Tuesday, November 27, 2012


I'm just getting back to normal after 5 days off. My mom came for almost the whole time, which is a whole other story. BUT. It was a great break, and we did loads. Went for hikes, I got to go swimming, went to see The Rise of the Guardians (this was the first movie that neither child was scared of - totally recommend), had turkey, visited with friends, saw Grinch the musical in Boston, and even had a mini birthday party for the kids with grandma.

This year feels different somehow. In past years, I've felt out of control. It's either been because I was having a miscarriage, expecting a baby (or babies), had a newborn or two, or dealing with a loss or anticipating the sadness that would come with the anniversary of Nora's birth or death..... but this year I don't have that. We had a nice, low key Thanksgiving, I have plans for the kids birthday's (and some pretty cute invitations have been distributed for the party), and the Christmas cards have been ordered. I know I'll have a bit of tightness in my chest on Maggie's birthday - because I always think of the day she was born, and I think of the two of them... but it's starting to be a dull roar and not a scream.

Thursday is her birthday. Maggie will wake up to find both Mommy and Daddy home and presents waiting for her. She and I are going with friends to visit ponies, and hopefully take a ride. We'll spend the day together and have a blast. We will get home to meet MORE people that love her and have a tiny, family birthday party (she and Cam and another friend are sharing a huge party on the 15th). She will be surrounded with love, and that is what is most important to me. That when she grows up, she remember what a big deal her crazy mother made of her birthday. Because the day that she was born was one of the best days of my life.


Deborah said...

It's so fun to be able to give children memories like that! I hope Maggie has a great day, and I'm so glad that you're able to focus on the happiness of the day she & Nora were born and convey that to her.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Thinking of you and hoping for all the anniversaries to be as easy as they can be.

Kahla said...

Sounds like Maggie is going to have a wonderful day. I was an identical twin whose sister passed from SIDS at 6 weeks (and have an older brother). As hard as it was for her, my mom always made sure my day was special. You are an awesome mom. This post made me cry.

Sara said...

Just lovely, Cece.