Anniversaries

I'm just getting back to normal after 5 days off. My mom came for almost the whole time, which is a whole other story. BUT. It was a great break, and we did loads. Went for hikes, I got to go swimming, went to see The Rise of the Guardians (this was the first movie that neither child was scared of - totally recommend), had turkey, visited with friends, saw Grinch the musical in Boston, and even had a mini birthday party for the kids with grandma.

This year feels different somehow. In past years, I've felt out of control. It's either been because I was having a miscarriage, expecting a baby (or babies), had a newborn or two, or dealing with a loss or anticipating the sadness that would come with the anniversary of Nora's birth or death..... but this year I don't have that. We had a nice, low key Thanksgiving, I have plans for the kids birthday's (and some pretty cute invitations have been distributed for the party), and the Christmas cards have been ordered. I know I'll have a bit of tightness in my chest on Maggie's birthday - because I always think of the day she was born, and I think of the two of them... but it's starting to be a dull roar and not a scream.

Thursday is her birthday. Maggie will wake up to find both Mommy and Daddy home and presents waiting for her. She and I are going with friends to visit ponies, and hopefully take a ride. We'll spend the day together and have a blast. We will get home to meet MORE people that love her and have a tiny, family birthday party (she and Cam and another friend are sharing a huge party on the 15th). She will be surrounded with love, and that is what is most important to me. That when she grows up, she remember what a big deal her crazy mother made of her birthday. Because the day that she was born was one of the best days of my life.