Maggie is going through a pretty awful stage right now. She is constantly throwing crying fits if she senses some injustice to her person (like not being able to take EVERY SINGLE WIPE out of the container). She'll hit (or something else equally bad) and then when we say NO HITTING! She'll throw a fit. My practice has been if she is crying to send her to the crying chair and pretty much ignore her until she is done. Which works really well. She gets it out and then usually comes back into the room with a smile on her face.
Now, we add in the hitting and/or injury to another person. She usually cries because I tell her NO in a firm voice and ends up in the crying chair - but both Aaron and my instinct has been to tell her she can't get back the toy/do anything fun/have ice cream/whatever until she says she is sorry to the person she hurt. This has not been going quite as well. She will sit there and not say anything for upwards for 45 minutes. She'll cry herself into a hiccuping mess, and if she calms down and you ask 'Are you ready to say sorry?' she'll say no and just start crying again.
It's frustrating. I know she understands not to hit. I know she understands that she needs to say sorry (maybe not the exact meaning of sorry - but that is the same issue with please and thank you in my eyes. She is learning to be a member of society.) But she is so freaking stubborn, and in reality - it's ruining MY evening to have to sit there with a tantruming baby almost every night. So I asked around. It's an interesting split. Some people completely agree with me, and others say that she is either too young to understand and/or forcing someone to say your sorry will make her 'resent' the person and also make her realize that you don't have to mean it when you say it.
What are your thoughts? I will persevere with the course we have set (unless someone has some other wonderful idea). Like I just said in my last post, we have very few rules, but 2 of the biggies are to be nice to other people and have good manners. Hitting and then not saying sorry are basically blowing all the house rules. But it's brutal! Please tell me that you have been through it and it's just a stage? Or at least tell me that I'm doing the right thing!