hulk in the Moby wrap and buttoned up in my jacket today. He was perfectly warm, and I took the dogs too. I got a LOT of people slowing down to check us out. I'm going to try and do the walk more often- good for me and the dogs!

2. My in-laws are crazy. I think I've mentioned before that they live on Nantucket. They want all of us to come visit... god save me. A ferry ride, all the baby stuff we need - not to mention the dogs? And then - he'll get passed around on show the whole time. Plus - my BIL and his wife had a baby 6 weeks before us - and they still haven't gone to the island. WTF!? I'm sure we are going to end up going soon enough, but I'm annoyed.

3. The other day, Aaron was sitting on my side of the bed and holing Hulk. I was holding back tears because everything is just so great right now. Am I still post-partum... or a huge mushball?

4. I want to go to Ikea - for no reason.

5. I've been catching up on 30 Rock - we have X-box live, and you can stream some things from Netflix using it - and I love that show!

6. I spent a good part of Friday figuring out daycare. I'm going back to work on Feb 27th. Aaron is going to take Thursday and Friday off of work. Then I'm going to work Monday, Wends, Friday for 2 weeks. And then I'll for 4 days... and then full time by the end of March. The good news is we visited the daycare place again - and I'm still really happy we chose them. See how happy I am when I finally leave him there. I figure I'll either be excited to go back to work - or a mess leaving him with someone else. Or maybe both!

First babysitter!

First big news! I'm blogging from my new computer. It is SUPER awesome and fast and I love it. My old computer was also awesome, but it had reached the end of it's life. Aaron built it for me over 5 years ago - and it had started dying a slow, painful death. Now, I have a new, speedy wonderful machine! I've been upgraded to Vista though. We'll see how well I adapt to change.

Yesterday, Suzanne came over for what I've come to call a 'Hulk viewing'. People pretend they are coming to hang out with Aaron and I - but it's a big lie. They just want to hold the baby. I totally understand! Aaron convinced me to go with him to get lunch - and I left the house without Hulk for the first time. Ever. Well, I did go get a massage last week, but he was with Aaron. Suzanne was the first non-family member to be alone with him....but then, Suzanne is pretty much family, so I guess it really wasn't a big deal. Anyway - here is the documentation.


We first got home, Hulk was a bit upset. Suzanne was left with the task of feeding him a bottle, and Hulk had tricked her into thinking he was done after 2 ozs (he usually eats 5 or 6).

Suzanne is a pretty 'baby smart' gal - she told me - "He ate, we changed his diaper.... but he won't stop crying!'. Then she showed me the bottle, and I said - oh - you have to wake him up to eat more!

After he really ate what he needed:

And after a few hours of watching him sleep, even Suzanne admitted that sometimes just staring at a cute baby isn't enough entertainment, and she pulled out her knitting:

It was a fun day for both of us - she got to see her godson, and I got some time to just sit and relax and talk to my friend.

First Mom's Group

So- today the Big Man and I went to our first mom's group. It was fun - and the neatest part was that there were almost 6 other babies there that were born around the same time. It was fun to hear all their questions - which were about the same ones that I was bombarding my doula with a few weeks ago (and I'm so glad I asked her then).

Things here are really going well. Hulk is sleeping for about 4 to 5 hours stretches with some consistency, which is awesome. I was thinking that I'm really lucky, but then I realized that we have a bunch of things in place that may be helping us in this sleep venture:

1. The Amby Baby Bed. More than once, he has started to fuss after maybe 3 hours of sleep. I get ready to pop out of bed, and I watch him fuss, and the bed moves, and the movement of the bed will soothe him back to sleep.
2. Swaddling. We have been swaddling since day one - and it totally 100% calms him down.
3. Feeding/his size. I weighed him today (with a diaper and a onesie on, so there is some room for error) and he is up to 12 pounds!!! So - he is able to eat up to 6 ounces at a feeding... which lets him sleep longer.
4. Bathing him each night. We don't use soap every night, but we put him in a nice warm bath each night. Sure, he fusses when you take him out (It's COLD! Put my clothes on NOW!!) - but you can see the soothing effect it has on him.

And of course - a heck of a lot of 'first timer' luck on our part. I totally know how lucky we are that he is doing well on the sleep thing.

Please god, don't let me have jinxed it by talking about it.

