Do you have friends that say things like 'my husband would never let me do that'? Usually in reference to going away on a trip kid-free for a weekend or an impromptu movie in the middle of week with girlfriends? Sadly, I do.
Aaron is always joking with me that I don't have to ask permission to go out. That he is my partner and that of course I can go out if I want to. And I do. Just in the last year, I've done a 10 day trip to India, a girls weekend on the Cape, a quilting weekend with friends in NH and small things like Mom's night out with girlfriends or seeing a chick flick in the middle of the week. I try to be fair. I think about what sort of day Aaron has had at work, or what he'll be dealing with (if the kids are crabby because of colds or whatever) and sometimes I'll pass on an offer to go out with girlfriends. Sometimes I miss my kids at the end of a crappy day and I need baby hugs. And I usually plan far in advance nights that I'll be out - so he knows what's going on.
It's very rare that I ping him mid-day and tell him that I'm going out that night. And yesterday, Aaron stayed home with the kids in the morning so I could go swimming. And he had a crappy day at work. But a friend and I were talking about needing pedicure, and she called and told me she made an appointment for that evening at 6:15. I almost told her I couldn't go. But instead, I pinged Aaron. I texted him that I was going to the CSA with the kids after school, and could he meet me there, because I needed to meet my friend for a pedicure?
He didn't even bat an eyelash. My husband rocks.
To me (and many of my unmarried, childless friends), this seems like such a little thing. I bet Aaron doesn't even know what a huge difference it makes to me that he is so laid back about it. And what a huge difference it makes in my stress level that I can count on Aaron to be a 'single' parent for the night so I can connect with friends, child-free.
I love it that Aaron and I are a team.