Thursday, June 28, 2007

Taking Charge

If you read my comments from yesterday, my buddy Cate is a bit fired up about everything, and agrees with my assessment. This document is the 'rulebook' for my medical plan's infertility coverage. See page 5, Section 3.e.2. That is our situation. I feel strongly that we are covered under 3.e.2.d - whereas their argument is that we are under 3.e.2.c.

Aaron and I have been talking about this whole situation. Both of us are analytical types. When we first started the whole IF process, I knew a little bit about what would happen. Not too much. And my default reaction when dealing with medical people is trust. I assume they have my best interests in mind, and are the experts. I defer to them. When Aaron and I first had our treatments laid out, we started with the normal tests, and moved onto clomid. I had no idea what to expect from the first meeting, so was excited when I left, figuring we would be pregnant the next month. And the doc was very optimistic about the whole thing also.

Next month, we moved to clomid with IUI. Without question. And then when that didn't work, another month of clomid with IUI. That month I had a cyst... so we decided to take a month off before starting injectables with IUI. I needed to get an HSG for this next step. He really didn't mention how much that would HURT! This wasn't the first time he forgot to mention the 'downsides' of a treatment. He didn't really mention about the side effects of clomid either.

And then I got pregnant. And I came for the u/s. And that is when the shit hit the fan. Nothing in my uterus. I was shuttled to Boston for a 'better' u/s. Send BACK to my doc's office. I sat in the waiting room with all the babies and pregnant women for over an hour until someone realized that was a bad idea. He told me that day, that once this cleared up, I would need to go straight to IVF. Nothing about the rules we would have to follow. Nothing about the waiting time. And, misinformation about expected weight loss. Nothing about additional required testing for Aaron.

This whole IVF process has been much more harrowing than it needed to be. If we understood the expected next steps, or the issues we may have encountered, I would have been able to deal with the last month of disappoints much better. In addition, his continuous focus on my weight (which even came up on the phone when I talk to him yesterday!) when all of the tests I have undergone have rules out my weight as the issue.... I think I need to move on. He did tell me that he is submitting a protest on Friday to the insurance companies ruling. If he is somehow successful in getting me in for IVF before Oct, I'll at least go through this next cycle with him. But, I have made an appointment with a doctor at Brigham and Woman's for August 7th.

Aaron and I both feel that talking to a different doctor can't hurt. And she may have different input for us. We are certainly better educated after a year of dealing with IF -and know what questions to ask. We also know what WE need from our doctor. The group at Brigham and Woman's is large enough, that I feel like if I explain to her what we, as a couple dealing with infertility, need - and she can't provide it - maybe she could point us to another doc that can.

Might as well give success a chance to happen, right?


Serenity said...

You GO girl. I think that yes, it's time to move on.

Good choice - I've heard very good things about the Brigham. I go to BIVF and like their practice (particularly my doctor, of whom I have a bit of a crush) so if you want info for that, feel free to email me at serenitynowinfertile at gmail dot com.

Either way, I think this is a good step. And if you're going to have to wait anyway, getting a second opinion can't hurt.

Just make sure you tell them that you're thinking of switching practices. When I had my consult with Newdoc, there was some confusion as to why we were there.

*hug* This is so frustrating. I hope a new clinic does the trick hon!

Laura, the (reluctant) baroness said...

Doctors are not all the same, and I think it is incredibly important that you feel confident and confortable with your RE. There are doctors out there who care about their patients as people and advocate for them. There are also those who treat it like just a job, and don't go the extra distance. If you think its time for another opinion, then the time is right to move on. Good luck!!

Geohde said...

Find a Doctor who's opinion you can value.

By that I mean one that *does* seem to give a shit about you, because they damn well *should*.

I think medicos often forget that there's a *person* sitting in front of them, desperate for help that they have the power to give.

With that power comes resposnibility. Besides, so much of medicine comes down to interpersonal stuff. To put it another way, a lot of what makes a great doctor is not medical knowledge.

This sort of uncaring behaviour gets me all fired up. I wouldn't do it to a patient of mine, and nobody should have to take it.