Wordless Wednesday

Last night's dilemma

Little Hulk was AWESOME yesterday. Happy, not much crying.... he even wasn't all upset in his normal 'witching hours' of 5 - 7. So, while Aaron shopped for parts for a new computer for me (hurrah! mine is dying a slow death), we hung out. But at around 6, it was time for a bottle. Aaron fed him while I made pizza. Before Aaron sat down, he had opened a beer. I have skillfully photo shopped the below picture so you can all see the crisis (I think you need to click to embiggen if you can't see the words):

Don't worry, after I took the picture, I handed him the beer. I'm a good wife, most of the time. Although I did giggle and grab the camera first.

Today I'm going to do a few errands that take me right by my office, so I'm going to pop in and slow off the little guy. I'm excited for them to meet him!

Getting there....

So. I didn't want to post about it because I didn't want to jinx it - but Hulk slept 5 hours on both Friday and Saturday night! Yesterday was a big fussy butt day, so we ended up back to the 2 hours of sleep after being awake for 1 to feed - nothing left to jinx. I can only hope that we have a few more of those 5 hours nights - it's scary how great 5 hours in a row feels (and no crying! even if Aaron is doing a shift, you still wake up to the crying no matter what.) !


Today I'm going to work on cleaning up the living room and washing the dog beds. Like I've mentioned before - dog bed washing is pretty traumatic around here... so we'll see if we can actually do it without large amounts of dog sadness.


Well, I just got up real quick and put the dog beds in the washer, and returned to this:

Abby (the one laying down) is not only sad that the dog beds are gone, but I also pulled the gate so she can't go upstairs and sleep on the guest room bed. She is PISSED. Henry won't lay down for the next 2 hours until the beds come back. He is spoiled.

Hulk is sleeping now, so I'm going to relax and knit a bit on the sweater I'm making him. I only have 2 blue sweaters, and one is already too small, if you can believe it. So I want to make sure he has a few hand knits to get him through the winter! OK. That is a bit of a lie. He has 3 other good 'boy' sweaters - but they aren't BLUE. He needs blue ones. : )

ETA: I also realize that Friday was really 4 WEEKS and not a month. Today is Hulk's one month 'birthday'. I chalk up the mistake to baby brain. All the stuff I wrote on Friday holds true!

One month

This idea to document each month comes from Cecily.

Well, my little man, we survived the first month! Considering that almost everything did not go according to my 'plans' it been a pretty eventful month. First, I was induced due to high blood pressure, which ended up in a c-section (thanks to you having a short cord that was wrapped around your neck - good work on scaring mama within the first minutes of your life!). Breastfeeding went about the same way - we tried and tried, but had to do what was best for the both of us - and you are very happy with your formula... assuming we provide it within the 3 second time frame in which you go from sound asleep to totally freaking out hungry, lol.

I must admit, I'm totally in love. To me, you are perfect. Your little hands, you not so little feet - I even think you are cute when you cry. And I totally understand all those soccer mom's who are kind of crazy when it comes to protecting their children. I would pretty much do anything at to be sure that you are safe, happy and loved (note to self - must not become crazy, hovering mother).

To all those people who said my life was going to totally change - I admit, it has. But not in any way that bothers me. It's totally natural to me to be running to your crib at 3 AM to settle you down, or changing a nasty poopy diaper... or just sitting in the morning watching you smile (you smile in the morning - yet another way that you take after your father). I will admit that the relationship between your father and I has changed - but I think it's also in a good way. We now think of ourselves as a family... and are working to find the balance between sleep, together time, and getting each of us rested to make it through a day! I never said surviving on 2 hours bits of sleep or that Aaron's role of trying to understand the whims of a crazy, post-partum woman was easy!

I can't believe how quickly the last month has gone by (to think I was wondering what I would do with myself when not working for a month, HA!) - but at the same time - it feels like you have always been here. And maybe you have - your sweet little spirit may have been following us around, waiting for the right time to join us - and I'm so glad you are here now. I can't wait to see what sort of a boy you are going to turn out to be. At the same time - I don't want to wish away this wonderful time when I can just scoop you up and easily make everything better just by giving you a bottle or a little loving.

We love you, little man!

Hello 2009!

Well, 2008 was a great year. I enjoyed pretty much all of it. We got off to a rocky start (Aaron's 2 week headache and the aftermath of the miscarriage), but my pregnancy was perfect. The anticipation of Hulk arriving was more than I could have ever imagined. Aaron finished some HUGE projects in the house. I spent time with my friends, hung out with family.

The sadness that my father-in-law's stroke brought was totally unexpected (obviously) - but the way our friends and family rallied around us was yet another amazing thing.

And finishing out the year with the new addition to our family was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.

I can only hope that this new year brings the same joys and opportunities.