Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Thanks

Hey everyone. Thanks for your nice, thoughtful and supportive comments yesterday. After all the spotting last week - I had a pretty good feeling that things were going south, but was trying to stay positive.

You know, because staying positive is important. And relaxing. Drink some wine and you'll get pregnant.

Whoops, bitter Cece has entered the building.

All last week I had bright red spotting. I knew it was bad when I called the nurse and they wanted to know the size of the spots - dime sized or quarter? And I was like, well - they are all smooshed together now... I can't tell how big they are when they overlap! Sigh. And then on Monday night, I was home and sitting in the living room, and I felt a gush. No pain, just a gush. I went to the bathroom, and I was bleeding... but I would wipe and it would stop. I would go back and sit, and a few minutes later a bit more. Again and again. I called Aaron, who was working late, and told him I was spotting again.... and I could tell that he was sick of me obsessing about it (I couldn't come out on the phone and say I was bleeding for whatever reason.). I just knew that it was a miscarriage, but didn't want to say the words.

After a restless night's sleep, Aaron asked me in the morning what I wanted to do. Did I want to wait until Weds for the u/s? I did but I didn't. So we went in. They confirmed everything, but were very nice and understanding.

I'm OK. Sad, but OK. Everyone has been really great, and Aaron is being wonderful. The doc told me that they'll review my case, and once I get my period, we'll start again. And I'm ready, trust me. I have the whole week of Christmas off, and we are staying home. My boss is being really understanding (he wife went through this also) so that is good. But I'm working today - if I just sit here, all I'll do is cry. And that sucks.

I go in again next week for an u/s to be sure everything is OK again, and then I'll just relax for a bit.

21 comments:

Baby Deux! said...

Again, I AM SO SORRY!!! I am happy that you have the whole week of Christmas off though, make sure Aaron waits on you hand and foot!!!

Morrisa said...

I know you have heard it from me already but I am sorry. Do you have to take a month off before starting again?

Meghan said...

I wish there was something more to say besides I'm sorry, and it sucks, and is just f-ing unfair! I'm glad you've at least got an understanding boss and that week off will give you some mental health time. I hope Aaron plans lots of fun things for you!

Hekateris said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this.

serenity said...

Oh, Cece. Shit. This just isn't fair. :(

And IMO, the whole "stay positive and relax" is complete BS. You be bitter. Or angry. Or sad. Feel whatever you need to feel.

Thinking of you.

xxx

The Town Criers said...

I am so so sorry, sweetie.

Samantha said...

I'm really sorry. I'm glad Aaron is there for you and your boss understands.

A said...

I know I already told you, but again, I am so sorry.

chicklet said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry this happened. I just thought you were done and free of this.

On the bitter Cece vs positive Cece, f* positive Cece - positive's great when you can do it, but bitter helps us SURVIVE. Hang in there.

Sooz said...

I'm so sorry. Need any chocolate, alcohol, cheesy movies?

pfenn said...

I'm soooo sorry. There is nothing to say but know that you are in all of our thoughts.

Searching said...

I'm so sorry. :(

Geohde said...

Cece, again, I am so sorry. You were amazinly positive throughout what must have been s sressful time and I'm sorry that you're back at square one.

xx

J

Michell said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Jen said...

I am so very sorry.

In and Out of Luck said...

I'm so sorry.

Sunny said...

I am so sorry. No words just major thoughts going your way. HUGS!

Meg said...

I am so incredibly sorry.

Someplace you will find the strength to keep moving...it is there someplace and will re-surface sometime, I promise.

Big virtual hugs to you.

REBECCA said...

I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

My_Herstory said...

Aww I'm sorry. Just remember to take the time you need. Thinking of you and DH.

Bea said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Bea