It's high blood pressure. Which is what I was thinking - but when I questioned the nurse on his reading on Friday (it was 160 over something) she said that was normal. Um, ok. Anyway - he finally got to see a neurologist today, and she figured it out, took him off the pain meds and put him on some blood pressure medicine. He looked better by the time his dad brought him home.
When he called me to tell me that the only way the neurologist could see him today was at the ER (she was on call), I was in the middle of an extremely shitty work day. If I left, things would have fallen apart worse then they already were. And I knew that we were in for a day of just sitting there. He went at 11, and didn't get seen until 5. I basically was sitting on mute on conference call crying. Definitely hit the end of my rope. I called Aaron's dad - who only lives about an hour away - and he came to my rescue. He let me have some semblance of order in my life. Aaron told me he was fine there on his won... but I would have been sitting at work worried all day that he was sitting all alone, in pain and scared in the ER. And you can tell in Aaron's face tonight that he is relieved that there is an actual reason for the headaches. But don't get me started on my opinion on how his whole case was handled! His BP was 180 over something the first time we came in, and then 160 the second time... doesn't that raise a red flag? Guess not - give him pain meds and send him home. Grrrrr.
Dealing with the high blood pressure is an issue for another day. Well, that is a lie. It's 1:40 in the morning, and I'm down here typing because I can't sleep because I'm now worried about Aaron's diet and exercise. Heavy Sigh.
The one good thing that came out of today is that after my mini-breakdown at work, my nurse called. She asked me how things were going, and I just started crying again. She got me calmed down, and then transferred me to IVF social worker. What an awesome woman. We talked for about 30 minutes. She let me cry and vent and talk... and obviously that was something I really needed to do. And she gave me the number for someone in my town for Aaron and I to see before the next cycle (and to help deal with this one). She says I haven't had time to grieve - and my first answer was - but it all happened so long ago! And she reminded me that it was less than 3 weeks ago that the shit hit the fan.
Guess time DOESN'T fly when everything is going wrong? Talking to her made me feel better, and honestly, crying felt good. I have wanted to cry this past week, but didn't want to stress Aaron out, or my mother (who is definitely going through her own stuff with her mom dying)... so I've been being 'strong'. Felt good to give that up for at least a little while, you know?
I think I'm going to go try and sleep now....