Thursday, June 14, 2007

EDD

Today is the EDD of my ectopic pregnancy. I'm not overwhelmingly sad, unless I really start to dwell on it. June 14th.... think about it. It's the most perfect due date ever. Give birth the end of spring, and take my 3 months of maternity leave over the summer. I'd get to spend a lot of time with my friends who are teachers... I was visualizing trips to my family's cabin the Berkshires, cute pictures of me 'showing' at Christmas...

But shit happens.

I'm not sitting here crying all day. Of course I wish I was already on the other side of this battle. But - we have a 'battle plan' and a path forward. And we are in a better place financially and physically this year than we were last. I just have to keep on focusing on the good - otherwise I think I would have sunk into a deep hole of depression.

Work continues to be brutal. I just walked out last night for a 6 mile walk. I hadn't been away from my computer (except to eat, go to the bathroom and sleep) since Monday. I needed to get some fresh air. It helped. And then this morning, I went to yoga for the first time since Saturday - and I felt like crap. I'm just so tired, and my shoulders are super tight from the stress. I'm glad I went, though.

5 comments:

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

These anniversaries are so hard. Sending you a hug.

Rachel said...

I am sorry this is a hard day. I hope that something good happens for you.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Good for you for getting some fresh air! I can only imagine the pain that you are going through. Anniversaries like that are brutal and to have also lost a summer maternity leave makes the pain utterly unthinkable.....

Sticky Bun said...

I'm so sorry...these days are so hard...

Geohde said...

I hear you...I'm dreading my EDD because I'm deathly afraid it is going to pass again and again with no child.

Hang in there.