Monday, November 19, 2007

On the Fence

I've had to whole weekend to think about things (Well. Let's be real - one thing. Am. I. Pregnant.). And I have to say, I'm not 100% sure. I have symptoms, but not a huge amount... and those could be due to the progesterone (sore boobs, darker nipples), and others are kind of AF like (cramps, zits). The outlier is the potential implantation spotting on 7DPT. I still feel really positive. I must admit I was sorely tempted on Sunday to dig through all of Aaron's things to see where he hid the HPTs. I didn't.

I keep on comparing things to my ectopic pregnancy, because it's my only reference point. I have a note on my fertility friend chart about tender breasts at 12 and 13 DPO. And fatigue on 15 DPO. Today is only 12DPO for me right now. I'm thinking that some of the things I felt then may not be the same for a 'normal' pregnancy. We were on a 'rest' cycle, so I wasn't even thinking that I may be pregnant then, and wasn't obsessing properly.

I feel like I've made it this far, I can wait a few more days. We will go into my clinic first thing in the morning, so we are sure that they can get us the results that same day. And I will prepare myself for the worst. And, rational me (who may not be available to talk to after a negative test result) knows that I responded really well to the IVF treatment. That we have another cycle approved by insurance before March. That this cycle was a good learning experience for both me and the doctors.

But damn do I want this to be it. Aaron the Oracle (who correctly guessed the number of eggs they would retrieve AND the number that would fertilize) tells me that he thinks that I am pregnant with one, and it's a girl.

Guess I'll find out in 3 days! Well, not about the girl thing. Because we want it to be a surprise. Or the 'one' part. Because that will have to wait for the 6 week u/s. But at least the pregnancy thing!

9 comments:

serenity said...

Well, yeah. You're right - you almost can't compare your symptoms to your ectopic. Because you're on synthetic progesterone, which (for me at least) made my pre-AF symptoms feel like pregnancy symptoms.

I think you're being very balanced about this. Preparing for the worst, yet hoping for the best. That's about all you can do.

However. I really, really, REALLY hope you get to celebrate. And that Aaron is right.

Fingers tightly crossed here, hon.

xxx

mary ellen said...

I so hope that Aaron is right. Steve correctly guessed that I was pregnant too. I guess that sometimes these guys know more than what we give them credit for.

Meghan said...

So hoping your oracle is right!

Susan said...

Good girl for not poas :) Wednesday is just 1 day and a wake up away! Here's hoping you have something teeny-tiny to be thankful for on Thursday!!

Baby Deux? said...

Friday is u/s and blood work, I called back to make sure because I am a freak like that. I was shocked they wanted an u/s so early too! My hubby and I are wondering if they doing one to see how many are in there due to the 2 eggs releasing....

Imogen and David said...

David knew when I was pregnant too - spooky - sounds promising. You are being very strong, I would have torn the house apart searching for those darn pee sticks by now :D

amysue said...

All week end I kept hearing a song by debbie friedman in my head whenever I thought of you "those who sow in tears will reap in joy". This stuff is so hard. No one gets it. Even now, 12+ years later and with my two wonderful kids I get maudlin about it all.
It's funny I can listen to my friends in the infertility battles tell me about their pregnancies all day, fertile women still annoy me. what can I say?
I am so glad you'll be with Aaron and family when you hear and I am hoping, hoping, it's the news we are all praying for. And I hope Aaron is right because I already told John that if you're pregnant I'm buying Little Bitty Nursery and the cutest girl stuff is in there!

Geohde said...

I don't know just how you've managed to get to 12dpo without peeing on SOMETHING stick shaped, just to relieve the urge....

xx

J

Baby Step said...

I want this to be it for you to...I am holding high hopes for you.

xoxox
Babystep