OK. I know I've been saying, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. And in all honesty - this whole pregnancy IS a blessing and I'm excited, etc.
BUT. (and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I'm not).
I just went through this whole pregnancy thing a year ago. I'm hungry, but then can't eat. I'm moody. And I swear - I'm already showing. I'm tired. SO tired. And it is a lot harder to just sit and relax with Hulk in the picture! I want to play with him and take him for walks and just hang out with him. We ran all around town Saturday morning doing errands, watched Aaron's soccer game (it was hothothothothot) and then went swimming again. Hulk was just as tired as we were, and passed out Saturday night.
Sunday morning, he was up for the day at 6 AM. We fed him his breakfast, and then I totally spaced that he would be hungry an hour later for a bottle. He was FLIPPING out, crying so hard his veins were popping out, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. Finally! I realize that he wants a bottle!
At which point the freaking out began. Besides being super tired, being pregnant makes me a space cadet. I worry that poor Hulk isn't going to get to play as much with his mumma because I'm SO tired... and then I go and let him get so hungry that he's inconsolable? I felt awful. And then I got to thinking - what is my life really going to be like in 8 months? Hulk was an awesome baby (after we got over the whole breastfeeding thing) what are these new little guys going to be like? What the heck are we going to do for childcare? Who in their right mind will take care of 3 babies? And how on earth are we going to afford it all?
I know that Aaron and I can handle it (physically, emotionally AND financially). As things become more real - I'm getting a bit overwhelmed. And I don't think that is a bad thing. But, overwhelmed nonetheless.