Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bullshit

This weekend, we had a blast. I had been surfing around looking for toddler race car beds, and found one for sale on craigslist for $90 including the mattress. Seemed like a good deal to me, and it was in the same town that Aaron's younger brother lives in, so I was figuring it was a win-win. We could get together with them, pick up the bed, and maybe even get in a visit with Aaron's father. So we called and set a time to meet - and went to the zoo together.

On a side note, I took Friday off work, and brought Cam to Davis Farmland. I thought he would LOVE it there. He did, after a bit. But the animals come right up to you. They are very gentle - and after while he thought it was fun! Especially the chickens. He LOVES the chickens. I didn't really think about the effect that experience would have on going to the zoo the next day. The first thing we saw were the elephants, and I was sure he was going to pass out in fear. I realized that he thought these HUGE animals were going to come over to him. Once he realized that they were all safely behind the barrier, all was good. But it took about 30 minutes to convince him of that.

Anyway. Back to the bullshit. Our SIL met us there with her two kids, and we had a blast. Her younger child is only 6 weeks older than Cam - so it's really cool to see them together. But of course, the family drama has to come into play. Long story short, Aaron's older brother A (the one that didn't come to Nora's memorial) is going to be in the area in a few weeks. In Nantucket. And J (my SIL) will also be going to Nantucket at the same time. This also coincides with the Pops On Nantucket. Months ago, I was trying to plan our summer - and I called our MIL and asked if we could come the week of the Pops for a vacation. She told us that she was 'booked' the week before and after. So I was like, huh. But OK, whatever. She didn't mention that both brothers were going to be there with all the cousins. I found that out when I called J a few weeks back to see when we could get together.

Both Aaron and I were somewhat offended. Not only was basically the whole family getting together without us, but our MIL was trying to hid it. Which is stupid and weird - because you know it was going to get out at some point that they were all together. Aaron's Grandmother and Aunts and Uncles also live on the island. Aaron mentioned it to his mother - that there was a family reunion going on that we weren't invited to - and everyone denied it. Whatever.

At the zoo, J was pushing for us to still come to Nantucket. And we just ignored her. At the end of the visit, she gave me a box of baby clothes. I opened it up last night and there were SO many cute things I had to call to thank her. She pushed a bit more on us going to Nantucket, and I finally said - we are NOT going to Nantucket while A is there. I don't think anyone understands that the 30 second phone call that A made when Nora died was awful. No matter what is going on in a family - you come. No matter what BS is going on, you congratulate you brother on the birth of his daughters. You hug him when one dies. And he didn't do it. That whole family didn't do a lot of things, but this was the worst. So no. We aren't going to freaking Nantucket when he is there. And she tells me that she knew that A thought really hard about coming, and it was a hard decision for him.

I'm sorry - but I don't care how hard it was for him. It is and was a thousand times MORE difficult for us. And a brother should know that and MAN the FUCK UP.

J was talking about the whole situation, and she said that Justin mentioned there will need to be a death in the family for the 2 of them to get together again. I paused, and said - there WAS a death in the family. It's like people have already forgotten. And it's total bullshit. So, I hadn't been fired up about this whole thing in a long time - but now I am all over again. Stupid family drama.

7 comments:

Dreams and False Alarms said...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HereWeGoAJen said...

I'm sorry about the family drama. That really sucks.

Deborah said...

The things that come out of people's mouths! That is terrible.

Amysue said...

Be strong and trust your feelings. Love.

Orodemniades said...

For the love of god I'd hug a freakin' stranger whose child just died - not doing so for a family member? Biggest Fail Ever.

I think you're doing the right thing. You have to protect yourselves.

Carrie27 said...

Do what is best for you and your family, that's all that will matter. So sorry that they seem to be making plans intentionally without you.

Imogen said...

It just kept getting worse :( So sorry xx