Monday, April 1, 2013

Weekend of Favorites

Going into this weekend, I was a bit overwhelmed. We had visitors and dinners and parties and events booked solid from Thursday forward. I had it mostly under control in terms of planning, but it was a really packed weekend and could have easily been thrown off kilter.

But nope. It was wonderful. We were surrounded all weekend by our very favorite people. Friends, family and loved ones - some we haven't seen in over 8 years. We was awesome. I pulled off 3 events with food for over 15 people each time, and then really amazing dinners for our little family too. AND we went out to a very nice dinner in Boston with Aaron's family AND went to the movies on Sunday night. As we were going through the weekend, Aaron and I have commented numerous times that we really have a great life. We are surrounded with fun, amazing and wonderful people. We were just happy.

Aaron's mother was here for Easter also. She had just taken a trip with Aaron's older brother (the one that didn't come to Nora's funeral and hasn't spoken to us since) to Italy for 2 weeks. Perhaps you remember my post talking about my July plans? We had asked Betsy months ago if we could hang out with her in Nantucket for July 4, and she quickly agreed. Well, come to find out that while she was with Aaron's brother, he announces that they bought non-refundable tickets (they live on the west coast) to visit that week.

If this was a 'normal' family, I would have assumed she would have said - 'I'm sorry, but I already have visitors booked that week, you should have asked first." But no. She told Aaron what had happened, and basically assumed he would give our spot to Adam. And then quickly asked - but you will come another week this summer, right? Aaron said no, and I'm not sure that is what I would have replied, but no matter what - it's hurtful. It has become very clear that we are not the favorites. And I don't even understand why. It makes me sad, it makes Aaron sad, and it's a loss for our kids. Aaron had a long talk with her about WHY it bothers him what has happened with his brothers and how it hurts him, and who knows if it gets through. I'm glad he finally laid it all out for her, and we will see where it goes from here.

In the end, we have chosen our 'family'. Yes, some are blood relations, but others we have picked up and embraced along the way - and I wouldn't change it for the world.


Anonymous said...

Setting boundaries is healthy and you and Aaron have done so with honesty and clarity. I'm sorry his Mom doesn't get it. You're a wonderful and creative family, I love seeing all the fabulous things you do and projects you're all working on! The kids get more adorable every day!

Anonymous said...

Um...I meant to sign that-amysue

Catwoman73 said...

Ugh... good luck to you. Family relationships are just so complicated. I'm so sorry you ended up feeling hurt. :(

HereWeGoAJen said...

Family stuff sucks so much sometimes. I get it.

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